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〃I love you whether or not you dress in gold or wear pearls； whether or not you speak wittily and quickly； whether or not you make a well…lighted and elegant place in which I can rest； I love you for the heart here inside you； which came to Amadeo when you knew there was danger that those who knew or loved the Englishman might hurt you； I love you for courage and for what you know of being alone。〃
Her eyes widened for a moment。 〃For what I know of being alone？ Oh； I know very well what it means to be utterly alone。〃
〃Yes； brave one； and now you know I love you；〃 he whispered。 〃You always knew that Amadeo loved you。〃
〃Yes； I do love you；〃 I whispered； lying next to her； holding her。
〃Well； now you know I love you as well。〃
She studied him as best she could in her languor。 〃There are so many questions on the tip of my tongue；〃 she said。
〃They don't matter；〃 Marius said。 He kissed her and I think he let his teeth touch her tongue。 〃I take all your questions and I cast them away。 Sleep now； virginal heart；〃 he said。 〃Love whom you will； quite safe in the love we feel for you。〃
It was the signal to withdraw。
As I stood at the foot of the bed； he placed the embroidered covers over her； careful to fold the fine Flemish linen sheet over the edge of the rougher white wool blanket； and then he kissed her again； but she was like a little girl； soft and safe； and fast asleep。
Outside； as we stood on the edge of the canal； he lifted his gloved hand to his nostrils； and he savored the fragrance of her on it。
〃You've learnt much today； haven't you？ You cannot tell her anything of who you are。 But do you see now how close you might e？〃
〃Yes；〃 I said。 〃But only if I want nothing in return。〃
〃Nothing？〃 he asked。 He looked at me reprovingly。 〃She gave you loyalty； affection； intimacy； what more could you want in return？〃
〃Nothing now；〃 I said。 〃You've taught me well。 But what I had before was her understanding； that she was a mirror in which I could study my reflection and thereby judge my own growth。 She can't be that mirror now； can she？〃
〃Yes； in many ways she can。 Show her by gestures and simple words what you are。 You needn't tell her tales of blood drinkers that would only drive her mad。 She can fort you marvelously well without ever knowing what hurts you。 And you； you must remember that to tell her everything would be to destroy her。 Imagine it。〃
I was silent for a long moment。
〃Something's occurred to you；〃 he said。 〃You have that solemn look。 Speak。〃
〃Can she be made into what we…。〃
〃Amadeo； you bring me to another lesson。 The answer is no。〃
〃But she'll grow old and die； and…。〃
〃Of course she will； as she is meant to do。 Amadeo； how many of us can there be？ And on what grounds would we bring her over to us？ And would we want her as our panion forever？ Would we want her as our pupil？ Would we want to hear her cries if the magic blood were to drive her mad？ It is not for any soul； this blood； Amadeo。 It demands a great strength and a great preparation； all of which I found in you。 But I do not see it in her。〃
I nodded。 I knew what he meant。 I didn't have to think over all that had befallen me； or even think back to the rude cradle of Russia where I'd been nursed。 He was right。
〃You will want to share this power with them all；〃 he said。 〃Learn that you cannot。 Learn that with each one you make there es a terrible obligation； and a terrible danger。 Children rise against their parents； and with each blood drinker made by you you make a child that will live forever in love for you or hate。 Yes； hate。〃
〃You needn't say any more；〃 I whispered。 〃I know。 I understand。〃
We went home together； to the brightly lighted rooms of the palazzo。
I knew then what he wanted of me； that I mingle with my old friends among the boys； that I show kindness in particular to Riccardo； who blamed himself； I soon realized； for the death of those few undefended ones whom the Englishman had murdered on that fateful day。
〃Pretend； and grow strong with each pretense；〃 he whispered in my ear。 〃Rather； draw close and be loving and love； without the luxury of plete honesty。 For love can bridge all。〃
13
IN THE FOLLOWING MONTHS； I learned more than I can ever recount here。 I studied vigorously； and paid attention even to the government of the city； which I thought basically as tiresome as any government； and read voraciously the great Christian scholars； pleting my time with Abelard； Duns Scotus and other thinkers whom Marius prized。
Marius also found for me a heap of Russian literature so that for the first time I could study in writing what I had only known from the songs of my uncles and my Father in the past。 At first I deemed this too painful for a serious inquiry； but Marius laid down the law and wisely。 The inherent value of the subject matter soon absorbed my painful recollections and a greater knowledge and understanding was the result。
All of these documents were in Church Slavonic； the written language of my childhood； and I soon fell into reading this with extraordinary ease。 The Lay of lgor's Campaigns delighted me； but I also loved the writings； translated from the Greek； of St。 John Chrysostom。 I also reveled in the fantastical tales of King Solomon and of the Descent of the Virgin into Hell； works which were not part of the approved New Testament but which were very evocative of the Russian soul。 I read also our great chronicle； The Tale of…Bygone Years。 I read also Orison on the Downfall of Russia and the Tale of the Destruction of Riasan。
This exercise； the reading of my native stories； helped me to put them in perspective alongside the other learning which I acquired。 In sum； it lifted them from the realm of personal dreams。
Gradually； I saw the wisdom of this。 I made my reports to Marius with more enthusiasm。 I asked for more of the manuscripts in Church Slavonic； and I soon had for reading the Narrative of the Pious Prince Dovmont and His Courage and The Heroic Deeds of Mercurius of Smolensk。 Finally； I came to regard the works in Church Slavonic to be a pure pleasure； and I kept them for the hours after official study when I might pour over the old tales and even make up from them my own mournful songs。
I sang these sometimes to the other apprentices when they went to sleep。 They thought the language very exotic； and sometimes the pure music and my sad inflection could make them cry。
Riccardo and I； meantime； became close friends again。 He never asked why I was now a creature of night like the Master。 I never sounded the depths of his mind。 Of course I would do it if I had to for my safety and for Marius's safety； but I used my vampiric wits to gloss him in another way； and I always found him devoted； unquestioning and loyal。
Once I asked Marius what Riccardo thought of us。
〃Riccardo owes me too great a debt to question anything I do；〃 Marius answered； but without any haughtiness or pride。
〃Then he is far better bred than I am； isn't he？ For I owe you the same debt and I question everything you sa