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〃Where is he now？ What's the best guess？〃
〃No earthly idea； my friend。〃 Dick Artemus was amused by the trooper's straight…faced questions； entertained by the charade。
Jim Tile said； 〃Then there's not much I can do。〃
〃Is that so。〃 The governor； smiling now。 Not the car…lot smile； either； or the campaign smile。 This was the OK…let's…cut…the…bull…shit smile。 〃Look here； Jim； you know damn well what I need you to do。〃
The trooper momentarily glanced away。 Dick Artemus could see the cable…thick cords of his neck go tight。
〃So； tell me。 How is our former governor these days？ And don't say； 'Which one？' You know which one。 The crazy one。 Clinton Tyree。〃
〃I don't know； sir。 I haven't spoken to him in at least a year； probably longer。〃
〃But you do know where to find him？〃
〃No； sir；〃 said Jim Tile。 Technically it was the truth。 He knew how to find the ex…governor； but not where。
Dick Artemus got up； stretched his arms and ambled to the window。 〃The old…timers still talk about him around here。 He wasn't even in office； what； two years； before he disappeared。 And still he's the one they always talk about。 'Where is he？' 'What's he done now？' 'Did they catch him yet？' 'You think he's still alive？' Man； it's the crazy fuckers that always capture the public imagination； huh？ What is old Clint calling himself these days？〃
The black trooper said； 〃I don't know。 I call him Governor。〃
He said it so deadpan that Dick Artemus whipped around。 And what Dick Artemus saw in Jim Tile's expression was worse than distrust； or even disliking。 It was a bloodless and humiliating indifference。
〃Look here； Jim； you were here when it happened。 You were his bodyguard； for God's sake。〃
〃And his friend。〃
〃You bet；〃 said the governor； 〃his friend； of course。 When I say 'crazy；' you know what I mean。 There's good crazy and bad crazy。 And this kid who's hacking up Labrador retrievers to make a political statement； that's the bad kind of crazy。〃
〃I'm sure you'll find him； sir。〃 Jim Tile rose from the chair。 He was several inches taller than Dick Artemus； big hair and all。
But the governor； selling hard； pressed on。 〃Skunk；〃 he said； 〃I believe that's what he calls himself。 Or is it Skink？ See； Lieutenant； I've done my homework。 Because I was as curious as anybody； hearing all this talk； all the rumors。 You know he never even sat for a portrait？ In the whole mansion there's nothing； not a picture or a plaque…nothing…to show he ever lived here。 So hell； yes； I was curious。〃
Jim Tile said； 〃Sir； I'm sorry but I ought to be going。 I teach a DUI school downtown that starts in twenty minutes。〃
〃This'll take only five。〃 Dick Artemus casually sidled in front of the door。 〃This Toad Island bridge； it's a twenty…eight…million…dollar item。 The folks who want those contracts gave quite a bit of money to my campaign。 So it's gonna get done； this damn bridge； one way or another。 You can bet the farm on that。 Now…about this crazy boy； he's got the potential to make some ugly headlines； and that I don't need。 Neither do my loyal friends at the future Shearwater Island resort。
〃But even worse； I get the distinct feeling this boy's whacko behavior has put his own welfare in jeopardy。 This information goes no further than you and me； Lieutenant。 All I'll say is this： Some of the characters involved in this project aren't so nice。 Am I proud to be their choice for governor？〃 Dick Artemus snorted。 〃That's a whole 'nother issue。 But for now； I need to make sure nothing awful happens to this crazy dognapper； because； a； no young man deserves to die over something stupid like this and； b； that would be one ugly headline。 A goddamn nightmare of a headline； can we all agree on that？〃
The trooper said； 〃You really think they'd murder him？〃
〃Fucking A。 And if he's half as crazy as I think； he won't go quietly。 He'll make a big splash； like all these nutty ecoterrorists。 And then Shearwater gets on the front pages； and before long some prick reporter follows the trail of slime directly to yours truly。 Who； by the way； is hoping to be reelected in a couple years。〃
〃Sir； I see your problem；〃 Jim Tile said。
〃Good。〃
〃But he won't do it。 Assuming I can even find him…in a million years I don't think he'd ever agree to help。〃
〃And I think you're wrong。〃 Dick Artemus walked to a maple credenza and picked up a brown office envelope。 Both ends were taped shut。 〃Give this to the former governor； please。 That's all I'm asking； Jim。 Just make sure it reaches him； and then you're free of the whole mess。 Whatever he decides； he decides。 It's all laid out for him in black and white。〃
The governor handed the envelope to the trooper。 〃This is not a request； Lieutenant。〃
〃Yes； sir； I know。 I'll do what I can。〃 Jim Tile spoke with such a blazing lack of enthusiasm that Dick Artemus abandoned his plans for an inducement： A job offer is what he'd been prepared to offer。 An opportunity for the trooper to get off the highway and rest his tired middle…aged butt。 Step out of the hot polyester uniform and into a nice suit。 Return to the governor's mansion and ride security。
But Dick Artemus didn't waste his time trolling the idea by Jim Tile。 He knew a cold customer when he saw one。 The lieutenant would do what he was asked； but he would act strictly out of duty。 Nothing more。 The man had no interest in hitching his future to the governor's star； one…on…one。
〃The truth is；〃 Dick Artemus said； 〃after all I've heard； I'd like to meet your legendary friend someday myself。 Under different circumstances； of course。〃
〃I'll be sure to pass that along。〃
After the trooper was gone； the governor poured himself some fine bourbon and sat back to reflect on simpler times； when the worst thing he had to do was sell cherry…red pinstriping to helpless widows in two…door Corollas。
13
Estella was the name。
〃Would you care for a drink？〃 asked Palmer Stoat。 Then； to the bartender： 〃A vodka martini for my gorgeous guest。〃
The prostitute smiled tolerantly。 〃I remember you； too。〃
〃I'm glad； Estella。〃
〃You were quite the chatty one。〃 She wore a violet cocktail dress and matching stockings。 〃You told me about a fishing trip with George Bush。〃
〃Yes； that's right；〃 Stoat said。 〃And you said he was the most underrated president since Hoover。〃
〃He got a bum rap in the media； Bush did。 Because he wasn't a smoothy； some TV glamour boy with big teeth。〃 Estella's lipstick was a shade or two darker than her cocktail dress。 She had nice skin and wore little makeup。 Her hair； however； was myriad shades of blond。 〃I would've done him for free；〃 she confided； 〃just to say thanks； Mr。 mander in Chief； for the Gulf War。 He did a helluva number on those shitbird Iraqis。〃
Stoat said； 〃Plus he's a very nice guy。 Very down…to…earth。〃 Estella slid closer to the bar。 〃I saw him lose a hundred…pound tarpon at the boat；〃 said Stoat。 〃The line snagged on the propeller and that's all she wrote。 And he was such a damn good sport about it。〃
〃Doesn't surprise me one bit。〃 The prostitute plucked the cigar from Stoat's mouth and took a couple of dainty puffs。 〃How about President Reagan？〃 she asked。 〃Ever meet him？〃
Man oh man； thought Stoat。 This i