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〃Yeah： Lunch。 He got hit by a dirt bike。〃
Mr。 Gash thought the bum seemed oddly at ease； being interrogated by a stranger with a handgun。
〃You didn't answer my question； pops。 Where'd you e from？〃
The bum held up the book。 〃You should read this。〃
〃What is it？〃 Mr。 Gash said。
〃''The edians。 By Graham Greene。〃
〃Never heard of him。〃
〃He would have enjoyed meeting you。〃
〃The hell's that supposed to mean？〃 Mr。 Gash took two steps toward the car。 He was creeped out by the guy's attitude； the nonchalant way he handled the dead opossum。
The bum said； 〃I'll loan you my copy。〃
Mr。 Gash got in his car and started the engine。 The bum came closer。
〃Stop right there； pops。〃 Mr。 Gash； whipping out the semiautomatic。 The guy stopped。 His weird red iris was aimed up toward the tree…tops； while his normal eye regarded Mr。 Gash with a blank and unnerving indifference。
Mr。 Gash waggled the gun barrel and said； 〃You never saw me； understand？〃
〃Sure。〃
〃Or the car。〃
〃Fine。〃
〃The fuck are you staring at？〃
There it was again…that toothpaste…mercial smile。
〃Nice hair；〃 the bum said to Mr。 Gash。
〃I ought to kill you； pops。 Just for that I ought to shoot your sorry homeless ass 。。。 〃
But the bum in the homemade checkered skirt turned away。 Toting his paperback book and his roadkill opossum； he slowly made his way into the pines； as if Mr。 Gash wasn't there； wasn't pointing a loaded gun at his back； threatening to blow him away on the count of six。
Mr。 Gash sped off； burning rubber。 What a motherfreaking nutcase！ he thought。 I hate this place and I hate this job。 A whole goddamn island full of troublemakers！
Mr。 Gash turned on the tape and punched the rewind button。
Very soon； he reminded himself。 Then I get to go home。
20
The first few times Twilly and Desie made love； McGuinn paid no attention； just curled up on the floor and snoozed。 Then one night…the night they freed Palmer…the dog suddenly displayed a rambunctious interest in what was happening up on the mattress。 Desie was on the verge of what promised to be a memorable moment when the bed frame heaved violently； and Twilly let out a groan that was notably devoid of rapture。 All movement ceased； and the springs fell dolefully silent。 Desie felt hot liver…biscuit breath on her cheeks and a crushing weight upon her chest。 By the quavering glow of the motel…room television； she saw that the Labrador had leapt upon Twilly's bare back and planted himself there； all 128 pounds。 That alone would have distracted Twilly （who was nothing if not focused while in Desie's embrace）； but the dog had made himself impossible to ignore by clamping his jaws to the base of Twilly's neck； as if snatching an unsuspecting jackrabbit。
〃Bad boy；〃 Twilly scolded through clenched teeth。
McGuinn was not biting hard； and he didn't seem angry or even agitated。 He was； however； intent。
〃Bad dog；〃 Twilly tried again。
Desie whispered； 〃I think he's feeling left out。〃
〃What do you suggest？〃
〃Are you hurt？〃
〃Only my concentration；〃 Twilly said。
Desie released the headboard and slipped her arms around Twilly's shoulders。 She hooked her fingertips inside the Labrador's cheeks and tugged gently。 McGuinn pliantly let go。 Ears pricked in curiosity； the huge dog stared down at Desie。 She could hear his tail thwumping cheerfully against Twilly's thighs。
〃Good boy；〃 Twilly said； the words muffled by Desie's right breast。 〃Wanna go for a w…a…l…k？〃
McGuinn scrambled off the bed and bounded to the door。 Desie used a corner of the top sheet to sop the dog slobber from Twilly's neck； which also featured a detailed imprint of canine dentition。
〃No bleeding；〃 Desie reported。
〃How about hickeys？〃
〃Maybe he was having a bad dream。〃
〃Or a really good one。〃
They tried again later； after McGuinn's walk。 They waited until they heard him snoring on the carpet near the television。 This time it was Twilly whose promising climax got thwarted…the dog flew in out of nowhere； knocking the wind out of Twilly； and knocking Twilly out of Desie。
〃Bad boy；〃 Twilly rasped。 He was highly annoyed。 〃You're a bad； bad boy。 A rotten； miserable； worthless boy。〃
〃He's biting your neck again！〃
〃He certainly is。〃
〃Maybe I'm making too much noise when we do it；〃 Desie said。 〃Maybe he thinks you're hurting me。〃
〃No excuses。 He's not a puppy anymore。〃
But the more strenuously Desie tried to prize open the dog's jaws； the more intractable his grip became。 To McGuinn it was a new game； and Labradors loved to play games。
〃Well； I intend to get some rest；〃 Twilly said。 〃If the dumb bastard doesn't let go of me by morning； I'm killing him。〃
And to sleep Twilly went； a jumbo…sized Labrador retriever attached to his neck。 Soon the dog was sleeping； too； as placidly as if he'd dozed off with his favorite rubber ball in his mouth。 Desie lay rigid in the bed； listening to both of them enjoy a deep； restful slumber。 She thought： So this is my status at age thirty…two and a half…alone with a kinky dog and my kidnapper…lover in a twenty…nine…dollar motel room in Fort Pierce； Florida。 What interesting choices I've made！ Roll the highlights； please； starting with untrustworthy Gorbak Didovlic； the not…so…gifted NBA rookie； brilliant Andrew Beck； the self…perforating producer of deceptive political mercials； slick…talking Palmer Stoat； the tiresomely devious husband whom we dumped only two hours earlier at a Cracker Barrel restaurant off Interstate 95。
And finally young Twilly Spree； who would probably love me faithfully and forever in his own charming adolescent way； but who has no ambition beyond wreaking havoc； and no imaginable future that doesn't include felony prison time。 The man of my dreams！
Fun？ Big fun。 Major adrenaline rush。 Mysteriously wealthy； and other surprises galore。 Then what？ Desie wondered。 Then he'll be gone； of course。
Well； there was still Palmer。 Deceitful asshole though he was； Desie nonetheless had felt a twinge of pity at the sight of him tied up and hooded in the rocking chair。 And the expression on his pie…shaped face when Twilly removed the sweat…stained pillowcase and cut the ropes…a look of malignant contempt； manufactured for Desie's benefit。 See how serious I am！
But he'd take her back in a heartbeat； her husband would。 Palmer required a sharp…looking wife； one who would put up with his conveniently ambiguous travel plans and his unsportsmanlike hunting trips and all that Polaroid weirdness in the bedroom。 Palmer knew he had a good thing in Desie； and he also knew what divorces cost。 So； sure； he'd take her back。
That would be the easiest road for Desie； too； but she couldn't take it。 She would not be able to look at her husband without thinking of tiny orange…striped toads； bulldozed into goop。
Her folks in Atlanta…they'd be glad to have her home for a while。 Mom was busy with her medical practice； but Dad would be retiring soon from Delta。 Maybe I could start back at GSU； Desie thought； finish up on my teaching degree。
Yeah； right。 And afterward I'll move to Appalachia and live in a tin shanty and do volunteer work with the learning disabled。 Who the hell am I kidding？
Twilly stirred when