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was punishing。
Prior to the sixth pitting； I held Icky's legs tight under his body to rest them； facing him toward the wall。 I raised my eyes for a moment； and there sat Mary Elizabeth； not six feet away from me。 I almost didn't recognize her at first。 She was wearing a light blue coat with raglan sleeves； and she had a pastel…blue scarf over her blonde hair； tied beneath her chin。 She sat in the second row…not in the seat I had reserved for her。 Her skin was pale； and her expression was strained。 As I smiled in recognition； Ed called for us to get ready； and I had to turn my back。
〃Pit！〃
For the first time in months I was second best in releasing my gamecock's tail。 Little David outfiew my Blue and fanned him down。 On his back； Icky shuffled his feet like a cat。 Both birds fell over； pronged together with all four gaffs； like knitting needles stuck into two balls of colored yarn。
〃Handle！〃
It took Burke and me almost a full minute to disengage the heels。 Both cocks were severely injured and my hands were red with blood as I sponged my battered bird down gingerly with cold water。 During the short rest period I didn't have time to exchange any love glances with my fiancée in the stands。 Thirty seconds passed like magic。
〃Get ready 。。。 Pit！〃
Both gamecocks remained on their scores as we released them。
〃Count！〃 Burke ordered。
〃One； two； three； four； five； six； seven； eight； nine and one for Mr。 Burke。 Handle！〃 Ed said； looking up from his wrist…watch。
Both of us needed the additional thirty…second rest period。 I sucked Icky's b to warm his head； held his beak open wide and spat into his open throat to refresh him。 I was massaging his tired legs gently when Ed told us to get ready。
〃Pit！〃
Stiff…winged； the two cocks advanced toward each other from their scores and clashed wearily in the center。 Too sick and too tired for aerial fighting they buckled again and again with weakened fury。 Little David fell over limply； breathing hard； and stayed there。 Grateful for this respite； Icky also stopped fighting； standing quietly with his head down； bifi touching the dirt。
〃The count is going on；〃 Ed announced； watching his wrist…watch and the two cocks at the same time。 At the silent count of twenty seconds； when neither bird had tried to fight； Ed ordered us to handle。
I wanted to work feverishly； but I was unable to do the nursing needed to help my fighter。 Rough nursing could put Icky out of the fight for good。 I sponged him gently and let him rest。 Icky had recovered considerably by himself from the twenty…second count。
When the order to pit was given again； he crossed the dirt floor toward his enemy on shaky legs。 Little David squatted on his score like a broody hen on eggs； with his beak wide open； and his neck jerking in and out。
Icky pecked savagely at the downed cock's weaving head。 An instant later； the maddened Little David bounced into the air as though driven by a pressed spring and came down on Icky's back with blurring； hard…hitting heels。 My cock was uncoupled by a spine blow； paralyzed； and unable to move from the neck down。 Little David's right one…and…a…quarter…inch heel had passed cleanly through Icky's kidney and the point was down as far as the caeca。 On the order to handle； I disengaged the gaff and returned to my score。
I didn't dare to sponge him。 There was very little I could do。 Water would make him bleed more rapidly than he was bleeding already。 I held him loosely between my hands； pressing my fingers lightly into his hot body； afraid he would e apart in my hands。 Fortunately； Little David was as badly injured as Icky。 His last desperate attack had taken every ounce of energy he had left。
After three futile counts of twenty； Ed Middleton ordered us to breast on the center score； one hand only beneath the bird。
Which gamecock would peck first？
Which gamecock would die first？
It was an endurance test。 Little David had been the last chicken to fight。 If Icky died first； Little David would be declared the winner by virtue of throwing the last blow。 On the third breast pitting； Icky stretched out his limp neck and pecked feebly。 The order to handle was given。 Again we pitted； and again Icky pecked； and this time he got a billhold on the other cock's stubby dubbed b。 Little David didn't feel or notice the billhold。 Little David was dead。 And so was Icky； his beak clamped to the Red's b to the last。
〃I'll carry my bird out；〃 Jack Burke said。
〃You're entitled to three more twenty…second counts；〃 Ed reminded him； going by the book。
〃What's the use？〃 Burke said indifferently。 〃They're both dead； now。〃
〃Dead or not；〃 Ed said officially； 〃you're entitled by the rules to three counts of twenty after the other cock pecks。〃
Without another word Jack Burke picked up his dead gamecock and left the pit。 I picked up the Blue and held him to my chest。 His long neck dangled limply over my left arm。 My eyes were suddenly； irrationally； humid with tears。
〃That's what I call a dead…game chicken； Frank！〃 Senator Foxhall called out from the judge's box。
I nodded blindly in his general direction and then turned my back on the old man to look for Mary Elizabeth。 She wasn't in her seat。 I caught a glimpse of her blue topcoat as she hurried out through the side entrance to the parking lot。 I ran after her and caught up with her running figure just beyond the closed； shuttered box office。
〃Mary Elizabeth！〃 I said aloud。 My voice sounded rusty； strangled； different； nothing at all like I remembered it。
She stopped running； turned and faced me； her face like a mask。 Her lips were as bloodless as her face。
〃You've decided to talk again？ Is that it？ It's too late now； Frank。 And I know now that it was always too late for us。 You aren't the man I fell in love with； but you never were！ If I'd seen you in the cockpit ten years ago； I would've known then。 I didn't watch those poor chickens fight； Frank； I watched your face。 It was awful。 No pity； no love； no understanding； nothing！ Hate！ You hate everything； yourself； me； the world； everybody！〃
She closed her eyes to halt the tears。 A moment later she opened her purse and wiped her eyes with a small white handkerchief。
〃And I gave myself to you； Frank；〃 she said； as though she were speaking to herself。 〃I gave you everything I had to offer； everything； to a man who doesn't even have a heart！〃
I didn't know this woman。 I had never seen her before。 This was a Mary Elizabeth I had hidden from myself all these years。
I dropped my dead Blue chicken to the ground； put my left heel on its neck； reached down； and jerked off his head with my right hand。 I held the beaten； bloody； but never； never bowed head out to Mary Elizabeth in my palm。 I had nothing else to say to the woman。
Mary Elizabeth licked her pale lips。 She took Icky's head from my hand and wrapped it in her white handkerchief。 Tucking the wrapped head away in her purse； she nodded。
〃Thank you。 Thank you very much； Frank Mansfield。 I'll accept your gift。 When I get home； I'll preserve it in a jar of alcohol。 I might even work out some kind of ritual； to remind myself