按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
ae's father went on a minor rampage to the authorities。 And while he ultimately failed in his efforts to see Twilly Spree prosecuted； he succeeded in convincing his daughter that she had taken up with a homicidal madman。 For a while Twilly missed Mac's pany； but he took satisfaction in knowing he'd made his point emphatically with her father； that the man definitely got the connection between his own vanities and the Swiss…cheese holes that appeared in his airplane。
And； really； that was the most Twilly ever hoped for； that the bastards would get the message。 Most of them did。
But not the litterbug。 Twilly decided he'd been too subtle with Palmer Stoat； the man needed things spelled out plainly； possibly more than once。 For days Twilly tailed him； and wherever Stoat went； he continued to toss garbage out the car window。 Twilly was weary of picking up after him。
One afternoon Stoat and his wife returned from a senator's wedding in Jacksonville and found a note under a windshield wiper of the Range Rover。 The note said： 〃Quit trashing the planet； fuckwad。〃 Stoat gave a puzzled shrug and showed Desie。 Then he crumpled the note and dropped it on the pavement of the parking garage。
When Stoat sat down in his sport…utility vehicle； he was aghast to find it full of dung beetles。 One pullulating mass covered the tops of his shoes； while a second wave advanced up the steering column。 Massing on the dashboard was a third platoon； shiny brown shells clacking together like ball bearings。
Despite appearances； dung beetles actually are harmless； providing a unique and invaluable service at the cellar of the food chain； that is； the prodigious consumption of animal waste。 Worshiped by ancient Egyptians； the insects are almost as dearly regarded by modern cattle ranchers。 In all there are more than seven thousand known species of dung beetles； without which the earth would literally smother in excrement。 This true fact would not have been properly appreciated by Palmer Stoat； who couldn't tell a ladybug from a cockroach （which is what he feared had infested his Range Rover）。 He yelped and slapped at his thighs and burst from the vehicle as if shot from a cannon。
Desie； who had been standing in wait for her husband to unlock the passenger door； observed his athletic exit with high interest。 In a flash she produced her cellular phone； but Palmer whisked it from her hand。 No cops！ he exclaimed。 I don't want to read about this in the newspapers。 Desie wondered what made him think such nonsense would rate press attention。
On his own phone Palmer Stoat summoned an exterminator； who used a canister…styled vacuum to remove the bugs from the Range Rover…a total approaching three thousand； had anyone endeavored to count them。 To Desie； they sounded like pebbles being sucked through the hose。 After consulting an illustrated field guide； the exterminator correctly identified the intruders。
〃A what？〃 Desie asked。
〃Dung beetle。 A mon bovine dung beetle。〃
〃Let me guess；〃 Desie said dryly； 〃how they get their name。〃
〃Yes； it's true；〃 the exterminator acknowledged。
Stoat scowled。 〃What're you saying？ You saying they eat shit？〃
And still he missed the whole damn point。
The very next afternoon； on his way to the driving range； Stoat tossed a Kentucky Fried Chicken box。 At the time； he was stopped for the drawbridge on the Seventeenth Street Causeway in Fort Lauderdale。 Stoat casually leaned across the front seat and heaved the chicken box through the passenger window and over the bridge railing。 Waiting three cars back in traffic； Twilly Spree watched the whole thing； saw the cardboard box and fluttering napkin and gnawed…on drumsticks and coleslaw cup tumble downward； plopping into the Intracoastal Waterway。 That's when Twilly realized that Palmer Stoat was either unfathomably arrogant or unfathomably dim； and in either case was in need of special instruction。
On the morning of May 2； the maid walked into the bedroom and announced that Boodle； the dog； was missing。
〃Oh； that's not possible；〃 said Stoat。
Desie pulled on some clothes and tennis shoes and hurried out to search the neighborhood。 She was sobbing when she returned； and said to her husband： 〃This is all your fault。〃
He tried to hug her but she shook him off。 〃Honey； please；〃 he said。 〃Settle down。〃
〃Somebody took him…〃
〃You don't know that。〃
〃…and it's all your fault。〃
〃Desie； now。〃
It was his fault that she was so jittery。 In retrospect； he shouldn't have shown her what had been done to the trophy heads in the den。 Yet at the time Stoat was half…wondering if the furtive vandal might be Desie herself； maybe she'd gone postal on him。 She definitely was no fan of his big…game hobby…he remembered the grief she'd given him about the rhinoceros kill。 And； in truth； it wasn't difficult to envision his wife perched on the library ladder and using one of the sterling lobster forks…a wedding gift from the pari…mutuel industry…to meticulously remove the simulated eyeballs from his hunting trophies。
But Desie couldn't have been the one who had done it。 Palmer Stoat knew by her reaction to the macabre pentagram on the desk and the wall of eyeless animal faces。 Desie had paled and run from the room。 Later she implored her husband to hire some security guards to watch the house； she didn't feel safe there anymore。 Stoat said； Don't worry； it's just some local weirdos。 Kids from the neighborhood breaking in for kicks； he told her。 But privately he suspected that both the glass eyeball episode and the desecration of the BMW were connected to his lobbying business； some disgruntled； semi…twisted shithead of a client 。。。 or possibly even a jealous petitor。 So Stoat had the locks on the house changed； got all new phone numbers； and found an electronics dweeb who came through and swept the place for listening devices。 For good measure； he also polygraphed the maid； the gardener and the part…time cook。 Desie made her husband promise to set the alarm system every night from then on； and he had done so faithfully 。。。
With the exception of the previous night； when he'd gone to a Republican fund…raiser and gotten so plastered that a cab had to carry him home。 The time was 3：00 a。m。； an hour at which Stoat could barely identify his own house； much less fit the new key in the door； typing a nonsequential five…digit code on the alarm panel required infinitely too much dexterity。
Still； he couldn't believe somebody had snuck in behind him and grabbed the Labrador。 For one thing； Boodle was a hefty load…128 pounds。 He had been trained at no small expense to sit； fetch； shake； lie down； heel； and not lope off with strangers。 To forcibly abduct the dog； Stoat surmised； would have required more than one able…bodied man。
Then Desie reminded him that Boodle wasn't functioning at full strength。 Days earlier he had been rushed into emergency surgery after slurping five of the glass eyeballs from Stoat's desktop。 Stoat didn't notice the eyes were missing until the taxidermy man came to repair the mounts。 Soon afterward Boodle grew listless and stopped eating。 An X ray at the veterinarian's office revealed the glass orbs； lodged in a cluster at the a