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There was a crowd at her mothers apartment shaft too； in the foyer by the lift tubes； and even in the hallway to her door。 Cordelia smiled and waved a little； cautiously； but just shook her head at questions； not trusting herself to speak coherently。 They made their way through and closed the door at last。
〃Whew！ I suppose they meant well； but my Lord…I felt like they wanted to eat me alive。〃
〃There was so much excitement about the war； and the Expeditionary Force…anyone in a blue uniform is getting star treatment。 And when the prisoners got home； and your story came out…I'm glad I knew you were safe by then。 My poor darling！〃 Cordelia got another hug； and weled it。
〃Well； that explains where they got the nonsense。 It was the wildest rumor。 The Barrayarans started it； and everyone just ate it up。 I couldn't stop it。〃
〃What did they do to you？〃
〃They kept following me around； pestering me with these offers of therapy…they thought the Barrayarans had been messing with my memory。。。 Oh； I see。 You mean； what did the Barrayarans do to me。 Nothing much。 V…vorrutyer might have liked to； but he met with his accident before he'd got half started。〃 She decided not to disturb her mother with the details。 〃Something important did happen； though。〃 She hesitated。 〃I ran into Aral Vorkosigan again。〃
〃That horrible man？ I wondered； when I heard the name in the news； if it was the same fellow who killed your Lieutenant Rosemont last year。〃
〃No。 Yes。 I mean； he didn't kill Rosemont； one of his people did。 But he's the same one。〃
〃I don't understand why you're so sympathetic to him。〃
〃You ought to appreciate him now。 He saved my life。 Hid me in his cabin； during those missing two days after Vorrutyer was killed。 I'd have been executed for it； if they'd caught me before the change in mand。〃
Her mother looked more disturbed than appreciative。 〃Did he…do anything to you？〃
The question was filled with unanswerable irony。 Cordelia dared not tell even her mother about the intolerable burden of truth he had laid on her。 Her mother misunderstood the haunted look on her face。
〃Oh； dear。 I'm so sorry。〃
〃Huh？ No； damn it。 Vorkosigan's no rapist。 He's got this thing about prisoners。 Wouldn't touch one with a stick。 He asked me。。。〃 she trailed off； looking into the kind； concerned； and loving wall of her mother's face。 〃We talked a lot。 He's all right。〃
〃He doesn't have a very good reputation。〃
〃Yeah； I've seen some of it。 It's all lies。〃
〃He's…not a murderer； then？〃
〃Well。。。〃 Cordelia foundered on the truth。 〃He has k…killed a lot of people； I suppose。 He's a soldier； you know。 It's his job。 It can't help spilling over a bit。 I only know about three that weren't in the line of duty； though。〃
〃Only three？〃 repeated her mother faintly。 There was a pause。 〃He's not a； a sex criminal； then？〃
〃Certainly not！ Although I gather he went through a rather strange phase； after his wife mitted suicide…I don't think he realizes how much I know about it； not that that maniac Vorrutyer should be trusted as a source of information； even if he was there。 I suspect it's partly true； at least about their relationship。 Vorrutyer was clearly obsessed with him。 And Aral went awfully vague when I asked him about it。〃
Looking at her mother's appalled face； Cordelia thought； it's a good thing I never wanted to be a defense lawyer。 All my clients would be in therapy forever； 〃It all makes a lot more sense if you meet him in person；〃 she offered hopefully。
Cordelia's mother laughed uncertainly。 〃He surely seems to have charmed you。 What does he have； then？ Conversation？ Good looks？〃
〃I'm not sure。 He mostly talks Barrayaran politics。 He claims to have an aversion to them； but it sounds more like an obsession to me。 He can't leave them alone for five minutes。 It's like they're in him。〃
〃Is that…a very interesting subject？〃
〃It's awful；〃 said Cordelia frankly。 〃His bedtime stories can keep you awake for weeks。〃
〃It can't be his looks；〃 sighed her mother。 〃I've seen a holovid of him in the news。〃
〃Oh； did you save it？〃 asked Cordelia； instantly interested。 〃Where is it？〃
〃I'm sure there's something in the vid files；〃 her mother allowed； staring。 〃But really； Cordelia…your Reg Rosemont was ten times better looking。〃
〃I suppose he was；〃 Cordelia agreed； 〃by any objective standard。〃
〃So what does the man have； anyway？〃
〃I don't know。 The virtues of his vices； perhaps。 Courage。 Strength。 Energy。 He could run me into the ground any day。 He has power over people。 Not leadership； exactly； although there's that too。 They either worship him or hate his guts。 The strangest man I ever met did both at the same time。 But nobody falls asleep when he's around。〃
〃And which category do you fall in； Cordelia？〃 asked her mother； bemused。
〃Well； I don't hate him。 Can't say as I worship him； either。〃 She paused a long time； and looked up to meet her mother's eyes squarely。 〃But when he's cut； I bleed。〃
〃Oh；〃 said her mother； whitely。 Her mouth smiled； her eyes flinched； and she busied herself with unnecessary vigor in getting Cordelia's meager belongings settled。
On the fourth afternoon of her leave； Cordelia's manding officer brought a disturbing visitor。
〃Captain Naismith； this is Dr。 Mehta； from the Expeditionary Force Medical Service；〃 modore Tailor introduced them。 Dr。 Mehta was a slim； tan…skinned woman about Cordelia's age； with dark hair drawn back； cool and antiseptic in her blue uniform。
〃Not another psychiatrist；〃 Cordelia sighed。 Her muscles knotted up the back of her neck。 More interrogations…more twisting； more evasions； ever…shakier webs of lies to cover the gaps in her story where Vorkosigan's bitter truths dwelt。。。
〃modore Sprague's reports finally caught up with your file； a little late； it seems。〃 Tailor's lips thinned sympathetically。 〃Ghastly。 I'm sorry。 If we'd had them earlier； we might have been able to spare you last week。 And everybody else。〃
Cordelia flushed。 〃I didn't mean to kick him。 He kind of ran into me。 It won't happen again。〃
modore Tailor suppressed a smile。 〃Well； I didn't vote for him。 Steady Freddy is not my main concern。 Although；〃 he cleared his throat； 〃he has taken a personal interest in your case。 You're a public figure now； like it or not。〃
〃Oh； nonsense。〃
〃It's not nonsense。 You have an obligation。〃
Who are you quoting； Bill？ thought Cordelia。 That's not your voice。 She rubbed the back of her neck。 〃I thought I'd discharged all my obligations。 What more do they want from me？〃
Tailor shrugged。 〃It was thought…I was given to understand…that you could have a future as a spokesman for…for the government。 Due to your war experience。 Once you're well。〃
Cordelia snorted。 〃They've got some awfully strange illusions about my soldierly career。 Look…as far as I'm concerned； Steady Freddy can put on falsies and go woo the hermaphrodite vote in Quartz。 But I'm n…not going to play the part of a； a propaganda cow； to be milked by any party。 I've an aversion to politics； to quote a friend。〃
〃Well。。。〃 He shrugged； as though he too had discharged a duty； and went on more firmly。 〃Be that as it may； getting you fit for work again is my concern。〃
〃