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〃I'm serious。 I don't care if he's gay。 I'd enjoy meeting my first cousin。〃
She took a deep breath and smiled。 The ravioli arrived on two heaping plates with steam rising in all directions。 A long loaf of garlic bread was placed along the edge of the table； and the waiter was gone。
〃Does Walt know about Sam？〃 Adam asked。
〃No。 I've never had the guts to tell him。〃
〃Does he know about me and Carmen？ About Eddie？ About any of our family's glorious history？〃
〃Yes； a little。 When he was a little boy； I told him he had cousins in California； but that they never came to Memphis。 Phelps； of course； told him that his California cousins were of a much lower social class and therefore not worthy of his attention。 Walt was groomed by his father to be a snob； Adam； you must understand this。 He attended the most prestigious prep schools； hung out at the nicest country clubs； and his family consisted of a bunch of Booth cousins who were all the same。 They're all miserable people。〃
〃What do the Booths think of having a homosexual in the family？〃
〃They hate him； of course。 And he hates them。〃
〃I like him already。〃
〃He's not a bad kid。 He wants to study art and paint。 I send him money all the time。〃
〃Does Sam know he has a gay grandson？〃
〃I don't think so。 I don't know who would tell him。〃
〃I probably won't tell him。〃
〃Please don't。 He has enough on his mind。〃
The ravioli cooled enough to eat； and they enjoyed it in silence。 The waiter brought more water and tea。 The couple next to them ordered a bottle of red wine； and Lee glanced at it more than once。
Adam wiped his mouth and rested for a moment。 He leaned over the table。 〃Can I ask you something personal？〃 he said quietly。
〃All your questions seem to be personal。〃
〃Right。 So can I ask you one more？〃
〃Please do。〃
〃Well； I was just thinking。 Tonight you've told me you're an alcoholic； your husband's an animal； and your son is gay。 That's a lot for tine meal。 But is there anything else I should know？〃
〃Lemme see。 Yes； Phelps is an alcoholic too； but he won't admit it。〃
〃Anything else？〃
〃He's been sued twice for sexual harassment。〃
〃Okay。 Forget about the Booths。 Any more surprises from our side of the family？〃
〃We haven't scratched the surface； Adam。〃
〃I was afraid of that。〃
18
A LOUD thunderstorm rolled across the Delta before dawn； and Sam was awakened by the crack of lightning。 He heard raindrops dropping hard against the open windows above the hallway。 Then he heard them drip and puddle against the wall under the windows not far from his cell。 The dampness of his bed was suddenly cool。 Maybe today would not be so hot。 Maybe the rain would linger and shade the sun； and maybe the wind would blow away the humidity for a day or two。 He always had these hopes when it rained； but in the summer a thunderstorm usually meant soggy ground which under a glaring sun meant nothing but more suffocating heat。
He raised his head and watched the rain fall from the windows and gather on the floor。 The water flickered in the reflected light distant yellow bulb。 Except for this faint light； the Row was dark。 And it was silent。
Sam loved the rain； especially at night and especially in the summer。 The State of Mississippi； in its boundless wisdom； had built its prison in the hottest place it could find。 And it designed its Maximum Security Unit along the same lines as an oven。 The windows to the outside were small and useless； built that way for security reasons； of course。 The planners of this little branch of hell also decided that there would be no ventilation of any sort； no chance for a breeze getting in or the dank air getting out。 And after they built what they considered to be a model penal facility； they decided they would not air condition it。 It would sit proudly beside the soybeans and cotton； and absorb the same heat and moisture from the ground。 And when the land was dry； the Row would simply bake along with the crops。
But the State of Mississippi could not control the weather； and when the rains came and cooled the air； Sam smiled d to himself and offered a small prayer of thanks。 A higher being was in control after ！all。 The state was helpless when it rained。 It was a small victory。
He eased to his feet and stretched his back。 His bed consisted of a piece of foam； six feet by two and a half； four inches thick； otherwise known as a mattress。 It rested on a metal frame fastened securely to the floor and wall。 It was covered with two sheets。 Sometimes they passed out blankets in the winter。 Back pain was mon throughout the Row； but with time the body adjusted and there were few plaints。 The prison doctor was not considered to be a friend of death row inmates。 。
He took two steps and leaned on his elbows through the bars。 He listened to the wind and thunder； and watched the drops bounce along the windowsill and splatter on the floor。 How nice it would be to step through that wall and walk through the wet grass on the other side； to stroll around the prison grounds in the driving rain； naked and crazy； soaking wet with water dripping from his hair and beard。
The horror of death row is that you die a little each day。 The waiting kills you。 You live in a cage and when you wake up you mark off another day and you tell yourself that you are now one day closer to death。
Sam lit a cigarette and watched the smoke float upward toward the raindrops。 Weird things happen with our absurd judicial system。 Courts rule this way one day and the other way the next。 The same judges reach different conclusions on familiar issues。 A court will ignore a wild motion or appeal for years； then one day embrace it and grant relief。 Judges die and they're replaced by judges who think differently。 Presidents e and go and they appoint their pals to the bench。 The Supreme Court drifts one way； then another。
At times； death would be wele。 And if given the choice of death on one hand； or life on death row on the other； Sam would quickly take the gas。 But there was always hope； always the slight glimmering promise that something somewhere in the vast maze of the judicial jungle would strike a chord with someone； and his case would be reversed。 Every resident of the Row dreamed of the miracle reversal from heaven。 And their dreams sustained them from one miserable day to the next。
Sam had recently read that there were almost twenty…five hundred inmates sentenced to die in America； and last year； 1989； only sixteen were executed。 Mississippi had executed only four since 1977； the year Gary Gilmore insisted on a firing squad in Utah。 There was safety in those numbers。 They fortified his resolve to file even more appeals。
He smoked through the bars as the storm passed and the rain stopped。 He took his breakfast as the sun rose； and at seven o'clock he turned on the television for the morning news。 He had just bitten into a piece of cold toast when suddenly his face appeared on the screen behind a Memphis morning anchorperson。 She eagerly reported the thrilling top story of the day； the bizarre case of Sam Cayhay and his new lawyer。 Seems his new lawyer' was his long…lost grandson； one Adam Hall； a yo