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way。 It was more extreme empathy； as if I could read every nuance on his face； the smallest change； and know what it meant。
I was still pressed in the circle of Richard's and Jean…Claude's arms； a strange amount of bare skin touching all of us my back； Richard's chest and stomach； Jean…Claude's arm。 There was something incredibly right about the touching； the closeness。 I felt Jean…Claude's attention turn； before I moved my head to meet his eyes。
The look in those drowning eyes held worlds of things unsaid； unasked； all so tremblingly close。 Because for once he didn't see in my eyes the barriers that kept all those words trapped。 It had to be the marriage of the marks affecting me； but that night I think he could have asked me anything； anything； and I wasn't sure I'd say no。
What he finally said was； 〃Shall we retire to privacy to discuss business with Narcissus？〃 His voice had its usual smoothness。 Only his eyes held uncertainty and a need so large he almost had no words for it。 We'd all waited so long for my surrender。 I knew that the phrasing wasn't mine。 It sounded more like something Jean…Claude would think； but with Richard also pressed against my body I wasn't really sure who was thinking it。 I only knew it hadn't been me。
Even before the marks had merged I'd had moments like this。 Moments when their thoughts invaded mine； overrode mine。 The images had been the worst nightmare flashes of feeding on the warm bodies of animals； of drinking blood from people I didn't know。 It had been this mingling； this loss of self； that had terrified me； sent me running for anything that would keep me whole keep me myself。 Tonight； that just didn't seem important。 Definitely an aftereffect of the metaphysical union of marks。 But knowing what it was didn't make it go away。 It was a dangerous night。
Jean…Claude said； 〃Ma petite； are you well？ I am feeling much better； energized in fact。 Are you still ill？〃
I shook my head。 〃No； I feel fine。〃 Fine didn't really cover it。 Energized was a good word for it； but there were others。 How long could it take to rescue the wereleopards from yet another disaster？ The night wasn't young； dawn would e； and I wanted to be alone with them before that。 I realized with a jolt that ran all the way down my body； that tonight was it。 If we could get some privacy and not be interrupted； all things would suddenly be possible。
Richard and Jean…Claude both stood up； in a boneless movement of grace for the vampire and pure energy for the werewolf。 I gazed at them as they stood above me； and I was suddenly eager to have the other business done with。 I wasn't as worried about the leopards as I should have been； and that did bother me。 Whatever this effect was； it was distracting me from more important things。 Saving the leopards was why I'd e。 It was the first time I'd really thought of them in a while。
I shook my head trying to clear it of sex and magic and the weight of possibilities in Richard's eyes。 Jean…Claude's eyes were more cautious； but I'd taught him caution where I was concerned。
I held my hands up to both of them。 I never asked for help to stand unless I was bleeding or something was broken。 The two of them exchanged glances； then they held their hands out to me； again in perfect unison； like choreographed dancers who knew what the other would do。
They could feel my desire； but that had always been there； it told them nothing。 I took their hands and let them lift me up。 They were both still looking unsure； almost suspicious； as if they were waiting for me to recoil from them and run screaming from the intimacy of it all。 I had to smile。 〃If we can get everyone all tucked in safe and sound before dawn； all things will be possible。〃
They exchanged another look between them。 Jean…Claude made a small movement； as if encouraging Richard。 It was a tiny； almost…push with his head； as if to say； Go ahead； ask。 Normally； seeing them plot behind my back pissed me off； but not that night。
〃Do you mean 。。。 〃 Richard let the thought trail off。
I nodded； and Richard's hand tightened on mine。 Jean…Claude's hand was strangely quiet in mine。 〃You do realize； ma petite； that this new 。。。 〃 he hesitated； 〃willingness； may be a by…product of joining the marks tonight。 I don't wish you to accuse us later of trickery。〃
〃I know what it is； and I don't care。〃 I should have； but I didn't。 It was like being drunk； or drugged； and even thinking that made no difference。
I was looking at Jean…Claude； and I saw him let out the breath he'd been holding。 I felt Richard do the same。 It was as if a great weight had been taken from both of them。 And I knew that I was that burden。 I'd try not to be a burden from now on。 〃Let's get this over with and go get the leopards；〃 I said。
Jean…Claude raised my hand to his mouth； brushing the knuckles across his lips。 〃And be gone from this place。〃
I nodded。 〃And be gone from this place；〃 I said。
6
I'D BEEN PLAINING to Jean…Claude for years that his decorating scheme was too monochromatic； but one look at Narcissus's bedroom and I knew I owed Jean…Claude an apology。 The room was done in black； and I mean black。 The walls； the hardwood floor； the drawn drapes against one wall； the bed。 The only color in the room was the silver chains and the silver…colored implements hanging from the wall。 The color of the steel seemed to accentuate the blackness rather than relieve it。 Chains dangled from the ceiling above the huge bed。 It was bigger than king…sized。 The only term that came to mind was orgy…sized。 The bed was four…postered； with the largest； heaviest； darkest wood I'd ever seen。 More chains dangled from the four posts； set in heavy permanent rings。 If I'd been on a date； I'd have turned and run for it。 But this wasn't a date； and in we all trooped。
My understanding about most people who were into D and S was that their bedrooms were separate from their 〃dungeons。〃 Nearby perhaps； but not the same room。 You needed somewhere to go to actually sleep。 Maybe Narcissus just never rested from the fun and games。
There was a door in the opposite wall； and the drapes were drawn over the middle of one wall。 Maybe his real bed was behind door number two or the drapes。 I hoped so。
The only chair in the room had straps attached to it； so Narcissus offered us the bed to sit on。 I don't know if I would have sat down or not； but first Jean…Claude； then Richard did。 Jean…Claude settled against the black bedspread as he did everything； with grace； settling his body against the pillows as if he felt utterly fortable。 But it was Richard who surprised me。 I expected to see in him some of the disfort I felt about the room； but he didn't seem in the least unfortable。 In fact； I realized for the first time that the heavy leather cuffs at his wrists and the collar at his throat had metal hooks in them； so they could be attached to chains or a leash。 He'd probably worn them so he could blend into the club scene； as I'd worn the boots。 But 。。。 but I could feel that he was calm about the room and everything in it。 I wasn't。
I looked at Jean…Claude and Richard and knew I'd decided to sleep with both of them tonight； however we arranged it。 But seeing th