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pain。 If he wanted his nipples sore； Trevor didn't mind obliging him。 They were pliant and tender between his teeth； flavored with the salt of Zach's sweat and the faintly spicy taste of Zach's skin。
〃ARRR 。。。 ah 。。。〃 Zach groped for Trevor's fingers。 〃Put your hand on my dick。 Please。〃
His dick？ The term jarred Trevor for an instant； reminded him of the Boys' Home； snickers and whispers in health class； scrawled graffiti on toilet walls。 It sounded like a word R。 Crumb would use； Trevor thought irrelevantly…though Crumb drew penises rather more often than he mentioned them； with plenty of unsightly hairs； popping veins； and oozing e…drops。 He realized he was terrified again； but now it was like being on a carnival ride that had started looping out of control： you couldn't stop； so you just had to hang on tight and lean with the curves。
Zach had grabbed his hand and was pushing it down； making a weird； urgent growling sound in his throat。 He wore only a pair of skimpy black briefs made of some soft silken material。 Trevor's fingertips skated over the cloth； and his hand closed on the warm pulsing shape beneath。 He rubbed his face over Zach's ribs and the hollow of his stomach； pressed his lips against the silky cloth。 He heard Zach's breath sobbing in and out。
Trevor hooked his thumbs into the elastic of the briefs and tugged； and Zach managed to squirm out of them without untangling his hands from their grip in Trevor's hair。 Zach's penis…Trevor could not quite bring himself to think of it as his dick…bobbed up and brushed softly against Trevor's lips。 Trevor cupped his hands around it； felt Zach's heartbeat throbbing between his palms。 The skin of the shaft was textured； slightly rippled beneath the surface。 The head was as smooth as satin； as rose petals。 Trevor rubbed his thumb across it； squeezed gently； heard Zach suck air in through his teeth and moan as he let it out。 He could see blood suffusing the tissue just beneath the translucent skin； a deep dusky rose delicately purpled at the edges； crowned with a single dewy pearl of e。 It was as intimate； as raw as holding someone's heart in his hands。
Zach's body shifted beneath him。 Zach's legs wrapped loosely around him。 Out of the corner of his eye he saw Zach arching his back off the mattress； rubbing thick handfuls of Trevor's hair up across his belly and chest。
All at once it hit him： this was power too； just as surely as smashing your fist into someone's face； just as surely as putting a hammer through someone's skull。 The power to make another person crazy with pleasure instead of fear and pain； to have every cell in another person's body at your thrall。
And this way； the person was still alive when it was over。
〃Please suck my dick；〃 Zach said faintly。
〃I…〃 Trevor searched for the right thing to say。 〃I'd love to；〃 he whispered at last； and slid his hands under Zach's butt； and very carefully took Zach's penis deep into his mouth。 It seemed to nestle against his tongue and the walls of his throat as if it had been made to fit there。 He slid one hand up between Zach's legs； cupped his balls and felt them draw tight； felt the skin shivering； seething。 Zach was tossing his head and moaning； trying not to thrust too hard。 Trevor grabbed his bucking hips and swallowed him deeper； willing his throat muscles to open； to liquefy。 He almost gagged； but forced the reflex down。 He wanted this in him； this taste； this chance。
Chance？ he thought； what do I mean by chance？ But before he had time to ponder it； Zach screamed 〃OHHHH； TREV！〃 and snarled his fingers in Trevor's hair so hard the strands felt as if they would rip out of his scalp； and his whole thrumming body surged forward and seemed to pour its energy into Trevor。 He felt it spilling hot over his tongue and down the back of his throat； crackling from Zach's fingertips into Trevor's temples and straight through his brain； even emanating from Zach's solar plexus in steady waves。 His body was like some kind of big nervous battery。
Trevor kept sucking until Zach's penis was soft and slippery in his mouth； until his lips were buried in the crisp； glossy thicket of hair that stood out so black against the juncture of Zach's pale thighs。 The taste in Trevor's mouth was much like his own； but had its distinct notes： slightly herbal； slightly peppery。 He wondered if his own e would poison Zach's bloodstream with caffeine。
But Zach's body was slowly relaxing into him； twining round him。 Trevor slid up on the mattress so that Zach could lie fortably against him。 His fingers traced patterns in the sweat trickling along Zach's spine。 He kissed Zach's eyelids and the faint dark smudges beneath his eyes； savoring the tender crepey texture of the skin against his lips； the feathery brush of the lashes； the small secret motions of the eyeball。 He kissed the graceful arcs of Zach's eyebrows； the slope of his narrow elegant nose。 Then their mouths joined again in a long； lush； sated kiss。 It seemed that even with sore lips Zach could not get enough of kissing him。 Trevor had never known it was possible to feel this close to someone； had never dreamed he would want to。
〃So what do you think？〃 Zach asked after a while。
〃I think it was worth about a million drawings。〃 Trevor felt a guilty pang as he said this。 But if the Bird story hadn't been destroyed； this might not have happened。 He knew he had more drawings in his hand； in his brain。 Zach was right； he didn't need the house to dole them out to him。
Zach shook his head。 〃If it was enough of an asshole to tear up your story； maybe it'll be sorry。 Maybe it'll put the pieces back together。〃
Trevor snorted。 〃And Scotch…tape them。〃
〃Yeah； with the Magic Tape。〃
〃Yeah； with nine hundred thousand yards of it。〃
Zach settled into the curve of Trevor's arm。 Trevor felt the sweat cooling on their bodies； the damp morning chill that pervaded the room； and pulled the blanket over them。 Beneath it； Zach moved yet closer to him。 It was like being in a warm pocket of space reserved exclusively for them； like a safe haven； like a womb。
〃I'm sorry I hit you；〃 Trevor said。 It was way past the time for an apology； but he had to say it anyway。
〃I'm not。 It got us this far。〃 Zach yawned； pushed his face into Trevor's chest。 〃I was scared to try anything with you before。〃
〃Why？〃
〃Well…〃 Zach shifted position； draped an arm across Trevor's stomach； stroked the small sharp hill of Trevor's hipbone。 〃I don't usually have sex with people I respect。〃
〃Why not？〃
〃Because I'm a dumbfuck； I guess。 I don't know。〃
Trevor just looked at him。
Zach began to talk much as Trevor had done yesterday； spilling his sordid history； detailing more damage than he probably even realized： the condoms he masturbated with； the empty French Quarter trysts； the obsessive need to feel other flesh against his own but not to have to think about it。 By the end he was crying again； just a few slow shameful tears。
Trevor cupped Zach's face in both hands and licked the tears away。 His tongue darted into the salty corner of Zach's eye； rounded the curve of Zach's cheekbone； slipped back into Zach's mouth。 Zac