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given his pregnant wife an abortion with a 30。06; firing sixteen shells into her belly。 Even in the womb children were not safe from their fathers。 Trevor imagined the sizzle of hot lead tunneling into unformed fetal flesh; the raw; bloody reek edged with the firework smell of cordite。 But Bobby hadn't been giving any interviews after murdering his family; not hi this world anyway。
Trevor pictured the front page of hell's daily; printed on asbestos but still singed at the edges; Bobby's huge…eyed; shell…shocked face in grainy black and white on the front page。 And the headline would say…what? … ANOTHER FUCKED…UP GUY KILLS FAMILY; THEN SELF。 ONE KID LEFT ALIVE; 〃WE'LL GET HIM LATER〃 SAYS DEVIL。 Minor demons yawning over steaming mugs of bitter black coffee and brimstone; blearily scanning the news but not thinking much about it; this was business as usual in hell。
He felt the house drawing him in; filling his mind with images and icons till he overflowed like a pitcher of dark liquid。 Caffeine sang in his veins。 He dropped the newspaper; walked through the doorway stained with his mother's blood; past the kitchen on his left; and slowly down the hall; cocking his head and listening as he passed each room; trying to see through the half…closed doors。
On the right side of the hall was his parents' bedroom; then Bobby's studio。 On the left was Didi's room; then Trevor's; then the tiny bathroom where Bobby had died。 He remembered standing here before; looking at the afternoon light filtering in through the rooms; falling in golden slants across the hall floor; and wondering if he would ever be able to draw well enough to capture it。
He could do it now。 But the light was subtly different; murkier; with a greener tinge to it。 After a moment Trevor realized it must be because of the kudzu growing over the windows of the rooms; catching the sunlight and staining it。
He continued to the end of the hall; trailing his hand along the water…stained wall。 On his right was the studio; on his left the bathroom。 Bobby's hell and purgatory。 Or was it the other way around? Trevor guessed that was one of the things he had e to find out。
He looked to his left and saw the faint gleam of light on dirty porcelain; the buckled shower curtain rod above the black chasm of the tub。 How many hours was it now until the exact moment when Bobby had fastened the rope and stepped off the edge of the tub? How many hours until the twentieth anniversary of his neck snapping?
Trevor's eyes moved over the peeling walls; over the dark rectangle of the mirror; found the space between sink and toilet where he had curled his five…year…old body into the tightest possible ball。 He wondered if he could fit there now。 He wondered what he would see if he did。
Instead he turned and went into the studio。 The two large windows were intact; and the room was dusty but otherwise clean。 Trevor brushed off the tilted surface of Bobby's drawing table。 He preferred to draw on a flat surface; having gotten used to his desk at the Home; but the folding table was one of the few things Bobby hadn't sold or thrown out when they left Austin。 It had his stains and gouges; his razor slits and scars; his sweat grimed into its grain; maybe his tears too。 Maybe his secrets。 And maybe his nightmares。
Trevor sat on the sawed…off bar stool that Bobby had used as his drawing chair。 It wobbled as it always had; but held。 The light in here was good; even with the vines and tall grass covering the window; but some drawings tacked up on the wall were in shadow。 He didn't want to see them now anyway; he had enough of Bobby here to suit him for a while。
Trevor got his own pencils and sketchbook out of his bag; arranged them on the table; and flipped to the story he had been working on at the graveyard。 The story of how Bird and Walter Brown went to jail in Jackson; Mississippi; for talking on a screened porch one fine summer night。
Left arm curled around his sketchbook; head bent down far over the page; hair hanging like a pale curtain around his thin; determined face; Trevor drew for three hours。 When he looked up; the room was veiled in blue shadows and he realized he had barely been able to see the page for ten minutes or more。 He saw Bobby's old gooseneck lamp still clamped to the edge of the table; and without thinking he reached out and pushed the button that turned it on。
Stark electric light flooded the room; threw the spidery shadow of his fingers clutching the pencil onto the pitted tabletop。
Trevor's drawing trance broke。 He shoved himself back from the table; nearly tipped the stool over。 Only his fear made him keep his balance。 He did not want to be on his back on the floor of this room just now。 His gaze swept the corners; the ceiling; the darkening windows; came to rest on the brown cord snaking from the base of the lamp to the wall socket below。 The thing was plugged in。 But how could the wiring; the bulb; last twenty years? And as long as he was asking stupid questions; how could the fucking electricity be on?
He wondered if it might never have been turned off; if their delinquent bill might have been passed over by an idling puter or some such。 He distrusted all engines and mechanical systems but especially puters; whose insides he pictured as like some silver; sinister; impossibly intricate painting by Giger。
But Trevor didn't think the power could have stayed on for two decades without someone at the switches noticing or the house catching fire。 When you subtract the impossible; what's left? The improbable; the strange but true。 The supernatural; or if you liked; the supernatural: outside the boundaries of most experience; but possible in a place where no boundaries are drawn。
Trevor settled back on the stool and glanced up at the wall; at the drawings tacked there; done on sketchbook paper now yellowed and curling at the edges。 Most had sifted away to faint scratchings of ink or graphite; impossible to make out。 But the one his eyes came to rest on was still clear enough。
It was Bobby's last drawing of Rosena; of whom he had done so many: facial studies framed in cascading hair; with tender mouth and large lustrous eyes; sinuous nude fantasies made flesh; long graceful hands like rapid sketches of birds in flight。 But in this one Rosena sprawled in the hall doorway; head thrown back; face battered in。 Except for slight differences in style…Bobby had a heavier hand with the shading; and a way of capturing the fall of light on hair that made it look nearly wet…it was identical to the drawing Trevor had done in his sketchbook on the Greyhound; on his way to Missing Mile。
Trevor stared at the faded picture; nodding ever so slightly; not even surprised anymore。 Either Bobby had known how she would look in death before he killed her; as if he'd had some vision; or he had gotten out his sketchbook and drawn her broken body before he had gone into the bathroom to hang himself。 Maybe somewhere around here was a sketch of Didi dead too。 Trevor had done one this morning; barely awake; ing out of his dream of not…drawing。
But now he was here; on the very spot where he sat in the dream; and he could still d