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t was the unanimous decision of a specially convened board of inspectors and deputy chiefs； and I did not protest it。 I thought of turning over Ramona in hopes of pulling a grandstander's turnabout； but kiboshed the idea。 Russ Millard might be pelled to admit what he knew and get hurt； Lee's name would get coated with more slime； Martha would know。 The firing was about two and a half years overdue； the Confidential exposé my final embarrassment to the Department。 No one knew that better than I did。
I turned in my service revolver； my outlaw 。45 and badge 1611。 I moved back to the house that Lee bought； borrowed 500 from the padre and waited for my notoriety to die down before I started looking for work。 Betty Short and Kay weighed on me； and I went by Kay's school to look for her。 The principal； eyeing me like a bug who just crawled out of the woodwork； said that Kay left a resignation letter the day after I hit the newsstands。 It stated that she was going on a long cross…country automobile trip and would not be returning to Los Angeles。
The Grand Jury bound Madeleine over for trial on Manslaughter Three…〃premeditated homicide under psychological duress and with mitigating circumstances。〃 Her lawyer； the great Jerry Giesler； had her plead guilty and request a judge's chambers sentencing。 Taking into account the remendations of psychiatrists who found Madeleine to be a 〃severely delusional violent schizophrenic adept at acting out many different personalities；〃 the judge sentenced her to Atascadero State Hospital for an 〃indeterminate period of treatment not to subscribe below the minimum time allotted by the state penalties code： ten years of imprisonment。〃
So the brass girl took the heat for her family and I took it for myself。 My farewell to the Spragues was a front…page photo in the LA Daily News。 Matrons were leading Madeleine out of the courtroom while Emmett wept at the defense table。 Ramona； hollow…cheeked with disease； was being shepherded by Martha； all good strong business in a tailored suit。 The picture was a lock on my silence forever。
CHAPTER THIRTY…SIX
A month later I got a letter from Kay。
Sioux Falls； S。D。
8/17/49
Dear Dwight；
I didn't know if you'd moved back to the house； so I don't know if this letter will reach you。 I've been checking the library for L。A。 papers； and I know you're not with the Department anymore； so that's another place where I can't write to you。 I'll just have to send this out and see what happens。
I'm in Sioux Falls； living at the Plainsman Hotel。 It's the best one in town； and I've wanted to stay here since I was a little girl。 It's not the way I imagined it； of course。 I just wanted to wash the taste of L。A。 out of my mouth； and Sioux Falls is as antithetical to L。A。 as you can get without flying to the moon。
My grade school girlfriends are all married and have children； and two of them are widows from the war。 Everyone talks about the war like it's still going on； and the high prairies outside of town are being plowed for housing developments。 The ones that have been constructed so far are so ugly； such bright； jarring colors。 They make me miss our old house。 I know you hate it； but it was a sanctuary for nine years of my life。
Dwight； I've read all the papers and that trashy magazine piece。 I must have counted a dozen lies。 Lies by omission and the blatant kind。 I keep wondering what happened； even though I don't really want to know。 I keep wondering why Elizabeth Short was never mentioned。 I would have felt self…righteous； but I spent last night in my room just counting lies。 All the lies I told you and things I never told you； even when it was good with us。 I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many I came up with。
I'm sorry for them。 And I admire what you did with Madeleine Sprague。 I never knew what she was to you； but I know what arresting her cost you。 Did she really kill Lee？ Is that just another lie？ Why can't I believe it？
I have some money that Lee left me （a lie by omission； I know） and I'm going to head east in a day or so。 I want to be far away from Los Angeles； someplace cool and pretty and old。 Maybe New England； maybe the Great Lakes。 All I know is that when I see the place； I'll know it。
Hoping this finds you；
Kay。
P。S。 Do you still think about Elizabeth Short？ I think about her constantly。 I don't hate her； I just think about her。 Strange after all this time。
K。L。B。
I kept the letter and re…read it at least a couple of hundred times。 I didn't think about what it meant； or implied about my future； or Kay's； or ours together。 I just re…read it and thought about Betty。
I dumped the El Nido master file in the garbage and thought about her。 H。J。 Caruso gave me a job selling cars； and I thought about her while I was hawking the 1950 line。 I drove by 39th and Norton； saw that houses were going up on the vacant lot and thought about her。 I didn't question the morality of letting Ramona walk or wonder whether Betty would approve。 I just thought about her。 And it took Kay； always the smarter of the two of us； to put it together for me。
Her second letter was postmarked Cambridge； Massachusetts； and was written on stationery for the Harvard Motor Lodge。
9/11/49
Dear Dwight…
I'm still such a liar； proscrastinator and chicken heart。 I've known for two months； and I just got up the courage to tell you。 If this letter doesn't reach you I'll actually have to call the house or Russ Millard。 Better to try this way first。
Dwight； I'm pregnant。 It had to have happened that one awful time about a month before you moved out。 I'm due around Christmas and I want to keep it。
This is the patented Kay Lake retreat advancing。 Will you please call or write？ Soon？ Now？
That's the big news。 Per the P。S。 on my last letter； something strange？ Elegiac？ Plain funny happened。
I kept thinking about Elizabeth Short。 How she disrupted all our lives； and we never even knew her。 When I got to Cambridge （God； how I love academic munities！） I remembered that she was raised nearby。 I drove to Medford； stopped for dinner and got into a conversation with a blind man sitting at the next table。 I was feeling gabby and mentioned Elizabeth Short。 The man was sad at first； then he perked up。 He told me about an L。A。 policeman who came to Medford three months ago to find 〃Beth's〃 killer。 He described your voice and verbal style to a 〃T。〃 I felt very proud； but I didn't tell him that cop was my husband； because I don't know if you still are。
Wondering；
Kay
I didn't call or write。 I put Lee Blanchard's house on the market and caught a flight to Boston。
CHAPTER THIRTY…SEVEN
On the plane I thought of all the things I'd have to explain to Kay； evidence to keep a new foundation of lies from destroying the two…or three…of us。
She would have to know that I was a detective without a badge； that for one month in the year 1949 I possessed brilliance and courage and the will to make sacrifices。 She would have