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And I know I can't make you。。。care for me。。。in a way I happen to care for you。
No one is magician enough for that。 I've thought about you since we were both little kids。 I've always considered you someone special。〃
〃What？〃 she asked in a voice that was barely more than mouse squeak。
〃I know that you'll go on to some really great college and you'll meet lots of guys like Jimmy and you'll e back to the island during the summer and be friendly with me but you'll see me as the island townie who paints houses for a living； or perhaps works on boats。 And you'll have a different life。〃
〃What is this all getting to …〃 Jenna gasped； and then her eyes lit up。
〃You lost the island accent。 You talk like one of us now。〃
She said it as if it was one of the most dreadful things imaginable。 As if the 〃one of us〃 was the worst thing that could happen。
〃That isn't true；〃 Owen said。 Then； he glanced away from her； at the house and the beginnings of the roses his father so lovingly tended。 〃Look； I know I'm nothing to you。 Just consider the gun some kind of protection。 He's dangerous。〃
He walked away from her； his body barely dry from the swimming pool。
She called after him； but he didn't turn。 He walked from the pool to the back lawn； and then disappeared down the path。
4
Another morning； he helped Mr。 M with his golf clubs and luggage； driving the truck up from the ferry。 Mr。 M had almost missed the summer on the island。 〃Business takes a man over；〃 he told Owen on the way up the hill to the house。 He was the biggest man Owen had ever seen … like a bear； but slick； too； and shiny。 He had on dark glasses and a rumpled blue oxford cloth shirt； his skin was like pink snow。 When Owen got to the door with the last of the bags； Mrs。 M （he had to start thinking of her as Cathy if he was going to ever grow up） kissed her husband lightly on the nose。
〃How's the summer？〃
〃Quiet；〃 Mrs。 M said。
〃Where's that boy？〃
〃Which？〃
〃McTeague；〃 Mr。 M said。
〃I think it's over。 She's gone to Dr。 Vaughan three times in two weeks。
That's a record for her；〃 Mrs。 M said； and then turned to Owen。 〃Sweetie； can you go grab the mail？〃
Owen nodded； feeling far too obedient； feeling his heart beating too fast； feeling too much within his frame； as if his muscles were about to twist and untangle and he was afraid for a moment that he had not heard what he thought he'd heard。
5
Owen sat by the koi pond； absorbing the last of an afternoon sun on one of his days off … the weather had gone back and forth； between brief bouts of showers and then sudden sunbursts。 He was about to reach for Dagon beneath the placid green water； when he noticed a shadow reflection move across the water。
He didn't turn； but knew that Jimmy had e up behind him。
〃Aren't you ever going to talk to me again？〃
Owen shrugged。
〃I thought。。。I thought we could。。。we could at least be friends；〃 Jimmy said。 〃I think about you。 All the time。〃
〃Don't e here again；〃 Owen measured his words carefully。 The shadow withdrew； and Owen had the sun again。
6
Owen lay back in the grass and closed his eyes to the sun。 As the violet darkness of his inner mind grew； he began to see the shadow sea of Dagon's realm。 From the dusky waves； a form emerged； a magnificent sea god； its eyes round and without mind； like those of a shark； its body slick as oil with thousands of fins sprouting along its back； and as it grew； Owen knew what the god asked of him。
7
〃I said peel the potatoes；〃 his mother said； but he could see the look in her eyes。 His mother was afraid of him。 A little。 Just a little fear。 That was good。
〃Don't use that tone of voice with me；〃 Owen said almost politely； as he lifted the first potato and brought it to the small sharp knife。
〃Something's missing in the house；〃 she said； but his mother had begun saying strange things for the past few weeks … sentences that didn't go together； phrases that meant something only in her mind。
〃You probably misplaced whatever it is；〃 he told her almost nonchalantly。 〃You've always been like that； haven't you？〃
8
And then； the storm came。
When storms e to Outerbridge； they usually have lost most of their power； they usually have been downgraded from hurricanes by the time they hit Bermuda to Tropical Storms when they reach Long Island； and by the time they make it past Block Island and start heading to the Avalons； it's usually high winds and warm rains but not much damage。 The islanders who are over sixty remember the storm of '53 that 〃took the hats off houses；〃 as they said； and generally made a mess of the summer homes。
The storm that arrived the last week of August was not a terror； nor did it threaten to take the hats off houses。 It was a warm palace of rain and wind and it changed the geometry of the island with its shifts and movements。
The sky became a hardened gray； and the rain was constant； and the koi pond overflowed。 Owen ran outside with his father； newspapers curled over their heads； to try and save the fish as they flip…flopped along the mud and grass； their patchwork colors seeming to melt beneath the downpour。
9
Owen was on his way to work； using his father's truck to get to the Salty Dog； when he saw the figure standing in the pouring rain of afternoon down by the docks。 Owen pulled the truck to the edge of the road and parked。 He got out in the rain； opening his dark umbrella。 The smell of fish was overpowering … it was a stink he was used to； but with the storm it was worse。
Jimmy looked otherworldly： he wore a shiny parka； and his face was pale beneath it。 He nearly galloped over to Owen； and reached out to touch him on the shoulder； but Owen pulled back。 Owen slammed the truck door shut。
〃I'm going to work；〃 Owen said。
〃Mooncalf？〃
〃Leave me alone。〃
〃I thought you … 〃
〃You thought wrong。〃
〃I've been waiting for you。 At the boat。 Every night； I watch you leave the restaurant and walk home。 Every night I wish you'd e to me。〃
〃You disgust me。〃
〃Stop it。 I know that's not true。〃 Jimmy's shoulders began heaving。 The sound of the rain became thunderous and sheets and blocks of it seemed to dump right down around them。 〃God。 God！〃 Jimmy cried out； his arms going up to the sky like some clown； like some revival preacher clown； the rain pouring against his face。 A thunderclap hid the sound of his bleating。 〃If only you knew！ If only you could grow up inside me！ Knowing how I've been pushed and pulled； first my father forcing me into tennis and basketball and soccer since I was six years old； the camps I've gone to every summer； and these schools I go to； and what it all means when inside。。。inside Owen。。。you know something about yourself that's like a doorway into a different world。
Something that's like。。。I don't know。。。like a doorway out of this torture place and into this garden。 When I was nine I had this garden that I helped create。
It had vegetables and flowers in it； nothing pretty and nothing special； but it was mine。 My dad dug it up in the middle of the night。
He dug it up and told me that no son of his was going to be a goddamn gardener。 That's what this feels like。 Like someone is trying to dig up the garden I