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o gathered up and played with his plucking fingers was the lute。 The great canopy of the Master's regal bed was a baldaquin trimmed each fortnight with new gold fringe。
I was ecstatic。
I had not merely a sword but a dagger。
Such trust。 Of course I was lamblike to these others； and pretty much a lamb to myself。 But never had anyone entrusted to me such bronze and steel weapons。 Again； memory played its tricks。 I knew how to throw a wooden spear； how to 。。。 Alas； it became a wisp of smoke； and there lay in the air around it that I'd been mitted not to weapons； but to something else； something immense which exacted all I could give it。 Weapons were forbidden for me。
Well； no more。 No more； no more； no more。 Death had swallowed me whole and thrown me forth here。 In the palazzo of my Master； in a salon of brilliantly painted battle scenes； with maps upon the ceiling； with windows of thick molded glass； I drew my sword with a great singing sound and pointed it at the future。 With my dagger； after examining the emeralds and rubies of its handle； I sliced an apple in two with a gasp。
The other boys laughed at me。 But it was all friendly； kind。
Soon the Master would e。 Look。 From room to room the youngest fellows among us； little boys who had not e out with us； now moved quickly； lifting their tapers to torches and candelabra。 I stood in the door； looking to yet another and another and another。 Light burst forth soundlessly in each of these rooms。
A tall man； very shadowy and plain； came in with a tattered book in his hand。 His long thin hair and plain wool robe were black。 His small eyes were cheerful； but his thin mouth was colorless and belligerently set。
The boys all groaned。
High narrow windows were closed against the cooler night air。
In the canal below； men sang as they drove their long narrow gondolas； voices seeming to ring； to splash up the walls； delicate； sparkling； then dying away。
I ate the apple to the last juicy speck of it。 I had eaten more in this day of fruit； meat； bread； sweets and candy than a human being could possibly eat。 I wasn't human。 I was a hungry boy。
The teacher snapped his fingers； then took from his belt a long switch and cracked it against his own leg。 〃e now；〃 he said to the boys。
I looked up as the Master appeared。
All the boys； big and tall； babyfied and manly； ran to him and embraced him and clung to his arms as he made his inspection of the painting they had done by the long day。
The teacher waited in silence； giving the Master a humble bow。
Through the galleries we walked； the entire pany； the teacher trailing behind。
The Master held out his hands； and it was a privilege to feel the touch of his cold white fingers； a privilege to catch a part of his long thick trailing red sleeves。
〃e； Amadeo； e with us。〃
I wanted one thing only； and it came soon enough。
They were sent off with the man who was to read Cicero。 The Master's firm hands with their flashing fingernails turned me and directed me to his private rooms。
It was private here； the painted wooden doors at once bolted； the burning braziers scented with incense； perfumed smoke rising from the brass lamps。 It was the soft pillows of the bed； a flower garden of stenciled and embroidered silk； floral satin； rich chenille； intricately patterned brocade。 He pulled the scarlet bed curtains。 The light made them transparent。 Red and red and red。 It was his color； he told me； as blue was to be mine。
In a universal tongue he wooed me； feeding me the images：
〃Your brown eyes are amber when the fire catches them；〃 he whispered。 〃Oh； but they are lustrous and dark； two glossy mirrors in which I see myself even as they keep their secrets； these dark portals of a rich soul。〃
I was too lost in the frigid blue of his own eyes； and the smooth gleaming coral of his lips。
He lay with me； kissed me； pushing his fingers carefully and smoothly through my hair； never pulling a curl of it； and brought the shivers from my scalp and from between my legs。 His thumbs； so hard and cold； stroked my cheeks； my lips； my jaw so as to make the flesh quicken。 Turning my head from right to left； he pressed his half…formed kisses with a dainty hunger to the inner shells of my ears。
I was too young for a wet pleasure。
I wonder if it was more what women feel。 I thought it couldn't end。 It became an agony of rapture； being caught in his hands； unable to escape； convulsing and twisting and feeling this ecstasy again and again and again。
He taught me words in the new language afterwards； the word for the cold hard tile on the floor which was Carrara marble； the word for the curtains which was spun silk； the names of the 〃fishes〃 and 〃turtles〃 and the 〃elephants〃 embroidered onto the pillows； the word for the lion sewn in tapestry on the heavy coverlet itself。
As I listened； rapt； to all details both large and small； he told me the provenance of the pearls sewn into my tunic； of how they had e from the oysters of the sea。 Boys had dived into the depths to bring these precious round white treasures up to the surface； carrying them in their very mouths。 Emeralds came from mines within the earth。 Men killed for them。 And diamonds； ah； look at these diamonds。 He took a ring from his finger and put it on mine； his fingertips stroking my finger gently as he made sure of the fit。 Diamonds are the white light of God； he said。 Diamonds are pure。
God。 What is God！ The shock went through my body。 It seemed the scene about me would wither。
He watched me as he spoke； and it seemed now and then I heard him clearly； though he had not moved his lips or made a sound。
I grew agitated。 God； don't let me think of God。 Be my God。
〃Give me your mouth； give me your arms；〃 I whispered。 My hunger startled and delighted him。
He laughed softly as he answered me with more fragrant and harmless kisses。 His warm breath came in a soft whistling flood against my groin。
〃Amadeo； Amadeo； Amadeo；〃 he said。
〃What does this name mean； Master？〃 I asked。 〃Why do you give it to me？〃 I think I heard an old self in my voice； but maybe it was only this newborn princeling gilded and wrapped in fine goods that had chosen this soft respectful but nevertheless bold voice。
〃Beloved of God；〃 he said。
Oh； I couldn't bear to hear this。 God； the inescapable God。 I was troubled； panic…stricken。
He took my outstretched hand and bent my finger to point to a tiny winged infant etched in glittering beads on a worn square cushion that lay beside us。 〃Amadeo；〃 he said； 〃beloved of the God of love。〃
He found the ticking watch in the heap of my clothes at bedside。 He picked it up and smiled as he looked at it。 He had not seen many of these at all。 Most marvelous。 They were expensive enough for Kings and Queens。
〃You shall have everything you want；〃 he said。
〃Why？〃
Again came his laughter in answer。
〃For reddish locks such as these；〃 he said caressing my hair； 〃for eyes of the deepest and most sympathetic brown。 For skin like the fresh cream of the