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s enough to make her fear the worst Oscar； she suspected； hadn't soothed their feathers in a long time。 So where was he？ Back at the estate； lying dead in the long grass？ If so； it would be folly to go back there now and look for him； with darkness an hour away at most。 Besides； when she thought back to her last glimpse of him； she was reasonably certain she'd seen him rising to his feet； framed against the door。 He was robust； despite his excesses。 She couldn't believe he was dead。 In hiding； more like： concealing himself from the Tabula Rasa。 With that thought in mind she returned to the front door and scribbled an anonymous note； telling him she was alive and well； and slipped it into the letter box。 He'd know who'd penned it。 Who else would write that the Express had brought her home； safe and sound？
A little after ten…thirty she was preparing for bed when she heard somebody calling her name from the street。 She went to the balcony and looked out to see Clem standing on the pavement below； hollering for all he was worth。 It was many months since they'd spoken； and her pleasure at the sight of him was tinged with guilt at her neglect。 But from the relief in his voice at her appearance； and the fervor of his hug； she knew he hadn't e to squeeze apologies out of her。 He needed to tell her something extraordinary； he said； but before he did （she'd think he was crazy； he warned）； he needed a drink。 Could she get him a brandy？
She could and did。
He fairly guzzled it； then said； 〃Where's Gentle？〃
The question； and his demanding tone； caught her off guard； and she floundered。 Gentle wanted to be invisible； and furious as she was with him； she felt obliged to respect that wish。 But Clem needed to know badly。
〃He's been away； hasn't he？ Klein told me he tried calling； but the phone was cut off。 Then he wrote Gentle a letter； and it was never answered…〃
〃Yes；〃 Jude said。 〃I believe he's been away。〃
〃But he just came back。〃
〃Did he？〃 she replied； more puzzled by the moment。 〃Maybe you know better than I do。〃
〃Not me；〃 he said； pouring himself another brandy。 〃Taylor。〃
〃Taylor？ What are you talking about？〃
Clem downed the liquor。 〃You're going to say I'm crazy； but hear me out； will you？〃
〃I'm listening。〃
〃I haven't been sentimental about losing him。 I haven't sat at home reading his love letters and listening to the songs we danced to。 I've tried to get out and be useful for a change。 But I have left his room the way it was。 I couldn't bring myself to go through his clothes or even strip the bed。 I kept putting it off。 And the more I didn't do it； the more impossible it seemed to be。 Then tonight； I came in just after eight； and I heard somebody talking。〃
Every particle of Clem's body but his lips was still as he spoke； transfixed by the memory。
〃I thought I'd left the radio on； but no； no； I realized it was ing from upstairs； from his bedroom。 It was him； Judy； talking clear as day； calling me up the way he used to。 I was so afraid I almost fled。 Stupid； isn't it？ There I was； praying and praying for some sign he was in God's hands； and as soon as it came I practically shat myself。 I tell you； I was half an hour on the stairs； hoping he'd stop calling me。 And sometimes he did for a while； and I'd half convince myself I'd imagined it。 Then he'd start again。 Nothing melodramatic。 Just him trying to persuade me not to be afraid and e up and say hello。 So； eventually； that's what I did。〃
His eyes were filling with tears； but there was no grief in his voice。
〃He liked that room in the evening。 The sun fills it up。 That's what it was like tonight： full of sun。 And he was there； in the light。 I couldn't see him but I knew he was next to me because he said so。 He told me I looked well。 Then he said； 'It's a glad day； Clem。 Gentle came back； and he's got the answers。' 〃
〃What answers？〃 Jude said。
〃That's what I asked him。 I said； 'What answers； Tay？' But you know Tay when he's happy。 He gets delirious； like a child。〃 Clem spoke with a smile； his gaze on sights remembered from better days。 〃He was so full of the fact that Gentle was back； I couldn't get much more from him。〃
Clem looked up at Jude。
〃The light was going；〃 he said。 〃And I think he wanted to go with it。 He said that it was our duty to help Gentle。 That was why he was showing himself to me this way。 It wasn't easy； he said。 But then neither was being a guardian angel。 And I said； Why only one？ One angel when there's two of us？ And he said； Because we are one； Clem； you and I。 We always were； and we always will be。 Those were his exact words； I swear。 Then he went away。 And you know what I kept thinking？〃
〃What？〃
〃That I wished I hadn't waited on the stairs and wasted all that time I could have had with him；〃 Clem set down his glass； pulled a tissue from his pocket； and blew his nose。 〃That's all；〃 he said。
〃I think that's plenty。〃
〃I know what you're thinking；〃 he said with a little laugh。 〃You're thinking； Poor Clem。 He couldn't grieve so he's having hallucinations。〃
〃No；〃 she said； very softly。 〃I'm thinking； Gentle doesn't know how lucky he is； having angels like you two。〃
〃Don't humor me。〃
〃I'm not；〃 she said。 〃I believe everything you've just told me happened。〃
〃You do？〃
〃Yes。〃
Again； a laugh。 〃Why？〃
〃Because Gentle came home tonight； Clem； and I was the only one who knew it。〃
He left ten minutes later； apparently content to know that even if he was crazy there was another lunatic in his circle he could turn to when he wanted to share his insanities。 Jude told him as much as she felt able at this juncture； which was very little； but she promised to contact Gentle on Clem's behalf and tell him about Taylor's visitation。 Clem wasn't so grateful that he was blinded to her discretion。
〃You know a lot more than you're telling me； don't you？〃 he said。
〃Yes；〃 she said。 〃But maybe in a little while I'll be able to tell you more。〃
〃Is Gentle in danger？〃 Clem asked。 〃Can you tell me that at least？〃
〃We all are；〃 she said。 〃You。 Me。 Gentle。 Taylor。〃
〃Taylor's dead；〃 Clem said。 〃He's in the light。 Nothing can hurt him。〃
〃I hope you're right；〃 she said grimly。 〃But please； Clem； if he finds you again…〃
〃He will。〃
〃…then when he does； tell him nobody's safe。 Just because Gentle's back in the…back home doesn't mean the troubles are over。 In fact； they're just beginning。〃
〃Tay says something sublime's going to happen。 That's his word： sublime。〃
〃And maybe it will。 But there's a lot of room for error。 And if anything goes wrong…〃 She halted； her head filled with memories of the In Ovo and the ruins of Yzordderrex。
〃Well； whenever you feel you can tell me；〃 Clem said； 〃we'll be ready to hear。 Both of us。〃 He glanced at his watch。 〃I should be out of here。 I'm late。〃
〃Party？〃
〃No； I'm working with a hospice for the homeless。 We're out most nights； trying to get kids off the streets。 The city's full of them。〃 She took him to the door； but before he stepped out he said； 〃You remember our pagan party at Christmas？〃
She grinned。 〃Of course。 That was quite a shindig。〃
〃Tay got stinking drunk after everybody had gone。 He knew he wasn't going to be seeing most of t