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〃Assuredly； rade Jarvis。 You know a good thing when you see one。 Why；〃 he went on warmly； 〃there is stuff in these reminiscences which would stir the blood of a jelly…fish。 Let me quote you another passage to show that they are not only enthralling； but helpful as well。 Let me see； where is it？ Ah； I have it。 'A bully good way of putting a guy out of business is this。 You don't want to use it in the ring； because by Queensberry Rules it's a foul； but you will find it mighty useful if any thick…neck es up to you in the street and tries to start anything。 It's this way。 While he's setting himself for a punch； just place the tips of the fingers of your left hand on the right side of his chest。 Then bring down the heel of your left hand。 There isn't a guy living that could stand up against that。 The fingers give you a leverage to beat the band。 The guy doubles up； and you upper…cut him with your right； and out he goes。' Now； I bet you never knew that before； rade Philpotts。 Try it on your parishioners。〃 〃Cosy Moments；〃 said Mr。 Wilberfloss irately； 〃is no medium for exploiting low prize…fighters。〃
〃Low prize…fighters！ rade Wilberfloss； you have been misinformed。 The Kid is as decent a little chap as you'd meet anywhere。 You do not seem to appreciate the philanthropic motives of the paper in adopting rade Brady's cause。 Think of it； rade Wilberfloss。 There was that unfortunate stripling with only two pleasures in life； to love his mother and to knock the heads off other youths whose weight coincided with his own； and misfortune； until we took him up； had barred him almost pletely from the second pastime。 Our editorial heart was melted。 We adopted rade Brady。 And look at him now！ Matched against Eddie Wood！ And rade Waterman will support me in my statement that a victory over Eddie Wood means that he gets a legitimate claim to meet Jimmy Garvin for the championship。〃
〃It is abominable；〃 burst forth Mr。 Wilberfloss。 〃It is disgraceful。 I never heard of such a thing。 The paper is ruined。〃
〃You keep reverting to that statement； rade Wilberfloss。 Can nothing reassure you？ The returns are excellent。 Prosperity beams on us like a sun。 The proprietor is more than satisfied。〃
〃The proprietor？〃 gasped Mr。 Wilberfloss。 〃Does he know how you have treated the paper？〃
〃He is cognisant of our every move。〃
〃And he approves？〃
〃He more than approves。〃
Mr。 Wilberfloss snorted。
〃I don't believe it；〃 he said。
The assembled ex…contributors backed up this statement with a united murmur。 B。 Henderson Asher snorted satirically。
〃They don't believe it；〃 sighed Psmith。 〃Nevertheless； it is true。〃
〃It is not true；〃 thundered Mr。 Wilberfloss； hopping to avoid a perambulating cat。 〃Nothing will convince me of it。 Mr。 Benjamin White is not a maniac。〃
〃I trust not；〃 said Psmith。 〃I sincerely trust not。 I have every reason to believe in his plete sanity。 What makes you fancy that there is even a possibility of his beinger？〃
〃Nobody but a lunatic would approve of seeing his paper ruined。〃
〃Again！〃 said Psmith。 〃I fear that the notion that this journal is ruined has bee an obsession with you； rade Wilberfloss。 Once again I assure you that it is more than prosperous。〃
〃If；〃 said Mr。 Wilberfloss； 〃you imagine that I intend to take your word in this matter； you are mistaken。 I shall cable Mr。 White to…day； and inquire whether these alterations in the paper meet with his approval。〃
〃I shouldn't； rade Wilberfloss。 Cables are expensive； and in these hard times a penny saved is a penny earned。 Why worry rade White？ He is so far away； so out of touch with our New York literary life。 I think it is practically a certainty that he has not the slightest inkling of any changes in the paper。〃
Mr。 Wilberfloss uttered a cry of triumph。
〃I knew it；〃 he said； 〃I knew it。 I knew you would give up when it came to the point； and you were driven into a corner。 Now； perhaps； you will admit that Mr。 White has given no sanction for the alterations in the paper？〃
A puzzled look crept into Psmith's face。
〃I think； rade Wilberfloss；〃 he said； 〃we are talking at cross…purposes。 You keep harping on rade White and his views and tastes。 One would almost imagine that you fancied that rade White was the proprietor of this paper。〃
Mr。 Wilberfloss stared。 B。 Henderson Asher stared。 Every one stared； except Mr。 Jarvis； who； since the readings from the Kid's reminiscences had ceased； had lost interest in the discussion； and was now entertaining the cats with a ball of paper tied to a string。
〃Fancied that Mr。 White 。 。 。？〃 repeated Mr。 Wilberfloss。 〃I don't follow you。 Who is； if he isn't？〃
Psmith removed his monocle； polished it thoughtfully； and put it back in its place。
〃I am；〃 he said。
CHAPTER XXIX
THE KNOCK…OUT FOR MR WARING
〃You！〃 cried Mr。 Wilberfloss。
〃The same；〃 said Psmith。
〃You！〃 exclaimed Messrs。 Waterman； Asher； and the Reverend Edwin Philpotts。
〃On the spot！〃 said Psmith。
Mr。 Wilberfloss groped for a chair and sat down。
〃Am I going mad？〃 he demanded feebly。
〃Not so； rade Wilberfloss；〃 said Psmith encouragingly。 〃All is well。 The cry goes round New York； 'rade Wilberfloss is to the good。 He does not gibber。'〃
〃Do I understand you to say that you own this paper？〃
〃I do。〃
〃Since when？〃
〃Roughly speaking； about a month。〃
Among his audience （still excepting Mr。 Jarvis； who was tickling one of the cats and whistling a plaintive melody） there was a tendency toward awkward silence。 To start bally…ragging a seeming nonentity and then to discover he is the proprietor of the paper to which you wish to contribute is like kicking an apparently empty hat and finding your rich uncle inside it。 Mr。 Wilberfloss in particular was disturbed。 Editorships of the kind which he aspired to are not easy to get。 If he were to be removed from Cosy Moments he would find it hard to place himself anywhere else。 Editors； like manuscripts； are rejected from want of space。
〃Very early in my connection with this journal；〃 said Psmith； 〃I saw that I was on to a good thing。 I had long been convinced that about the nearest approach to the perfect job in this world； where good jobs are so hard to acquire； was to own a paper。 All you had to do； once you had secured your paper； was to sit back and watch the other fellows work； and from time to time forward big cheques to the bank。 Nothing could be more nicely attuned to the tastes of a Shropshire Psmith。 The glimpses I was enabled to get of the workings of this little journal gave me the impression that rade White was not attached with any paternal fervour to Cosy Moments。 He regarded It； I deduced； not so much as a life…work as in the light of an investment。 I assumed that rade White had his price； and wrote to my father； who was visiting Carlsbad at the moment； to ascertain what that price might be。 He cabled it to me。 It was reasonable。 Now it so happens that an uncle of mine some years ago left me a considerable number of simoleons； and though I shall not be legally entitled actually to close in on the opulence for a matter of nine months or so； I anticipated that my father would have no objection to staking me to the necessary amount on the security