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fly。 And on the other end； Chelsea himself； waiting to catch these malicious grenades and smother them。 The alternative…meaning； to tell the truth…was unthinkable。 To admit a hoaxster was loose； forging demented fantasies on Amazing Kingdom letterhead。。。what a story that would make。 In their excitement the media would e all over themselves。 Even worse； each publicity announcement from the theme park would be scrutinized severely by reporters and editors； whose careers are seldom enhanced by getting duped into print。 One thing that Charles Chelsea （or any PR flack） didn't need was a more toxic level of skepticism and suspicion among the journalists he was supposed to manipulate。
So telling the truth about Joe Winder was out of the question。 Whatever revolting fable Winder concocted next； Chelsea would be ready to extinguish it with press releases that were both calm and plausible。 One pack of lies softening another。
It was going to be one roaring hell of a battle。
As the Publicity Department's fax machines were launching Chelsea's counterattack against the hepatitis scare； Moe Strickland arrived to bitch about sick pay and what the almighty Screen Actors Guild would say。
He lit up a cigar and said； 〃The union would go nuts。〃
〃We don't recognize the union；〃 Chelsea said coolly。 〃I really don't understand your objections； Moe。 Most people would kill for two weeks off。〃
Moe Strickland protested with a wet cough。 〃You're docking us sick days； that's the objection。 Because we're not really sick。〃
〃That's something to be taken up with Personnel。 It's simply not my bailiwick。〃 Charles Chelsea waved his hands to clear the rancid smoke。 The office was starting to smell like dead mice。
〃I don't see why they can't just give us two weeks paid；〃 said Moe Strickland； 〃and leave us our sick days。 Whatever happened； it's sure not our fault。〃
〃No； it's not；〃 Chelsea agreed。 〃Listen to me； Moe。 Uncle Ely and the Elves are on vacation； all right？ They went to Ireland。 That's the official story。〃
〃For Christ's sake…Ireland？ Does Ely sound like an Irish name？〃 Moe Strickland sneered in contempt。
〃I'm not here to argue；〃 Chelsea said。 〃But I do wish to caution you against speaking to the media。 All interview requests are to be routed through me； understand？〃
〃You mean like the newspapers。〃
〃Newspapers； television； anybody asking questions about a cruise。 You tell them to call me。 And make sure the elves do the same。〃
〃What； now you don't trust us？〃
〃No interviews； Moe。 The order es straight from Mr。 X。〃
〃Figures；〃 said Moe Strickland。 〃What's the name of that disease？ Tell me again。〃
〃Viral hepatitis。〃
〃Sounds terrible。〃
〃It's a nasty one；〃 Chelsea conceded。
〃Who in hell would make up a story like that？〃 The actor smacked on the soggy stump of cigar。 〃What kind of sick bastard would say such a thing？〃
Chelsea did not reply。 He was watching a string of brown drool make its way down Moe Strickland's snowy beard。
〃I feel like suing the sonofabitch；〃 Moe Strickland remarked。
Chelsea said； 〃Don't take it personally。 It's got nothing to do with you。〃
〃I never had hepatitis。 Is it some kind of dick disease？ Because if it is； we're definitely suing the bastard。 The boys're as clean as a whistle down there and they can sure prove it。〃
〃Moe；〃 said Chelsea； 〃please settle down。〃
〃Does this mean we can't march in the Jubilee？〃
〃Not as Uncle Ely and the Elves。 We'll get you some other costumes…gunslingers； how about that？〃
〃Oh great； midget gunslingers。 No thanks。〃 On his way out the door； Moe Strickland spit something heavy into Charles Chelsea's wastebasket。
That night； Channel 7 devoted forty seconds to the hepatitis scare； closing the piece with a sound…bite from Charles Chelsea； cool in a crisp blue oxford shirt and tortoiseshell eyeglasses。 The glasses were a new touch。 Not bad； thought Joe Winder； if you like the George Will look。
He was watching the news with a notebook on his lap。 He called toward the kitchen： 〃He got the number of victims down from five to four。 Plus he's planted the idea that the disease was picked up in the Caribbean； not at the Amazing Kingdom。 Pretty damn slick on short notice！〃
Carrie Lanier was fixing popcorn。 〃So they're toughing it out；〃 she said。 〃Looks that way。〃
She came out and placed the bowl on the sofa between them。 〃They've got to be worried。〃
〃I hope so。〃 Joe Winder thanked her again for stealing the letterhead paper from the stockroom in the Publicity Department。 〃And for renting the fax；〃 he added。 〃I'll pay you back。〃
〃Not necessary； sir。 Hey； I heard somebody shot up some rental cars on Card Sound Road。〃 〃Yeah； it was on the news。〃
〃Did they catch the guy？〃
〃No；〃 he said； 〃and they won't。〃 He wondered if Skink's sniper attack was the beginning of a major offensive。
Carrie pointed at the television。 〃Hey； look； it's Monkey Mountain！〃
A blue body bag was being carried out of the amusement park。 A florid middle…aged schoolteacher； a Miss Pedrosa； was being interviewed about what happened。
She said her students thought the man was merely sleeping； not dead。 The news reporter said the victim was believed to be a recent immigrant； a Latin male in his mid…thirties。 A police detective at the scene of the shooting said it appeared to be a suicide。 The detective's voice was nearly drowned out by the jabbering of angry baboons in a tree behind him。
Carrie said； 〃Well； Mr。 X ought to be happy。 Finally； someplace else is getting bad press。〃
〃Strange place for a suicide；〃 observed Joe Winder。
Carrie Lanier stuffed a handful of popcorn into his mouth。 〃They gave me my new costume today。 You're gonna die。〃
〃Let's see。〃
It was a white fishnet tank suit。 Carrie put it on and struck a Madonna pose。 〃Isn't it awful？〃 she said。
Joe Winder said she looked irresistibly slutty。 〃The Indians aren't going to like it； though。〃
〃I've got a headband； too。 And a black wig。〃
〃The Seminoles didn't wear fishnets； they used them on bass。 By the way； are those your nipples？〃
〃Who else's would they be？〃
〃What I mean is； isn't there supposed to be something underneath？〃
〃A tan body stocking；〃 Carrie said。 〃I must've forgot to put it on。〃
Winder told her not to bother。 Exuberantly she positioned herself on his lap and fastened her bare legs around his waist。 〃Before we make love；〃 Carrie said； 〃you've got to hear the song。〃
It was a bastardized version of the famous production number in Evita。 They both burst out laughing when she did the refrain。 〃I can't believe it；〃 Joe Winder said。
Carrie kept singing； 〃Don't Cry for Me； Osceola！〃 Winder buried his face in her breasts。 Unconsciously he began nibbling through the fishnet suit。
〃Now stop。〃 Carrie clutched the back of his head。 〃I've forgotten the rest of the words。〃
Still gnawing； Winder said； 〃I feel like a shark。〃
〃You do indeed。〃 She pulled him even closer。 〃I know a little boy who forgot to shave this morning； didn't he？〃
〃I was busy writing。〃 A muffled voice rising out of her cleavage。
Carrie smiled。 〃I know you were writing； and I'm proud of you。 What's the big news at the Kingdom tomorrow…typhoid？ Trichinosis？〃
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