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I held out my hand to Micah； not because of otherworldly energy； apparently depression dampens that； but because I wanted the touch of another hand。 I wanted the fort； and I didn't want to have to think about it。 I just wanted to be held。
He widened his eyes； but took my hand； squeezing it gently。 I started walking towards the trees； leading him by the hand。 The others followed us。 Even the swan king and the wererats。 Anita Blake； preternatural pied piper。 The thought should have made me smile。 But it didn't。
28
TWO HOURS LATER I'd had a shower and Gregory had had a bath； though I'd showered by myself； and Gregory had had pany。 He still didn't have plete use of his arms and legs。 I didn't think that Cherry； Zane； and Nathaniel needed to get naked and in the tub with him； but； hey； I wasn't offering to help； so who was I to plain？ Besides； it never became sexual； it was as if the touch of their flesh on his was necessary； part of the healing process。 Maybe it was。
I was sitting at my new kitchen table。 My old two…seater table just hadn't been roomy enough for all the wereleopards to have bagels and cream cheese at the same time。 The new table was pale pine； varnished to a golden glow。 There still wasn't enough room at the table for everyone to sit and drink coffee； but it was closer。 I'd have needed a banquet table to have that much room； and the kitchen wasn't long enough for it。 There was more than one reason that feudal lords had had great big castles you needed the room just to feed and care for all your people。
The only person sitting in the dimly lit kitchen was Dr。 Lillian。 Elizabeth had been transported to the secret hospital that the shapeshifters kept in St。 Louis。 All my other leopards were tending to Gregory。 Micah and his cats wandered around the periphery of it all。 Caleb had tried to include himself in the bath and had been refused。 The rest of Micah's pard seemed unsettled； nervous； not knowing what to do with themselves。 I had my priority for the evening taking care of Gregory。 Everything else could wait。 One disaster at a time； or you lose your way； and your mind。
Dr。 Lillian was a small woman with gray hair cut straight just above her shoulders。 Her hair was longer than the first time I met her； but everything else was the same。 I'd never seen her wear makeup； and her face still looked pleasant and attractive in a fifty…plus sort of way though I'd discovered she was actually well over sixty。 She certainly didn't look it。
〃The drugs are still in his system；〃 Dr。 Lillian said。
〃Drugs； plural？〃 I asked。
She nodded。 〃Our metabolism is so fast that it takes quite a cocktail of chemicals to keep us sedated for any length of time。〃
〃Gregory wasn't sedated。 He seemed very much aware of everything that was happening；〃 I said。
〃But his heart； his breathing； his involuntary reflexes were all subdued。 If you can't access the full effects of an adrenaline rush； you can't change shape。〃
〃Why not？〃
Lillian shrugged； taking a small sip of her coffee。 〃We don't know； but there is something in the extremes of the fight or flight response that opens the way for our beast。 If you can deprive a shapeshifter of that response； then you can keep them from shifting。〃
〃Indefinitely？〃 I asked。
〃No； the full moon will bring it on； no matter what drugs you pump into someone。〃
〃How long until Gregory's back to normal？〃
Her eyes flicked downward； then up； and I didn't like that she'd needed that second to school her eyes； as if something bad were ing。
〃The drugs will probably wear off in about eight hours； maybe more； maybe less。 It depends on so many things。〃
〃So he stays here until the drugs wear off； then he shapeshifts and he's fine； right？〃 I put a lilt at the end； making it a question； because I knew the atmosphere was too serious for it to be that easy。
〃I'm afraid not；〃 she said。
〃What's wrong； doc； why so solemn？〃
She gave a small smile。 〃In eight hours the damage to Gregory's ears may be permanent。〃
I blinked at her。 〃You mean he'll stay deaf？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃That's not acceptable；〃 I said。
Her smile widened。 〃You say that as if by sheer will you can change things； Anita。 It makes you seem very young。〃
〃Are you telling me that there's nothing we can do to heal him？〃
〃No； I'm not saying that。〃
〃Please； doc； just tell me。〃
〃If you were truly Nimir…Ra； then you might be able to call his beast out of his flesh and force the change； even with the drugs in his system。〃
〃If someone can tell me how to do it； I'm willing to give it a shot。〃
〃So you believe that you will be Nimir…Ra in truth e full moon？〃 Lillian asked。
I shrugged and sipped my coffee。 〃Not a hundred percent sure； no； but the evidence is sort of mounting up。〃
〃How do you feel about that？〃
〃Being Nimir…Ra for real？〃 I asked。
She nodded。
〃I'm trying really hard not to think too much about it。〃
〃Ignoring it won't make it go away； Anita。〃
〃I know that； but worrying about it won't change things either。〃
〃Very practical of you； if you can pull it off。〃
〃What； not worrying？〃
She nodded again。
I shrugged。 〃I'll worry about each disaster as it happens。〃
〃Can you really partmentalize to that degree？〃
〃How do we fix Gregory？〃
〃I take that as a yes；〃 she said。
I smiled。 〃Yes。〃
〃As I said； if you were a Nimir…Ra in full power； you might be able to call his beast； even through the drugs。〃
〃But since I haven't shifted yet； I can't？〃
〃I doubt it。 It's a rather specialized skill； even among full shapeshifters。〃
〃Can Rafael do it？〃
She smiled； the smile that most of the wererats got when you asked about their king。 It was a smile that held warmth and pride。 They liked and respected him。 Let's hear it for good leadership。
〃No。〃
That surprised me； and it must have shown on my face。
〃I told you； it is a rare talent。 Your Ulfric can do it。〃
I looked at her。 〃You mean Richard？〃
〃Do you have another Ulfric？〃 she asked； smiling。
I almost smiled back。 〃No； but we need someone who can call leopards； right？〃
She nodded。
〃How about Micah？〃
〃I've already asked him。 Neither he nor Merle can call another's beast。 Micah did offer to try and heal Gregory by calling flesh； but the injuries are beyond him。〃
〃When did Micah try and heal Gregory？〃
〃While you were cleaning up；〃 she said。
〃I took a quick shower。〃
〃It didn't take long for him to be certain that Gregory's injuries were above his abilities。〃
〃You wouldn't be belaboring the point if there wasn't some hope。〃
〃I can use other drugs to try and overe the effects。〃
〃But 。。。 〃 I said。
〃But the mix of the drugs could explode his heart or rupture enough blood vessels in other major organs to kill him。〃
I stared at her for a heartbeat or two。 〃How bad are the odds？〃
〃Bad enough that I need his Nimir…Ra's permission before trying。〃
〃Has Gregory given his permission？〃
〃He's terrified。 He wants to be able to hear again。 Of course he wants me to try； but I'm not sure he's thinking clearly。〃
〃So you're ing to me like you'd go to a parent for a child；〃 I said。
〃I need someone who is thinking clearly to make a decision on Gregory behalf。〃