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sing had e to grief） without getting ditched himself If he made it back to the access road； he might widen his horizons a trifle。 The idea of the Mass Pike surfaced briefly in his mind as he swung open the door of the boss's Hummer and slid behind the wheel。 There was a lot of western America down 1…90。 A lot of places to hide。
The stench of stale farts and chilly ethyl alcohol struck him like a slap as he swung the door closed。 Pearly！ Goddam Pearly！ In the excitement； he had forgotten all about that little motherfucker。
Freddy turned； raising the carbine but Pearly was still out cold。 No need to use another bullet。 He could just tip Perlmutter out into the snow。 If he was lucky； Pearly would freeze to death without ever waking up。 Him； and his little sideki…
Pearly wasn't sleeping； though。 Nor out cold。 Nor in a a； not even that。 Pearly was dead。 And he was 。 。 。 shrunken； somehow。 Almost mummified。 His cheeks were drawn in； hollow； wrinkled。 The sockets of his eyes were deep divots； as if behind the thin veils of his closed lids the eyeballs had fallen into what was now a hollow bucket。 And he was tilted strangely against the passenger door； one leg raised； almost crossed over the other。 It was as if he had died trying to perform the ever…popular one…cheek…sneak。 His fatigue pants were now dark； the muted colors turned to mud； and the seat under him was wet。 The fingers of the stain spreading toward Freddy were red。
'What the f…'
From the back seat there arose an ear…splitting yammering； it was like listening to a powerful stereo turned rapidly up to full volume。 Freddy caught movement from the er of his right eye。 A creature beyond belief appeared in the rearview mirror。 It tore off Freddy's ear and then struck at his cheek； punched through into his mouth； and latched onto his jaw at the inner gumline。 And then Archie Perlmutter's shit…weasel tore off the side of Freddy's face as a hungry man might tear a drumstick off a chicken。
Freddy shrieked and discharged his weapon into the passenger door of the Hummer。 He got an arm up and tried to shove the thing off； his fingers slipped on its slick； newborn skin。 The weasel withdrew； tossed its head back； and swallowed what it had tom off like a parrot with a piece of raw steak。 Freddy flailed for the driver's…side doorhandle and found it； but before he could yank it up the thing struck again； this time burying its mouth in the muscular flesh where Freddy's neck and shoulder merged。 There was a vast jet of blood as his jugular opened； it spurted up to the Humvee's roof； then began to drip back like red rain。
Freddy's feet jittered； bopping the Humvee's wide brake in a rapid tapdance。 The creature in the back seat drew back again； seemed to consider； then slithered snakelike over Freddy's shoulder。 It dropped into his lap。
Freddy screamed once as the weasel tore off his plumbing 。 。 。 and then he screamed no more。
32
Henry sat twisted around in the back seat of the other Humvee； watching as the figure in the vehicle parked behind him jerked back and forth behind the wheel。 Henry was glad of the thickly falling snow； equally glad of the blood that sprayed up； striking the windshield of the other Humvee； partially obscuring the view。
He could see all too well as it was。
At last the figure behind the wheel stopped moving and fell sideways。 A bulky shadow rose over it； seeming to hulk in triumph。 Henry knew what it was； he'd seen one on Jonesy's bed； back at Hole in the Wall。 One thing he could see was that there was a broken window in the Humvee which had been chasing them。 He doubted if the thing had much in the way of intelligence； but how much would it need to register fresh air？
They don't like the cold。 It kills them。
Yes； indeed it did。 But Henry had no intention of leaving it at that； and not just because the Reservoir was so close he could hear the water lapping on the rocks。 Something had run up an extremely high debt； and only he was left to present the bill。 Payback's a bitch； as Jonesy had so often observed； and payback time had arrived。
He leaned over the seat。 No weapons there。 He leaned over further and thumbed open the glove partment。 Nothing in there but a litter of invoices； gasoline receipts； and a tattered paperback titled How to Be Your Own Best Friend。
Henry opened the door； got out into the snow 。 。 。 and his feet immediately flew out from under him。 He went on his butt with a thump and scraped his back on the Hummer's high splashboard。 Fuck me Freddy。 He got up； slipped again； grabbed the top of the open door； and managed to stay afoot this time。 He shuffled his feet around to the back of the vehicle he'd e in； never taking his eyes from its twin； parked behind。 He could still see the thing inside； thrashing and shuffling； dining on the driver。
'Stay where you are； beautiful；' Henry said； and began to laugh。 The laughter sounded crazy as bell； but that didn't stop him。 'Lay a few eggs。 I am the eggman； after all。 Your friendly neighborhood eggman。 Or how about a copy of How to Be Your Own Best Friend？ I got one。'
Laughing so hard now he could barely speak。 Sliding in the wet and treacherous snow like a kid let out of school and on his way to the nearest sledding hill。 Holding onto the flank of the Hummer as best he could； except there was really nothing to hold onto once you were south of the doors。 Watching the thing shift and move 。 。 。 and then he couldn't see it anymore。 Oh…oh。 Where the hell had it gotten to？ In one of Jonesy's dopey movies； this is where the scary music would start； Henry thought。 Attack of the Killer Shit… Weasels。 That got him laughing again。
He was around to the back of the vehicle now。 There was a button you could push to unlatch the rear window 。 。 。 unless； of course； it was locked。 Probably wasn't； though。 Hadn't Owen gotten into the back this way？ Henry couldn't remember。 Couldn't for the life of him。 He was clearly not being his own best friend。
Still cackling； fresh tears gushing out of his eyes； he thumbed the button and the back window popped open。 Henry yanked it wider and looked in。 Guns； thank God。 Army carbines like the kind that Owen had taken on his last patrol。 Henry grabbed one and examined it。 Safety； check。 Fire…selection switch； check。 Clip marked U。S。 ARMY 5。56 CAL 120 RNDS； check。
'So simple even a byrum can do it；' Henry said； and laughed some more。 He bent over； holding his stomach and slipping around in the slop； trying not to fall again。 His legs ached； his back ached； his heart ached most of all 。 。 。 and still he laughed。 He was the eggman； he was the eggman； he was the laughing hyena。
He walked around to the driver's side of Kurtz's Humvee； gun raised （safety in what he devoutly hoped was the OFF position）； spooky music playing in his head； but still laughing。 There was the gasoline hatch； no mistaking that。 But where was Gamera； The Terror from Beyond Space？
As if it had heard his thought … and； Henry realized； that was perfectly likely … the weasel smashed headfirst against the rear window。 The one that was； thankfully； unbroken。 Its head was smeared with blood； hair； and bits of flesh。 Its drea