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For a moment Egwene stared at her silently。 〃You will not let go of this； will you？ Very well。 You lied to me。。。〃
〃It was not a lie；〃 she muttered。 〃Not exactly。〃
The other woman ignored her interruption。 〃。。。 And you lie to yourself。 Do you remember what you made me drink the last time I lied to you？〃 Suddenly a cup was in her hand； full of viscous sickly green liquid； it looked as if it had been scooped from a scummy stagnant pond。 〃The only time I ever lied to you。 The memory of that taste was an effective discouragement。 If you cannot tell the truth even to yourself。。。〃
Nynaeve took a step back before she could stop herself。 Boiled catfern and powdered mavinsleaf； her tongue writhed at just the thought。 〃I did not really lie； actually。〃 Why was she making excuses？ 〃I just didn't tell the whole truth。〃 I am the Wisdom！ I was the Wisdom； that ought to count for something still。 〃You cannot really think。。。〃 Just tell her。 You're not the child here； and you certainly are not going to drink。 〃Egwene； I …〃 Egwene pushed the cup nearly under her nose； she could smell the acrid tang。 〃All right；〃 she said hastily。 This can't be happening！ But she could not take her eyes off that brimming cup； and she could not stop the words tumbling out。 〃Sometimes I try to make things look better for myself than they were。 Sometimes。 But never anything important。 I've never … lied … about anything important。 Never； I swear。 Only small things。〃 The cup vanished； and Nynaeve heaved a sigh of relief。 Fool； fool woman！ She couldn't have made you drink it！ What is wrong with you？
〃What we have to decide；〃 Egwene said as if nothing at all had happened； 〃is who to tell。 Moiraine certainly has to know； and Rand； but if everyone hears of it。。。 The Aiel are peculiar； about Aes Sedai no less than anything else。 I think they'll follow Rand as He Who es With the Dawn in spite of anything； but once they learn the White Tower is against him； maybe they won't be so fervent。〃
〃They'll learn sooner or later；〃 Nynaeve muttered。 She could not have made me drink it！
〃Later better than sooner； Nynaeve。 So don't you go bursting out in a temper and telling the Wise Ones about this at our next meeting。 In fact； it would be best if you didn't mention this visit to the Tower at all。 That way maybe you can keep it secret。〃
〃I am not a fool；〃 Nynaeve said stiffly； and felt a slow burn when Egwene quirked that eyebrow at her again。 She was not about to bring the visit up with the Wise Ones。 Not because it was easier defying them behind their backs。 Nothing like that。 And she was not trying to put a good face on things。 It was not fair that Egwene could leap about Tel'aran'rhiod however she wanted； while she had to put up with lectures and bullying。
〃I know you are not；〃 Egwene said。 〃Unless you let your temper get the better of you。 You need to hold your temper and keep your wits about you if you're right about the Forsaken； especially Moghedien。〃 Nynaeve glowered at her； opening her mouth to say that she could too keep her temper and she would smack Egwene's ears if she thought differently； but the other woman gave her no chance。 〃We must find that gathering of Blue sisters； Nynaeve。 If they oppose Elaida； maybe … just maybe … they will support Rand the way Siuan did。 Was a town mentioned； or a village？ A country； even？〃
〃I think。。。 I cannot remember。〃 She struggled to take the defensive note out of her voice。 Light； I confessed everything； made a fool of myself and it's only made things worse！ 〃I will keep trying。〃
〃Good。 We must find them； Nynaeve。〃 For a moment Egwene studied her； while she refused to repeat herself。 〃Nynaeve； take care concerning Moghedien。 Do not go rushing off like a bear in spring just because she got away from you in Tanchico。〃
〃I am not a fool； Egwene；〃 Nynaeve said carefully。 It was frustrating having to hold her temper； but if all Egwene would do was ignore it or scold her； there was nothing to be gained beyond looking a bigger ninnyhead than she did already。
〃I know。 You said that。 Just be sure you remember it。 Be careful。〃 Egwene did not fade away this time； she vanished； as suddenly as Birgitte。
Nynaeve stared at the spot where she had been； running through her head all the things she should have said。 Finally she realized that she could stand there all night； she was repeating herself； and the time for saying anything was past。 Grumbling under her breath； she stepped out of Tel'aran'rhiod； back to her bed in Sienda。
Egwene's eyes popped open in near total darkness； broken only by a little moonlight streaming in through the smoke hole。 She was glad to be under a pile of blankets； the fire was out； and freezing cold filled the tent。 Her breath turned to mist in front of her face。 Without raising her head； she scanned the interior。 No Wise Ones。 She was still alone。
That was her biggest fear on these solitary excursions into Tel'aran'rhiod： returning to find Amys or one of the others waiting for her。 Well； maybe not her biggest fear … the dangers in the World of Dreams were every bit as great as she had told Nynaeve … but a big one nonetheless。 It was not punishment that frightened her； not the sort that Bair doled out。 Had she wakened to find a Wise One staring at her； she would have accepted such gladly； but Amys had told her near the beginning that if she entered Tel'aran'rhiod without one of them acpanying her； they would send her away； refuse to teach her any longer。 That made her quail far more than anything else they could do。 But even so； she had to push ahead。 As rapidly as they taught； they were not rapid enough。 She wanted to know now； to know everything。
Channeling； she lit her lamp and put flames in the firepit； nothing remained for them to burn； but she tied the weave off。 She lay there； watching her breath mist in front of her mouth； and waited for warmth enough to dress。 It was late； but perhaps Moiraine would still be awake。
What had happened with Nynaeve still amazed her。 I think she'd actually have drunk； if I had pressed her。 She had been so afraid that Nynaeve would learn that she certainly did not have the Wise Ones' permission to jaunt about in the World of Dreams alone； so sure that the flush of embarrassment had given her away； that all she could think of was keeping Nynaeve from speaking； keeping her from winkling out the truth。 And she had been so sure that Nynaeve would find out anyway … the woman was quite capable of turning her in and saying it was for her own good … that all she could do was talk； try to keep the focus on whatever Nynaeve was doing wrong。 No matter how angry Nynaeve made her； she could not seem to bring up a shout。 And with all of that； somehow； she had gained the upper hand。
e to think of it； Moiraine seldom raised her voice； and when she did she was least effective in having what she wanted done。 It had been so even before she began behaving so strangely with Rand。 The Wise Ones never yelled at anyone； either … except each other； sometimes … and for all their grumping about the chiefs no longer listening； they still seemed to get their way much mo