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When she was settled in she called Arnie； gave him her room number in case of emergency； and told him she'd be back in a couple of days at most。 She heard him pop a can of beer while she was talking…not； to judge by his slightly slurred speech； his first of the night。 He'd be fine without her； she thought。 Probably happier。
She ordered up some room…service food； and then sat plotting how she'd proceed the next day。 Her first line of enquiry would be the most direct： she'd go up to Todd's home in Bel Air and try to find out whether or not he was there。 His address was no secret。 In fact she had pictures of every room in the house； including the ensuite bathroom with the sunken tub； taken by the realtor when the house was still on the market； though of course it had been remodeled since and its layout had probably changed。 Of course； her chances of even getting to the front door…much less of seeing him…were remote。 But it would be foolish of her not to try。 Maybe she'd catch him going out for a jog； or spot him standing at a window。 Then all her concerns would be laid to rest and she would be able to go back to Sacramento happy； knowing that he was alive and well。
She'd hired a car at the airport； and had planned to drive up to Bel Air the evening she arrived； but after the hassles of the delayed flight she was simply too tired； so she went to bed at ten and rose bright and early。 The room service offered at the hotel was nothing special…and she liked a good breakfast…so she crossed over Wilshire and went into Westwood Village； found herself a diner； and ate heartily： scrambled eggs； bacon； hash browns； white toast and coffee。 While she ate she skimmed People and USA Today。 Both had pieces about the uping Oscars； which were now only three days away。 Todd had never won an Oscar （which Tammy believed to be absolute proof of the corruption of the Academy） but he'd been nominated four years ago for Lost Rites； one of his less popular pictures。 She'd been very proud of him： he'd done fine work in the movie and she'd thought he had a crack at winning。 Watching the ceremony had been nearly impossible。 Her heart had hammered so hard as Susan Sarandon； who'd been presenting the award； had fumbled with the envelope； Tammy thought she was going to pass out from anticipation before the winner was even named。 And then of course； Sarandon had named the winner； and it hadn't been Todd。 The cameras had been on him throughout the whole envelope…fumbling routine； and there'd been a moment between the naming of the winner and his applauding when his disappointment had been perfectly clear： at least to someone who knew the language of his face as well as Tammy。
She'd only seen one of the movies in this year's race； and she'd only gone to that because Tom Hanks was in it； and he seemed such a likable man。 She skimmed the articles rather than reading them； hoping maybe there'd be some reassuring mention of Todd。 But there was nothing。
Breakfast finished； she walked back to the hotel； left a message for Arnie at the airport； just to say all was fine； and then picked up a map at the front desk in case her sense of direction failed her。 Thus prepared； she set off for Todd's home。
It took twenty…five minutes driving through the heavy morning traffic to get up into the narrow； winding streets of Bel Air。 There wasn't much to see； most of the mansions were hidden behind high walls； bristling with spikes and video cameras。 But there was no doubting the fact that she was in a very select neighborhood。 The cars parked on the narrow thoroughfares were all expensive （in one spot she maneuvered past a coffee…and…cream Rolls Royce on the left and a red Porsche on the right）。 On another street she encountered some glamorously…hooded superstar out running； a black limo following close behind； presumably carrying the bottled water and the granola bars。
What must it be like； she wondered as she drove； to be so pampered and cosseted？ To know that if there was no toilet paper in the house； no ice cream in the freezer； then it was somebody else's damn job to go and get it。 Never to have to worry about taxes or mortgage payments。 Never to wake up at three in the morning and think： Who am I？ I'm nobody。 If I died tomorrow nobody would ready notice； nobody would really care。
Of course she knew there were plenty of responsibilities that came along with all this wealth and fort。 And they took their toll on some folks： it drove them to drink and drugs and adultery。 It was hard to be idolized and scrutinized。 But she'd never had much sympathy for the plainers。 So； people paid you millions to see you smile； and it made you feel inadequate。 Tough shit。
She found Todd's house readily enough。 There was no number； but she recognized the castellated wall and the square lamps on either side of the gate。 She drove on up the street； found a parking spot； and wandered back towards the house； trying to look as inconspicuous as any two hundred and three…pound woman in orange polyester pants could。 When she reached the gates she saw that there was a car parked in the driveway； twenty yards inside the gates； its trunk open。 There was no sign of anyone loading or unloading。 She watched from the street for a minute or two； her courage alternately rising then failing her。 She couldn't just go up to the gate and ring the bell。 What would she say？ Hello； I'm Todd's Number One Fan； and I was wondering if he was feeling okay？ Ridiculous！ They'd think she was a stalker and have her arrested。 In fact they might be watching her right now； on a hidden camera： calling the police。
She stood there； quietly cursing herself for not having thought this through properly before she came up here。 She didn't know whether to stand her ground； and make the best of this nightmarish situation； or attempt to casually slip away。
Then a door slammed； somewhere out of sight。 She wanted to make a run for it； but she too far from the car to make a quick retreat。 All she could do was stand there and hope to God there was nobody looking at the security monitors at that particular moment。
Now came the sound of somebody whistling； and seconds later the whistler himself stepped into view。 Tammy recognized him instantly。 It was Marco Caputo； Todd's assistant and bodyguard。 She'd encountered the man twice before； once at the premiere party for The Burning Year； and the second time in Las Vegas； when Todd had been named Actor of the Year at ShoWest。 She'd very politely presented her credentials as the President of the Appreciation Society； and politely asked Caputo if she could have a minute to talk with Todd。 On both occasions he'd been rude to her。 The second time； in fact； he'd called her 'a crazy bitch'； which she'd plained to Maxine Frizelle about。 Maxine had apologized in a halfhearted way and said it would never happen again； but Tammy wasn't about to put Caputo's temper to the test a third time； especially under these dubious circumstances。
Before he could look up and see her she backed off into the thicket of blackberry bushes that grew unchecked on the other side of the street。 She kept her eyes on him at all times； he was too busy with his present labors to notice her