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pzb.drawingblood-第27章

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h。 It tasted horrible; like stale carbonated saliva。 But the caffeine sent immediate electric tendrils into his brain; soothed the pounding at his temples; cleared the red cobwebs from his vision。
  It was the only drug he had much use for。 Once he'd started to develop a taste for speed; but quit the first time he detected a tremor in his hand。 Pot reminded him too much of his parents in the good days; back when Bobby was drawing。 Alcohol terrified him; it was nothing more than death; distilled and bottled。 And junk held such a morbid fascination for him that he dared not try it; though he had been in plenty of low haunts and back alleys where he could have had some if he'd wanted to。 He knew it was supposed to be clear; yet he imagined it black as ink; swirling out of the needle and through his veins; lulling him into some dreadfully familiar nightmare world。
  He drank the last vile swig of Jolt; stuck the empty can back in his backpack; and set out on a meandering path through the graveyard。 The ground was uneven; the weeds in some places tall enough to brush the tips of his fingers。 He caught at them; let them slip through his hands。
  This was not Missing Mile's only burying ground。 Trevor had glimpsed a few small church cemeteries on his way into town; and he remembered that the surrounding woods were seeded with old Civil War graves and family plots; sometimes just two or three rough…hewn stones in a lonely little cluster。
  But this was the oldest one still in use。 There were recent stones; letters and dates chiseled so sharply that they seemed to float just above the slick surface of the granite。 Flecks of quartz and mica caught the receding light。 There were old markers; stone crosses and arched tablets of slate; their edges crumbling; their inscriptions beginning to blur。 There were the small white stones of children; some topped with lambs like smooth cakes of soap partly melted in the shower。 Some graves were splashed with gaudy color; flowers arranged in bright sprays or tortured into wreaths。 Some had gone undecorated for a very long time。
  And some had never been decorated。
  Pain shot through his hands。 Trevor found himself standing before a long; plain slab of granite。 He realized he had been standing there for several minutes; working his hands against each other; twisting his fingers together until the joints screamed。 He made himself flex them; one by one。
  Then he raised his head and looked at the gravestone of everyone he had ever loved。
  
  McGEE
  
  ROBERT FREDRIC FREDRIC DYLAN ROSENA PARKS
  
  B。 APRIL 20; B。 SEPT。 6; B。 OCT。 20;
  1937 1969 1942
  
  DIED JUNE 14; 1972
  
  Trevor had forgotten that his brother's middle name was Dylan。 Momma had always told people it was for Dylan Thomas; the poet。 Bobby pointed out that the kid was born in '69; no matter what anyone said; everybody would assume he was named after Bob Dylan。 It would haunt him all his life。
  But Bobby had taken care of that。
  During his walk out here Trevor had wondered if they might all start yammering at him; their voices worming up through six feet of hard…packed earth; through twenty years of decay and dissolution; over the chirrup and buzz of insects in the tall grass and the slow rumble of the storm ing in。 But; though he still sensed the soft hum of the collective dead; his own dead were silent。 Now that he was here he felt curiously flat; almost disappointed; no one had spoken to him; no skeletal hand had thrust up to grab his ankle and drag him down with them。 Left out again。
  Trevor knelt and laid his palms briefly against the cool stone; then put his backpack down and stretched out on the ground。 In the center of the grave; over Didi; he supposed。 It was hard to believe that Didi's body; the body he had last seen stiff and cold in bed with its head smeared like overripe fruit across the pillow; lay directly beneath him。 He wondered if any reconstruction of the heads and faces had been done; or if Didi's fragile skull had been left to fall to pieces like a broken Easter egg。 The ground was warm under his back; the sky overhead pregnant with clouds; nearly black。 If he was going to do any drawing here; he'd better get started。
  He unzipped his bag and took out his sketchbook。 A pencil was wedged into the coiled wire binding。 Trevor fingered it but did not pull it out just yet。 Instead he turned to the drawing he had finished on the bus。 Rosena Black: the dead version of Rosena McGee; with none of her wit or warmth; with nothing but a cold ruined shell of a body。 Seven fingers broken as she tried to fight Bobby off in the doorway to the hall; beyond which lay her sleeping sons。 Had she been trying to grab the hammer; and if she got it; would she have killed her husband with it? Trevor thought so。
  That would have changed every part of the equation but one: Bobby would still be dead; and Trevor would still be alive。 Only if it had gone down that way; at least Trevor would know why he was alive。
  He reached into his backpack again; felt way down deep in the bottom; found a battered manila envelope and took out three folded sheets of paper。 The folds had worn through many times over; had been taped back together and refolded until some of the photocopied words on the paper were nearly illegible。 It didn't matter; Trevor knew them by heart。
  They all followed the same format。 Robert F。 McGee; Rural Box 17; Violin Road; male Caucasian; 35 yrs; 5…9; 130 pounds; blond hair; blue eyes。 Occupation: Artist。 Cause of death: Strangulation by hanging。 Manner of death: Suicide。 Other marks: Scratches on face; arms; chest area 。 。 。
  He knew Momma had made those scratches。 But they hadn't been enough; not nearly enough。 Fingernails weren't much use once the fingers were broken。
  He folded the autopsy reports and slid them back into the envelope。 He had stolen them from his file at the Home and carried them with him since then。 The paper was worn soft and thin; read a thousand times。 The ink was smudged with the whorls of his fingerprints。
  The storm was very close now。 The hum of insects in the grass; the trill and call of birds in the surrounding woods seemed very loud。 The afternoon light had taken on a lurid greenish cast。 The air was full of electricity。 Trevor felt the fine hairs on his arms standing up; the nape of his neck prickling。
  He flipped to a clean page in his book; freed his pencil; and began sketching rapidly。 In a few minutes he had roughed out the first half of his idea for a strip。
  It stemmed from an incident in a biography of Charlie Parker he had read at the Home。 In his thirteen years there; Trevor had read just about everything in the meager library。 Most of the other kids wondered why he wanted to read anything at all; let alone a book about some dead musician who had played a kind of music that nobody listened to anymore。
  The incident had happened when Bird was touring the South with the Jay McShann Orchestra。 Jackson; Mississippi; was a bad place for black people in 1941。 (Trevor doubted it was any great shakes for them now。) There was a curfew requiring them to be off the street by eleven P。M。; so unless t
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