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trying to dig up the garden I need to grow。 And you know you need to go to that garden but every single human being from your mother to your father to your coaches to your teachers to your friends to even strangers … every single human being … wants you to keep away from the one garden where you know you can just help things grow and where you'll feel calm for once in your life。。。where you will feel that what you have known inside your body； inside your heart； inside your mind； is the way God and nature and whatever it is that moves things within any human being … meant for you to be。〃
Owen nearly gasped when Jimmy had finished。
〃Jim； Christ； I know；〃 Owen said； feeling as if he'd rehearsed the lines。
He attempted a feeble smile。 Part of him felt removed from within his body。
He was watching himself … Owen … react； seem gentle； seem kind。 〃It's just like that。〃 Then； he looked around at the tourists ing off the ferry； their black and clear and red and green umbrellas all blossoming above their heads； and there； beyond the Crab Shack were six of the island guys he'd grown up with； and when he looked through the thick rain； he saw other people he had known all his life。
〃Look； we can't do this here；〃 Owen said。 〃Get in the truck。〃
10
Owen drove in silence through a rain…shattered world … and followed the slick black island roads until they were nearly to the Great Salt Pond。
Jimmy seemed content with the quiet of the drive。 When Owen glanced over； he noticed that Jimmy pressed his forehead against the window beside him； reminding him somehow of a puppy。 Finally； they came to the end of road…
break that looked out over the enormous pond。 When he'd turned off the ignition； Owen reached over and took Jimmy's hand in his。
〃I know。 It's difficult；〃 Jimmy said。 〃I'm not like this either。 Not really。
There are things I want out of life。 Things that have nothing to do with this。
But right now； Christ； right now； this is it。〃
〃Other people can do this kind of thing； but I can't。 It wouldn't be right。〃
〃No； it wouldn't be。 But we can go somewhere where it'll all be all right。〃
〃Where？〃 Owen laughed。 〃Where would it be right？ My god。 Where？〃
Jimmy recoiled as if he'd been slapped。 〃Out to sea。 In the boat。〃
〃For how long； Jimmy？ How long before your dad cuts you off； or before we move on？ How long before you need to go off to your Ivy League school and then marry and meanwhile； I live in some kind of shame on this island。 I'm not like you。 I'm not like the kind of men who do this with other men。 I'm just。。。Just。〃
〃Just？〃
〃Just not sure what I feel right now。〃
It was easy to lie once Owen knew what he would do with Jimmy。 How he would destroy him。 How it would go easy once everything was in place。
〃Oh； baby；〃 Jimmy moaned； leaning over； into him； pressing his scalp against Owen's neck。 Owen felt wetness along his throat。 〃You don't know how long I've hoped you'd say it。〃
〃We don't need Jenna do we？ Or girls like her；〃 Owen whispered。
〃God； if I could； I'd kill her。〃
〃Who？ Kill？〃
〃I didn't mean that；〃 Owen said； and kissed him on the top of his head。
The rain beat down in great sheets around the truck； and the great clouds roiled； and Owen knew that he had him now。
He had Jimmy right where he wanted him。
Where Dagon wanted him。
Chapter Eight
Dagon
1
〃Owen？〃 his mother asked； holding it in her hand。 The statue。 It had always seemed enormous to him； but in her hand； it was only a foot in length。
The base was cracked； some of its teeth had fallen out； and all it was； after all； in her hand； was something that someone had carved and had left behind。
〃Where'd you get that？〃
〃Where you left it；〃 she said。 She hefted it in her hand。 〃Where did it e from？〃
〃I。。。I found it。〃
〃You found it？〃
〃Yeah； I did。 It's mine。〃 He held his hand out。
〃Did you buy it？〃
〃That's none of your business；〃 he said。 〃That's mine。〃
〃Why did you put it in the fish pond？〃
〃It's an ornament。 It looked nice there。 Give it back。〃
〃It's terrible looking。 It's eyes。 The skin on it。 Who… ever made that thing was sick。 I think some kind of animal was used。 It smells； too。〃
〃Mother。〃
〃Don't mother me。 You may be a young man； but you have a thing or two to learn。 I know you； Owen。 I know how you think。 I saw you that morning。〃
〃What are you talking about？〃
〃I saw you。 You cut your arm and let it bleed on this。。。this thing。〃
〃That's crazy。 Why would I do something crazy like that？ Like … what … like cut myself？ And what … did you say … bleed？〃
〃It's some kind of awful thing； isn't it？ This thing。 It's some awful thing for you。 The way your mind works。〃 She looked at the small statue in her hand； and then back at his face。 She squinted as if trying to see him more clearly。 〃You've never been quite right。 You know that； too。 You know how you're different from other boys； don't you？ Yes； you're crafty and you look good in a suit and you can make your muscles talk for you。 But I know you better than you know yourself； Owen Crites。 I know how cold you are on the inside。 I know how you believe different things。〃 He felt her closing in on him as she moved toward him。 〃What exactly is this thing？ Is this a toy？ Is this something else？ Is this something you talk to？ Is this。。。is this。。。some kind of devil god？ Do you worship graven images now？〃 She said it in a half…joking manner； and that was the worst of it。 She wasn't taking Dagon seriously。 He could feel it in her tone。
Owen felt as if his tongue had been cut out。 He felt a heat rash along his neck。 He looked from the statue to his mother and back again。 Then； he grinned。 〃Don't be ridiculous。 You have such a small mind。 You're so quick to judge me when you yourself are the one with the cold heart。 You set a trap for dad and now you punish him for that same trap。 You can't even love your only child。 And your imagination … your paranoid imagination … finding some carved art in a koi pond； something that you claim you watched me bleed over； did you ever for a moment think that perhaps I hated myself so much that I wanted to slit my wrists？ But something made me stop。 Something kept me from hurting myself。 But it wasn't the thought of you； was it？ It wasn't the love of my mother that saved me； was it？ It was the thought that maybe one day I'd have a moment just like this。 A moment when dad is out of the house。
A moment when you're at your worst。 And then； do you know what I am going to do with you？〃
〃What are you talking about？ Owen？ Owen？〃
〃Give me that；〃 he said； snatching it from her hand。 〃It's mine。 Not yours。〃
She stood before him； trembling。
Owen cradled Dagon in his arms。 He closed his eyes； and whispered a brief prayer。
When he opened them； he said； 〃Here is something I hope you think about until the moment you die。 I am going to be your dutiful son as long as your years continue。 But the moment that I get an inkling that you are old and feeble； I will e to your bedside one night； and I will press my hands over your nose and mouth until you smother to death。 And in those last moments； you will look on me and know that everything you were ever afraid of was true。〃