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up faster and faster。 Or maybe that was just me projecting my own insecurities。 I'd turned twenty…six early in the year； and； frankly； at the rate I was going； I probably wouldn't have to worry about hitting thirty。 Death cures all ills。 Well； most of them。
There had been one man who had attached himself to me instead of Ronnie。 I didn't understand why。 She was a tall leggy blond； dancing like she was having sex with the music。 But he offered me drinks。 I don't drink。 He tried to slow dance。 I refused。 I finally had to be rude。 Ronnie told me to dance with him； at least he was human。 I told her that birthday guilt only went so far； and she'd used hers up。
The last thing on God's green earth that I needed was another man in my life。 I didn't have a clue what to do with the two I had already。 The fact that they were； respectively； a Master Vampire and an Ulfric； werewolf king； was only part of the problem。 That fact alone should let you know just how deep a hole I was digging。 Or would that be； already have dug？ Yeah； already dug。 I was about halfway to China and still throwing dirt up in the air。
I'd been celibate for six months。 So； as far as I knew； had they。 Everyone was waiting for me to make up my mind。 Waiting for me to choose； or decide； something； anything。
I'd been a rock for half a year； because I'd stayed away from them。 I hadn't seen them； in the flesh anyway。 I had returned no phone calls。 I had run for the hills at the first hint of cologne。 Why such drastic measures？ Frankly； because almost every time I saw them； I fell off the chastity wagon。 They both had my libido； but I was trying to decide who had my heart。 I still didn't know。 The only thing I had decided was that it was time to stop hiding。 I had to see them and figure out what we were all going to do。 I'd decided two weeks ago that I needed to see them。 It was the day that I refilled my birth…control pill prescription； and started taking it again。 The very last thing I needed was a surprise pregnancy。 That the first thing I thought of when I thought of Richard and Jean…Claude was to go back on birth control tells you something about the effect they had on me。
You needed to be on the pill for at least a month to be safe； or as safe as you ever got。 Four more weeks； five to be sure； then I'd call。 Maybe。
I heard Ronnie's heels running on the gravel。 〃Anita； Anita； wait； don't be angry。〃
The thing was； I wasn't angry with her。 I was angry with me。 Angry that after all these months I still couldn't decide between the two men。 I stopped walking and waited for her； huddled in my little black skirt outfit； the little foil swan in my hands。 The night had turned cool enough to make me wish I'd worn a jacket。 When Ronnie caught up with me I started walking again。
〃I'm not mad； Ronnie； just tired。 Tired of you； my family； Dolph； Zerbrowski； everyone being so damned judgmental。〃 My heels hit the sidewalk with sharp clacks。 Jean…Claude had once said he could tell if I was angry just by the sound of my heels on the floor。 〃Watch your step。 You're wearing higher heels than I am。〃 Ronnie was five feet eight； which meant with heels she was nearly six feet。
I was wearing two…inch heels； which put me at five five。 I get a much better workout when Ronnie and I jog together than she does。
The phone was ringing as I juggled the key and the foil…wrapped leftovers。 Ronnie took the leftovers； and I shoved the door open with my shoulder。 I was running across the floor in my high heels before I remembered that I was on vacation。 Which meant whatever emergency was calling at 2：05 in the morning was not my problem； not for another two weeks at least。 But old habits die hard； and I was at the phone before I remembered。 I actually let the machine pick up while I stood there； heart pounding。 I was planning on ignoring it； but 。。。 but I still stood ready to grab the receiver just in case。
Loud； booming music； and a man's voice。 I didn't recognize the music； but I recognized the voice。 〃Anita； it's Gregory。 Nathaniel's in trouble。〃
Gregory was one of the wereleopards I'd inherited when I killed their alpha； their leader。 As a human； I wasn't really up to the job； but until I found a replacement； even I was better than nothing。 Wereanimals without a dominant to protect them were anyone's meat； and if someone moved in and slaughtered them； it would sort of be my fault。 So I acted as their protector； but the job was more plicated than I'd ever dreamed。 Nathaniel was the problem。 All the others were rebuilding their lives since their old leader had been killed； but not Nathaniel。 He'd had a hard life： abused； raped； pimped out； and topped。 Topped meant he'd been someone's slave as in sex and pain。 He was one of the few true submissives I'd ever met； though； admittedly； my pool of acquaintance was limited。
I cursed softly and picked up the phone。 〃I'm here； Gregory； what's happened now？〃 Even to me； my voice sounded tired and half…angry。
〃If I had anyone else to call； Anita； I'd call them； but you're it。〃 He sounded tired and angry； too。 Great。
〃Where's Elizabeth？ She was supposed to be riding herd on Nathaniel tonight。〃 I'd finally agreed that Nathaniel could start going out to the dominance and submission clubs if he was acpanied by Elizabeth and at least one other wereleopard。 Tonight it had been Gregory riding shotgun； but without Elizabeth； Gregory wasn't dominant enough to keep Nathaniel safe。 A normal submissive would have been safe in one of the clubs with someone there to simply say； 〃no thanks； we'll pass。〃 But Nathaniel was one of those rare subs who are almost incapable of saying no； and there had been hints made that his idea of pain and sex could be very extreme。 Which meant that he might say yes to things that were very； very bad for him。 Wereanimals can take a lot of injury and not be permanently damaged； but there is a limit。 A healthy bottom will say stop when he's had too much or he feels something bad happening； but Nathaniel wasn't that healthy。 So he had keepers with him to make sure no one really bad got ahold of him。 But it was more than that。 A good dominant trusts his sub to say when before the damage is too great。 The dom trusts the sub to know his own body and have enough self…preservation to call out before he is in past what his body can take。 Nathaniel did not e with that safety feature； which meant a dominant with the best of intentions could end up hurting him badly before realizing Nathaniel wouldn't help himself。
I actually had acpanied Nathaniel a few times。 As his Nimir…ra it was sort of my job to interview prospective 。。。 keepers。 I'd gone prepared for the clubs to be one of the lower circles of hell and had been pleasantly shocked。 I'd had more trouble with sexual propositions in a normal bar on a Saturday night。 In the clubs everyone was very careful not to impose on you or to be seen as pushy。 It was a small munity； and if you got a reputation for being obnoxious； you could find yourself blacklisted； with no one to play with。 I'd found the people in the scene were polite； and once you made it clear you were not there to play； no one bothered you； except tourists。 Tourists were posers； people not really into