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〃A bunch； I guess。〃
〃No。 Just once。 Sometimes I wonder what would have happened； though； if he'd had a few more shots before Momma came home that night。 What if he'd made himself sick and passed out？ What if Momma could tell somehow that he'd drugged us？〃
〃It sounds like Bobby was pretty much unstoppable。〃
〃Maybe。〃 Trevor shrugged。 〃But maybe one more shot would've knocked him out。 Maybe Momma would have taken me and Didi away。〃
〃I guess it's possible。〃 More than anything； Zach wanted Trevor to put an arm around his shoulders； wanted to lean into Trevor's solid forting warmth。 But he wasn't sure if Trevor was mad at him。 〃I used to hope the same thing when my parents would go on a binge；〃 he said。 〃I'd think； Just a couple more drinks and they'll pass out。 They'll shut up。 They won't hit me anymore。 But once they got on a tear； they usually stayed on it for a while。〃
〃And you caught the worst of it。〃
〃Yeah； unless they had something better to do。〃
〃Then how…〃 Trevor turned to Zach； spread his hands wide。 The expression on his face was half disgust； half genuine bewilderment。 〃How can you drink now？ You saw what it did to them…how can you do it too？〃
〃Simple。 It doesn't do the same things to me that it did to them。〃
〃But…〃
〃But nothing。 Remember what you said last night？ The still doesn't have a choice about making liquor； the choice is up to the person who drinks it？ Drinking didn't make my parents act like that。 They were like that。 I'm not。〃
〃So where does that leave my father？〃 Trevor's voice was quiet； but deadly。
〃Well 。 。 。〃 This was the all…important question； Zach sensed。 If he answered it wrong； he could forget about drinking around Trevor…which meant he could forget about Trevor； because he wasn't going to start letting someone else do his thinking for him。 And if he answered it too wrong； he wondered if he might see his blood decorating Trevor's knuckles again。
〃Maybe Bobby was trying to tamp down his anger；〃 he said。 〃Maybe he was trying to make himself pass out before your mom came home。〃
〃You think so？〃
He wants to believe that。 Is it cruel to encourage him？ I don't think so； hell； I'd want to believe it if I were him。 It might even be true。 〃I wouldn't be surprised；〃 said Zach。 〃You know he loved you…〃
〃No I don't。 I know he loved them。 He took them with him。 He left me here。〃
〃Bullshit！〃 Zach didn't care about giving the right answer now； this line of reasoning made him too angry to worry about getting hit。 〃He wasted everything they ever could have done； could have been。 The only life he had a right to take was his own。 He robbed them。〃
〃But if you love someone…〃
〃Then you want them to be alive。 What's to love about a cold； dead body？〃 Zach caught himself before he went too far on that track。 〃Bobby fucked up your life pretty good； but at least he let you keep it。 He must have loved you best。 If you were dead； twenty years of drawings never could've existed； and I couldn't be loving you； and you couldn't even be wondering about all this…〃
〃What？〃
〃I said； you couldn't even be wondering…〃
〃No。 The other part。〃
〃I couldn't be loving you；〃 Zach repeated softly。 The words felt so strange in his mouth； they had slipped out before he had even known he was going to say them。 But he didn't want to take them back。
〃I love you too；〃 said Trevor。 He leaned over and kissed Zach full on the mouth。 Zach's eyes widened and he tried to pull away； but Trevor held him tight。 He felt Trevor's tongue sliding over his lips； worrying at the corners； and finally he gave up and opened his mouth to Trevor。 They had already exchanged most of their other bodily fluids； he supposed a little puke wouldn't make much difference。
At last Trevor relented and just held him。 Zach felt his shakes beginning to recede； the raw burn of bile fading from his throat。
〃So you're really on the run？〃 Trevor asked after a while。
Zach nodded。
〃And you told Kinsey and Terry you were from New York？〃
〃Well； I don't think Kinsey believes me。 But that's what I told them； yeah。〃
〃You want to talk about it？〃
〃Could we get in the car first？〃
〃Sure。〃 Trevor reached for the keys； and Zach surrendered them without argument。 〃We ought to get going anyway； before those rednecks decide to e back and kick our asses。〃
Zach laughed。 〃Hell； if they did； Kinsey could just e out brandishing his casserole and scare 'em off。〃
Trevor got a feel for the Mustang quickly。 He had once had a brief job driving cars from place to place； reasons unspecified and questions not encouraged by the management。 Most of them had been scary old junkers or boring Japanese cracker…boxes； but this car was fun to drive。 Its engine was loud but smooth； and its wheels chewed up the road like a vicious little wildcat worrying a blacksnake。
There was a sour taste in his mouth like fruit juice gone bad； the ghost of Zach's recycled wine。 To Trevor it wasn't much different from having the flavor of Zach's sweat or spit or e on his lips。 If you loved someone； he thought； you should know their body inside and out。 You should be willing to taste it； breathe it； wallow in it。
He got off Kinsey's road； found his way to the highway； then took a side road that wandered off into the country。
〃I like the way you drive；〃 said Zach。
〃What do you mean？〃
〃Fast。〃
〃Just talk to me。〃
〃It has to do with puters；〃 Zach warned。
〃I figured as much；〃 Trevor said darkly。
They drove for an hour or more around the outskirts of Missing Mile； past dark fields； deserted churches and railroad crossings； small neat houses lit warm against the night。 They passed the occasional bright store or honkytonk joint； swerved to miss the occasional wet splay of roadkill on the hot blacktop。
Zach told his tale without interruption from Trevor； save for an occasional question。 When he finished； Trevor's brain was spinning with unfamiliar terminology； with arcane concepts he had never believed possible； but many of which Zach claimed he had already done。
〃You mean you could get information about anybody… and change it？ Could you get information about me？〃
〃Sure。〃
〃How？〃
〃Well； let's see。〃 Zach ticked off possibilities on his fingers。 〃Do you have any credit cards？〃
〃No。〃
〃Ever had a phone in your name？〃
〃No。〃
〃How about a police record？〃
〃Well 。 。 。 yeah。〃 Trevor shuddered at the memory。 〃I got picked up for vagrancy once in Georgia。 Spent the night in jail。〃
〃I could get that easy。 Erase it； too。 With your Social Security number I could probably get your school and social…services records。 And your standing with the IRS； of course。〃
〃I doubt the IRS has ever heard of me。〃
Zach laughed softly。 〃Don't bet on it； boyfriend。〃
They took a roundabout route back to Violin Road。 By the time Trevor parked the car behind the house； it felt very late。 The clouds had blown over and the sky was a brilliant inverted bowl of stars。 Zach saw the Big Dipper； the Little Dipper； and the faint soft skirl of the Milky Way； which pretty much exhausted his store of astronomical knowl