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its chest； written in two distinct rows。 Though I can't make out the lower row yet； the top one is posed of two letters： 〃T。I。〃
T。I。 is the mon abbreviation for Tiger Inn； the third oldest of the eating clubs； and the only place on campus where the lunatics run the asylum。 Rarely does Ivy seem so vulnerable as when T。I。 conceives of a new practical joke to try on its venerable sister club。 Tonight is the perfect opportunity。
Stray laughter breaks out in the courtyard； but I have to squint to see why。 The entire group has disguised itself in long gray beards and wigs。 All around us； the closest tents are flooding with students clamoring for a view。
After a brief huddle； the men from T。I。 unravel themselves into a long； single line。 As they do； I finally make out the second row of words written across each toga。 Every man's chest bears a single word； and every word； I see； is a name。 The name on the tallest of them； standing in the middle； is Jesus。 To his left and right are the twelve apostles； six on each side。
Already the laughter and cheers have grown louder。
Kelly clenches her jaw。 I can't tell from Gil's expression whether he's trying to stifle his amusement so as not to offend her； or trying to create the impression that he's entertained by it； when he's not。
The Jesus figure steps forward from the row and raises his arms to silence the audience。 Once the courtyard is quiet； he steps back； utters some mand； and the entire line breaks into choral formation。 Jesus conducts from the side。 Producing a pitch pipe from his toga； he blows a single note。 The sitting row responds by humming it。 The kneeling row joins in with a perfect third。 Finally； just as the two rows seem to be losing their breath； the standing apostles contribute a fifth。
The crowd； impressed by the preparation that has gone into this； claps and cheers once more。
〃Nice toga！〃 someone in a nearby tent yells。
Jesus swivels his head； raises an eyebrow in the direction of the sound； and returns to conducting。 Finally； raising his conductor's baton three times in the air with a flick of the wrist； he throws his arms back theatrically； sweeps them forward again； and the chorus explodes into song。 Their voices； to the tune of the 〃Battle Hymn of the Republic；〃 carry through the courtyard。
We've e to tell the story of the college of the Lord；
But the grapes of wrath fermented in the vintage where
they're stored；
So excuse us if we're all a little drunk out of our gourd。
We saints go marching on。
Glory； Glory； we're the fossils
Of all the Nazarene apostles。
If it weren't for Christ we'd be
Just fishermen from Galilee；
So listen to our tale。
Now； Jesus was your average ancient Middle Eastern male。
He went to public school； but had a special holy grail：
He'd rather burn in hell than go to Harvard or to Yale；
So the choice was pretty clear。
Glory； Glory； God convinced Him；
Jesus Christ； He went to Princeton。
He made the right decision
When he majored in Religion
And the rest is history。
So Christ arrived on campus in the fall of year 18；
The Biggest Man on Campus that the world had ever seen。
It made the other eating clubs turn jealous Ivy green
When Jesus chose T。I。
Now two apostles from the first row stand and step forward。 The first unravels a scroll that reads 〃Ivy〃 and the second unravels one that reads 〃Cottage。〃 After thrusting their noses in the air at one another and prancing self…importantly around Jesus； the song continues。
Chorus： Glory； Glory； Jesus bickered；
All the snooty heathens snickered。
Ivy： We couldn't take a Jew；
Cottage： A carpenter won't do；
Chorus： So the Lord； He joined T。I。
Kelly clenches her fists so tightly she almost draws blood。
Now the twelve apostles emerge from the choral formation into a kick line and； with Jesus at the center； lock arms； pump their legs deftly into the air； and conclude：
Jesus； Jesus； He's a fun guy。
Thanks to Him we're all alumni。
There's nothing so divine
As turning water into wine；
His truth is marching on。
With that； all thirteen men turn around and； with choreographed precision； raise the backs of their togas to reveal a message written across their buttocks； one letter per cheek：
HAPPY EASTER FROM THE TIGER INN
A rowdy bination of wild clapping； boisterous cheering； and stray boos ensues。 Then； just as the thirteen men are preparing to leave； a loud cracking sound es from across the courtyard； followed by the crash of glass breaking。
Heads turn in the direction of the noise。 On the top story of Dickinson； the history department building； a light flickers on； then off。 One of the windowpanes has been shattered。 In the darkness； I can see movement。
A T。I。 apostle begins to cheer loudly。
〃What's going on？〃 I ask。 Squinting； I can make out a person near the broken glass。
〃This isn't funny；〃 Kelly growls at Judas； who has drifted within earshot。
He snubs his nose。
〃What's he doing？〃 she demands； pointing at the window。
Judas thinks for a second。
〃He's going to piss。〃 He laughs tipsily； then repeats； 〃He's going to piss out the window。〃
Kelly storms after the Jesus figure。
〃What the hell's going on； Derek？〃 she says。
The figure in the office appears； then vanishes。 From his jerkiness I sense he's drunk。 At one moment he seems to be pawing the broken glass； then he disappears。
〃I think there's someone else up there；〃 Charlie says。
Suddenly the entire body of the man es into view。 He's backed against the lead panes of the window。
〃He's gonna piss；〃 Judas repeats。
From the remaining apostles there arises a sloppy cry of 〃Jump！ Jump！〃
Kelly wheels on them。 〃Shut up； goddamn it！ Go get him down！〃
Again the man disappears from sight。
〃I don't think he's from T。I。；〃 Charlie says with concern。 〃I think that's some drunk guy from the Nude Olympics。〃
But the man was wearing clothes。 I look into the darkness； trying to make out the shapes。 This time； the man doesn't return。
Beside me； the stewed apostles boo。
〃Jump！〃 one of them cries again； but Derek pushes him back and tells him to stay quiet。
〃Get the hell out of here；〃 Kelly orders。
〃Easy； girl；〃 Derek says； and begins rounding up the stray disciples。
Gil watches all of this with the same inscrutable look of amusement he was wearing when the men first arrived。 Glancing at his watch； he says； 〃Well； looks like we've sucked all the fun out of thi…〃
〃Holy shit！〃 Charlie cries。
His voice nearly drowns out the echo of the second cracking sound。 This time I hear the report clearly。 It's a gunshot。
Gil and I turn just in time to see it。 The man explodes backward through the glass； and for a matter of seconds he stays frozen in free fall。 With a muted thud； his body hits the snow； and the impact sucks all the noise and motion from the courtyard。
Then there is nothing。
The first thing I remember is the sound of Charlie's feet as he dashes toward the body in the snow。 Then a large crowd follows； converging around the scene； blocking my view。
〃Oh； Jesus；〃 Gil whispers。
Voices in the huddle shout； 〃Is he okay