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d flung out his arms to me again； 〃Ah； poor Armand； you are all wrong； all filled with wrong dreams。 Armand； don't you see？〃
〃I love you；〃 I whispered in a tiny voice into Sybelle's ear。 I whispered it again； and then my resistance broke pletely； and I crushed her gently to me and with rampant fingers felt her silky white skin and the zinging fineness of her shining hair。
Still holding her to me； I whispered； 〃Don't tremble； I love you； I love you。〃
I clasped Benji to me with my left hand。 〃And you； scamp； you can tell me all of it in time。 Just let me hold you now。 Let me hold you。〃
I was shivering。 I was the one shivering。 They enclosed me again with all their tenderness； seeking to keep me warm。
Finally； patting them both； taking my leave of them with kisses； I shrank away and fell down exhausted into a large old velvet chair。
My head throbbed and I felt my tears ing again； but with all my force I swallowed my tears for their sake。 I had no choice。
Sybelle had gone back to the piano； and striking the keys she began the Sonata again。 This time she sang out the notes in a beautiful low monosyllabic soprano； and Benji began dancing again； whirling； and prancing； and stomping with his bare feet； in lovely keeping with Sybelle's time。
I sat forward with my head in my hands。 I wanted my hair to e down and hide me from all eyes； but for all its thickness it was only a head of hair。
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I stiffened； but I could not say a word； lest I'd start crying again and cursing with all my might。 I was silent。
〃I don't expect you to understand；〃 he said under his breath。
I sat up。 He was beside me； seated on the arm of the chair。 He looked down at me。
I made my face pleasant； all smiles even； and my voice so velvet and placid that no one could have thought I was talking to him of anything but love。
〃How could you do it？ Why did you do it？ Do you hate me so much？ Don't lie to me。 Don't tell me stupid things that you know I will never； never believe。 Don't lie to me for Pandora's sake or their sake。 I'll care for them and love them forever。 But don't lie。 You did it for vengeance； didn't you； Master； you did it for hate？〃
〃How could I？〃 he asked in the same voice； expressive of pure love； and it seemed the very genuine voice of love talking to me from his sincere and pleading face。 〃If ever I did anything for love； I have done this for it。 I did it for love and for you。 I did it for all the wrongs done you； and the loneliness you've suffered； and the horrors that the world put upon you when you were too young and too untried to know how to fight them and then too vanquished to wage a battle with a full heart。 I did it for you。〃
〃Oh； you lie； you lie in your heart；〃 I said； 〃if not with your tongue。 You did it for spite； and you have just revealed it all too plainly to me。 You did it for spite because I wasn't the fledgling you wanted to make of me。 I wasn't the clever rebel who could stand up to Santino and his band of monsters； and I was the one； after all those centuries； that disappointed you yet again and horribly because I went into the sun after I saw the Veil。 That's why you did it。 You did it for vengeance and you did it for bitterness and you did it for disappointment； and the crowning horror is you don't know it yourself。 You couldn't bear it that my heart swelled to burst when I saw His Face on the Veil。 You couldn't bear it that this child you plucked from the Venetian brothel； and nursed with your own blood； this child you taught from your own books and with your hands； cried out to Him when he saw His Face on the Veil。〃
〃No； that is so very very far from the truth it breaks my heart。〃 He shook his head。 And tearless and white as he was； his face was a perfect picture of sorrow as though it was a painting he had done with his own hands。 〃I did it because they love you as no one has ever loved you； and they are free and have within their generous hearts a deep cunning which doesn't shrink from you and all that you are。 I did it because they were forged in the same furnace as myself； the two of them； keen to reason and strong to endure。 I did it because madness had not defeated her； and poverty and ignorance had not defeated him。 I did it because they were your chosen ones； utterly perfect； and I knew that you would not do it； and they would e to hate you for this； hate you； as you once hated me for withholding it； and you would lose them to alienation and death before you would give in。
〃They are yours now。 Nothing separates you。 And it's my blood； ancient and powerful； that's filled them to the brim with power so that they can be your worthy panions and not the pale shadow of your soul which Louis always was。
〃There is no barrier of Master and Fledgling between you； and you can learn the secrets of their hearts as they learn the secrets of yours。〃
I wanted to believe it。
I wanted to believe it so badly that I got up and left him； and making the gentlest smile at my Benjamin and kissing her silkily in passing； I withdrew to the garden and stood alone beneath and between a pair of massive oaks。
Their thunderous roots rose up out of the ground； forming hillocks of hard dark blistering wood。 I rested my feet in this rocky place and my head against the nearer of the two trees。
The branches came down and made a veil for me； as I had wanted the hair of my own head to do。 I felt shielded and safe in the shadows。 I was quiet in my heart； but my heart was broken and my mind was shattered； and I had only to look through the open doorway into the brilliant glory of the light at my two white vampire angels for me to start crying again。
Marius stood for a long time in a distant door。 He didn't look at me。 And when I looked to Pandora； I saw her coiled up as if to defend herself from some terrible pain…possibly only our quarrel…in another large old velvet chair。
Finally Marius drew himself up and came towards me； and I think it took a force of will for him to do it。 He seemed suddenly just a little angry and even proud。
I didn't give a damn。
He stood before me but he said nothing； and it seemed he was there to face whatever I had yet to say。
〃Why didn't you let them have their lives！〃 I said。 〃You； of all people； whatever you felt for me and my follies； why didn't you let them have what nature gave them？ Why did you interfere？〃
He didn't answer； but I didn't allow for it。 Softening my tone so as not to alarm them； I went on。
〃In my darkest times；〃 I said； 〃it was always your words that upheld me。 Oh； I don't mean during those centuries when I was in bondage to a warped creed and morbid delusion。 I mean long afterwards； after I had e out of the cellar； at Lestat's challenge； and I read what Lestat wrote of you； and then heard you for myself。 It was you； Master； who let me see what little I could of the marvelous bright world unfolding around me in ways I couldn't have imagined in the land or time in which I was born。〃
I couldn't contain myself。 I stopped for breath and to listen to her music； and realizing how lovely