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he surface； trapped by the drugs that still made Gregory's body a prison and the shock that had further dampened everything I needed to call。 But I knew that it didn't have to be gentle。 I might not have been along for the ride when Richard brought Stephen's beast； but I'd seen it； and I knew enough of power to guess what he'd done。
〃I'll try not to hurt you；〃 I said； but I thrust my power into Gregory。 I felt it hit his chest and sink into him like a large flesh…and…fur blade。
Gregory gasped； back arching； just a little。
I found his beast like a curled cat； asleep； sluggish； and I grabbed it in my hand； sank claws in it and pulled it screaming into the air。 I ripped his beast out of him； and Gregory shifted； as Stephen had shifted in an explosion of blood； flesh； and fluid。 I was covered in it； so thick I had to scoop it out of my eyes to see。 To see that yellow and black spotted man…leopard lying hunched on the table。 I watched Stephen e to sniff along his brother's shivering body。
〃Gregory； Gregory； can you hear me？〃 I asked； and my voice was softer than I meant it to be。
Gregory blinked leopard eyes at me； but a growling voice came out of that furred throat。 〃I can hear you。〃
Stephen threw his head back and bayed。 Jamil echoed him； and the leopards' screams of triumph filled the night。
36
DAWN WAS SLIDING through the trees in a wash of white； white light that left the trees looking like black paper cutouts against the shining sky when I pulled the curtains and filled the bedroom with twilight dimness。 I'd put very heavy curtains in the room when Jean…Claude had been a frequent visitor。 The bedside lamp seemed dim after the glow of sunrise。 Nathaniel sat on the edge of the bed by the lamp。 He was wearing the bottoms of silk pajama shorts。 They were a pale lavender silk that echoed his eyes and looked too delicate a color for men's sleepwear。 I always suspected the shorts were originally designed for a woman； but shorts were shorts。
The lamplight caught red highlights in his auburn hair； where it gleamed down the side of his body like something warm and alive； almost separate。 Strangely； in wereleopard form； he was a black panther； so that auburn hair vanished once he left human form。
Nathaniel was the only one of the wereleopards still in human form。 So he was the only one that got to share my bed。 If they were kitty…cats； they had to sleep elsewhere； but in human form we tried to be a big pile of puppies。 Somehow it was less fy with only Nathaniel than it would have been with more of them。 Maybe it was the fact that his right nipple still had a circle of my teeth marks。
〃Shouldn't the bite marks have healed by now？〃 I asked。
〃I don't heal as quickly as some；〃 he said softly。 〃And marks made by another shapeshifter； or even a vampire； heal more slowly。〃
〃Why is that？〃
He shrugged。 〃Why does silver kill us； and steel not？〃
〃Point taken；〃 I said。 I ran my hand through my still…damp hair。 I'd showered and was actually wearing pajamas； not an oversized T…shirt； which was my usual sleep attire。 Though pajamas may have been too big a word for the emerald green camisole and matching short…shorts。 There was a floor…length robe in the same vibrant green； so everything was covered； but Nathaniel knew I hadn't dressed up for him。 Or at least I hoped he did。
He watched me pacing the room with careful eyes。 We had crossed a line； he and I； and the mark on his chest just kept reminding me of it。 I didn't think that Richard would tolerate Nathaniel and me sharing the bed alone； not that I really expected the three of us to bunk together； either。 Oh； hell； I didn't know what I expected。 I had expected Richard to e to me after his shower。 But he was a no…show； and it was dawn； and I was tired。
There was a firm knock on the door。 I said； 〃e in；〃 with my heart beating a little too fast。 Merle opened the door； and I hoped my disappointment didn't show on my face。 His own face registered nothing； so I couldn't judge what he saw on mine。
〃The Ulfric is in the kitchen。〃 He did look unfortable then。 〃He is crying。〃
I felt my eyes widen。 〃Excuse me？〃
Merle looked down； then up； almost defiant。 〃He has ordered his bodyguard out of the room； and he is crying。 I do not know why。〃
I sighed。 Although I was tired； I was excited at the thought of Richard being in the house； of him ing to me； maybe。 Instead of sex we were going to have another session of hand…holding； and shoulder…crying。 Damn it。
I felt my shoulders slump and forced myself to stand upright again。 I didn't have to ask why Merle had told me。 Who else would Richard take fort from？ I wasn't even a hundred percent sure he'd take fort from me。
I went for the door。 Merle held it open for me； and I walked under his arm without having to duck。 〃Thanks for telling me； Merle；〃 I muttered as I went out into the darkened living room。
Shang…Da was leaning against the wall by the open doorway that led into the kitchen。 He looked as unfortable as I'd ever seen him。 He wouldn't meet my eyes。 What was going on？
Caleb was settled on the couch with a blanket and an extra pillow。 He was sitting up； the blanket bunched in his lap。 He was nude from the waist up and probably nude from the waist down if no one had made him wear jammies。 I hoped someone had remembered to put a sheet on the couch。 He watched me walk across the room； and even in the dim light from the kitchen I didn't like the way his eyes followed me。
〃Nice robe；〃 he said。
I ignored him and went for the doorway。 Richard sat at the kitchen table； opened all the curtains so that the room was filled with the soft light of dawn。 His shoulder…length hair had been blow…dried to a soft； fluffy mass。 I could never blow…dry my hair without it turning to something thick and awful…looking。 The early morning light made his hair look more golden than normal； less brown。 He looked up； and I realized the gold glow was a halo effect of the rising sun。 It painted a nimbus of shining gold around him； leaving his hair light brown around his face； making the skin at the center of his body look even darker than it was； almost like it was in shadow。
I had a moment to see the shine of tears on his shadowed face； then he lowered his head and twisted in his chair so I couldn't see。 The movement placed more of his body in the burning golden light； but the illusion of halos and shadow was gone。
I walked to the table； stood close enough to touch his bare shoulder； not sure if I should。 〃Richard； what's wrong？〃
He shook his head； still not looking at me。
I reached out； touched the smoothness of his shoulder gently。 He didn't tell me to go away； and he didn't pull away。 Okay。 I touched the tears on the cheek closest to me； smoothed them away with my hand。 It reminded me of forting Nathaniel earlier。
I touched Richard's chin； turned his face to me； and dried the tears on his other cheek with the sleeve of my robe。 〃Talk to me； Richard； please。〃
He smiled。 Maybe it was the 〃please。〃 I didn't use that word often。 〃I've never seen this before。〃 He touched the sleeve very gently。
I wasn't going to be distracted； not even by him noticing what I'd worn with him in mind。 〃You have