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I heard a sound。 It would be Dad； Dworkin； Fiona； ing。 I had to do something before they reached me。 I had to walk it； in a moment。。。
I pulled my gaze away from the Pattern and glanced back toward the cavemouth。 They had emerged； e partway down the slope and halted。 Why？ Why had they stopped？
What did it matter？ I had the time I needed in which to begin。 I began to raise my foot； to step forward。
I could barely move。 I inched my foot ahead with a great effort of will。 Taking this first step was proving worse than walking the Pattern itself； near to the end。 But it did not seem so much an external resistance I fought against as it did the sluggishness at my own body。 It was almost as if …
Then I had me an image of Benedict beside the Pattern in Tir…na Nog'th； Brand approaching； mocking； the Jewel burning upon his breast。
Before I looked down； I knew what I would see。 The red stone was pulsing in time with my heartbeat。 Damn them！
Either Dad or Dworkin … or both of them … readied through it at this instant； paralyzing me。 I did not doubt that either of them could manage it alone。 Still； at this distance； it was not worth surrendering without a fight。
I continued to push forward with my foot； sliding it slowly ahead toward the edge of the Pattern。 Once I made it； I did not see how they。。。
Drowsing。。。 I felt myself beginning to fall。 I had been asleep for a moment。 It happened again。
When I opened my eyes； I could see a portion of the Pattern。 When I turned my head； I saw feet。
When I looked up； I saw Dad holding the Jewel。
〃Go away；〃 he said to Dworkin and Fiona； without turning his head toward them。
They withdrew as he placed the Jewel about his own neck。 He leaned forward then and extended his hand。 I took it and he drew me to my feet。
〃That was a damfool thing to do；〃 he said。
〃I almost made it。〃
He nodded。
〃Of course； you would have killed yourself and not acplished anything；〃 he said。 〃But it was well done nevertheless。 e on； let's walk。〃
He took my arm； and we began to move about the periphery of the Pattern。
I watched that strange sky…sea； horizonless about us； as we went。 I wondered what would have happened had I been able to begin the Pattern； what would be happening at that moment。
〃You have changed；〃 he finally said； 〃or else I never really knew you。〃
I shrugged。
〃Something of both perhaps。 I was about to say the same of you。 Tell me something？〃
〃What？〃
〃How difficult was it for you； being Ganelon？〃
He chuckled。
〃Not hard at all；〃 he said。 〃You may have had a glimpse of the real me。〃
〃I liked him。 Or； rather； you being him。 I wonder whatever became of the real Ganelon？〃
〃Long dead； Corwin。 I met him after you had exiled him from Avalon； long ago。 He wasn't a bad chap。 Wouldn't have trusted him worth a damn； but then I never trust anyone I don't have to。〃
〃It runs in the family。〃
〃I regretted having to kill him。 Not that he gave me much choice。 All this was very long ago； but I remembered him clearly； so he must have impressed me。〃
〃And Lorraine？〃
〃The country？ A good job； I thought。 I worked the proper shadow。 It grew in strength by my very presence； as any will if one of us stays around for long … as with you in Avalon； and later that other place。 And I saw that I had a long while there by exercising my will upon its time…stream。〃
〃I did not know that could be done。〃
〃You grow in strength slowly； beginning with your initiation into the Pattern。 There are many things you have yet to learn。 Yes； I strengthened Lorraine； and made it especially vulnerable to the growing force of the black road。 I saw that it would lie in your path； no matter where you went。 After your escape； all roads led to Lorraine。〃
〃Why？〃
〃It was a trap I had set for you； and maybe a test。 I wanted to be with you when you met the forces of Chaos。 I also wanted to travel with you for a time。〃
〃A test？ What were you testing me for？ And why travel with me？〃
〃Can you not guess？ I have watched all of you over the years。 I never named a successor。 I purposely left the matter muddled。 You are all enough like me for me to know that the moment I declared for one of you I would be signing his or her death warrant。 No； I intentionally left things as they were until the very end。 Now； though； I have decided。 It is to be you。〃
〃You municated with me； as yourself； briefly； back in Lorraine。 You told me then to take the throne。 If you had made up your mind at that point why did you continue the masquerade？〃
〃But I had not decided then。 That was merely a means to assure your continuing。 I feared you might e to like that girl too much； and that land。 When you emerged a hero from the Black Circle you might have decided to settle and stay there。 I wanted to plant the notions that would cause you to continue your Journey。〃
I was silent for a long while。 We had moved a good distance about the Pattern。
Then； 〃There is something that I have to know；〃 I said。 〃Before I came here I was speaking with Dara； who is in the process of trying to clear her name with us …〃
〃It is clear；〃 he said。 〃I have cleared it。〃
I shook my head。
〃I refrained from accusing her of something I have been thinking about for some time。 There is a very good reason why I felt she cannot be trusted； despite her protests and your endorsement。 Two reasons； in fact。〃
〃I know； Corwin。 But she did not kill Benedict's servants to manage her position at his house。 I did it myself； to assure her getting to you as she did； at just the appropriate time。〃
〃You？ You were party to her whole plot？ Why？〃
〃She will make you a good queen； son。 I trust the blood of Chaos for strength。 It was time for a fresh infusion。 You will take the throne already provided with an heir。 By the time he is ready for it。 Merlin will long have been weaned from his upbringing。〃
We had e all the way around to the place of the black smear。 I stopped。 I squatted and studied it。
〃You think this thing is going to kill you？〃 I finally asked。
〃I know that it is。〃
〃You are not above murdering innocent people to manipulate me。 Yet you would sacrifice your life for the kingdom。〃
I looked at him。
〃My own hands are not clean；〃 I said； 〃and I certainly do not presume to judge you。 A while back； though； when I made ready to try the Pattern； I thought how my feelings had changed … toward Eric； toward the throne。 You do what you do； I believe； as a duty。 I； too； feel a duty now； toward Amber； toward the throne。 More than that； actually。 Much more； I realized； just then。 But I realized something else； also； something that duty does not require of me。 I do not know when or how it stopped and I changed； but I do not want the throne； Dad。 I am sorry it messes up your plans； but I do not want to be king of Amber。 I am sorry。〃
I looked away then； back down at the smear。 I heard him sigh。
Then； 〃I am going to send you home now；〃 he said。 〃Saddle your horse and take provisions。 Ride to a place outside Amber … any place； fairly isolated。〃
〃My tomb？〃
He snorted and chuckled faintly。
〃That will do。 Go there and wait my pleasure。 I have some thinking to do。〃
I stood。 He reached out and placed hi