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ront of my face; close my left eye。 The panel slid shut; a white light flashed。 They were trying to help me; to save me。
Eventually; dressed again; I sat across a desk from a nervous young man in a white smock。 He studied my file; mumbling something about being new at this。 I was surprised to find that this fact did not upset me。 I think I was even relieved。
〃How long before the results are in?〃
〃The results are in;〃 he said。
〃I thought we were here for a general discussion。 The human part。 What the machines can't detect。 In two or three days the actual numbers would be ready。〃 〃The numbers are ready。〃
〃I'm not sure I'm ready。 All those gleaming devices are a little unsettling。 I could easily imagine a perfectly healthy person being made ill just taking these tests。〃
〃Why should anyone be made ill? These are the most accurate test devices anywhere。 We have sophisticated puters to analyze the data。 This equipment saves lives。 Believe me; I've seen it happen。 We have equipment that works better than the latest X…ray machine or CAT scanner。 We can see more deeply; more accurately。〃
He seemed to be gaining confidence。 He was a mild…eyed fellow with a poor plexion and reminded me of the boys at the supermarket who stand at the end of the checkout counter bagging merchandise。
〃Here's how we usually start;〃 he said。 〃I ask questions based on the printout and then you answer to the best of your ability。 When we're all finished; I give you the printout in a sealed envelope and you take it to your doctor for a paid visit。〃
〃Good。〃
〃Good。 We usually start by asking how do you feel。〃
〃Based on the printout?〃
〃Just how do you feel;〃 he said in a mild voice。
〃In my own mind; in real terms; I feel relatively sound; pending confirmation。〃
〃We usually go on to tired。 Have you recently been feeling tired?〃
〃What do people usually say?〃
〃Mild fatigue is a popular answer。〃
〃I could say exactly that and be convinced in my own mind it's a fair and accurate description。〃
He seemed satisfied with the reply and made a bold notation on the page in front of him。
〃What about appetite?〃 he said。
〃I could go either way on that。〃
'That's more or less how I could go; based on the printout。〃
〃In other words you're saying sometimes I have appetitive reinforcement; sometimes I don't。〃
〃Are you telling me or asking me?〃
〃It depends on what the numbers say。〃
〃Then we agree。〃
〃Good。〃
〃Good;〃 he said。 〃Now what about sleep? We usually do sleep before we ask the person if they'd like some decaf or tea。 We don't provide sugar。〃
〃Do you get a lot of people who have trouble sleeping?〃
〃Only in the last stages。〃
〃The last stages of sleep? Do you mean they wake up early in the morning and can't get back to sleep?〃
'The last stages of life。〃
'That's what I thought。 Good。 The only thing I have is some low threshold animation。〃
〃Good。〃
〃I get a little restless。 Who doesn't?〃
'Toss and turn?〃
'Toss;〃 I said。
〃Good。〃
〃Good。〃
He made some notes。 It seemed to be going well。 I was heartened to see how well it was going。 I turned down his offer of tea; which seemed to please him。 We were moving right along。
〃Here's where we ask about smoking。〃
'That's easy。 The answer is no。 And it's not a matter of having stopped five or ten years ago。 I've never smoked。 Even when I was a teenager。 Never tried it。 Never saw the need。〃
'That's always a plus。〃
I felt tremendously reassured and grateful。
〃We're moving right along; aren't we?〃
〃Some people like to drag it out;〃 he said。 'They get interested in their own condition。 It bees almost like a hobby。〃
〃Who needs nicotine? Not only that; I rarely drink coffee and certainly never with caffeine。 Can't understand what people see in all this artificial stimulation。 I get high just walking in the woods。〃
〃No caffeine always helps。〃
Yes; I thought。 Reward my virture。 Give me life。
〃Then there's milk;〃 I said。 〃People aren't happy with the caffeine and the sugar。 They want the milk too。 All those fatty acids。 Haven't touched milk since I was a kid。 Haven't touched heavy cream。 Eat bland foods。 Rarely touch hard liquor。 Never knew what the fuss was all about。 Water。 That's my beverage。 A man can trust a glass of water。〃
I waited for him to tell me I was adding years to my life。
〃Speaking of water;〃 he said; 〃have you ever been exposed to industrial contaminants?〃
〃What?〃
〃Toxic material in the air or water。〃
〃Is this what you usually ask after the cigarettes?〃
〃It's not a scheduled question。〃
〃You mean do I work with a substance like asbestos? Absolutely not。 I'm a teacher。 Teaching is my life。 I've spent my life on a college campus。 Where does asbestos fit into this?〃
〃Have you ever heard of Nyodene Derivative?〃
〃Should I have; based on the printout?〃
〃There are traces in your bloodstream。〃
〃How can that be if I've never heard of it?〃
〃The magnetic scanner says it's there。 I'm looking at bracketed numbers with little stars。〃
〃Are you saying the printout shows the first ambiguous signs of a barely perceptible condition deriving from minimal acceptable spillage exposure?〃
Why was I speaking in this stilted fashion?
〃The magnetic scanner is pretty clear;〃 he said。
What had happened to our tacit agreement to advance smartly through the program without time…consuming and controversial delving?
〃What happens when someone has traces of this material in his or her blood?〃
〃They get a nebulous mass;〃 he said。
〃But I thought no one knew for sure what Nyodene D。 did to humans。 Rats; yes。〃
〃You just told me you'd never heard of it。 How do you know what it does or doesn't do?〃
He had me there。 I felt I'd been tricked; carried along; taken for a fool。
〃Knowledge changes every day;〃 he said。 〃We have some conflicting data that says exposure to this substance can definitely lead to a mass。〃
His confidence was soaring。
〃Good。 Let's get on to the next topic。 I'm in something of a hurry。〃
〃This is where I hand over the sealed envelope。〃
〃Is exercise next? The answer is none。 Hate it; refuse to do it。〃
〃Good。 I am handing over the envelope。〃
〃What is a nebulous mass; just out of idle curiosity?〃
〃A possible growth in the body。〃
〃And it's called nebulous because you can't get a clear picture of it。〃
〃We get very clear pictures。 The imaging block takes the clearest pictures humanly possible。 It's called a nebulous mass because it has no definite shape; form or limits。〃
〃What can it do in terms of worst…case scenario contingencies?〃
〃Cause a person to die。〃
〃Speak English; for God's sake。 I despise this modern jargon。〃
He took insults well。 The angrier I got; the better he liked it。 He radiated energy and health。
〃Now is where I tell you to pay in the outer office。〃
〃What about potassium? I came here in the first place because my potassium was way above normal limits。〃
〃We don't do potassium。〃
〃Good。〃
〃Good。 The last thing I'm supposed to