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〃Doing my laundry；〃 I said。 〃And ironing。〃
〃I don't suppose you want to tell me too much about her 。。。 your
girlfriend？〃
〃No； I guess not。 It's plicated； and I； kind of； don't think I could
explain it very well。〃
〃That's OK。 You don't have to explain anything；〃 said Midori。 〃But do
you mind if I tell you what I imagine is going on？〃
〃No； go ahead。 I suspect anything you'd imagine would have to be
interesting。〃
〃I think she's a married woman。〃
〃You do？〃
〃Yeah； she's thirty…two or …three and she's rich and beautiful and she
wears fur coats and Charles Jourdan shoes and silk underwear and
she's hungry for sex and she likes to do really yucky things。 The two
of you meet on weekday afternoons and devour each other's bodies。
But her husband's home on Sundays； so she can't see you。 Am I
right？〃
〃Very； very interesting。〃
〃She has you tie her up and blindfold her and lick every square inch of
her body。 Then she makes you put weird things inside her and she gets
into these incredible positions like a contortionist and you take
pictures of her with a Polaroid camera。〃
〃Sounds like fun。〃
〃She's dying for it all the time； so she does everything she can think
of。 And she thinks about it every day。 She's got nothing but free time；
so she's always planning： Hmm； next time Watanabe es； we'll do
this； or we'll do that。 You get in bed and she goes crazy； trying all
these positions and ing three times in each one。 And she says to
you； 〃Don't I have a sensational body？ You can't be satisfied with
young girls any more。 Young girls won't do this for you； will they？ Or
this。 Feel good？ But don't e yet！〃'
〃You've watched too many porno movies；〃 I said with a laugh。
〃You think so？ I was kind of worried about that。 But I love
porn films。 Take me to one next time； OK？〃
〃Fine；〃 I said。 〃Next time you're free。〃
〃Really？ I can hardly wait。 Let's go to a real S&M one； with whips
and； like； they make the girl pee in front of everyone。
That's my favourite。〃
〃We'll do it。〃
〃You know what I like best about porn cinemas？〃 〃I couldn't begin to
guess。〃
〃Whenever a sex scene starts； you can hear this 〃Gulp！' sound when
everybody swallows all at once；〃 said Midori。 〃I love that 〃Gulp！' It's
so sweet！〃
Back in the hospital room； Midori aimed a stream of talk at her father
again； and he would either grunt in response or say nothing。 Around
eleven the wife of the man in the other bed came to change her
husband's pyjamas and peel fruit for him and so on。 She had a round
face and seemed like a nice person； and she and Midori shared a lot of
small talk。 A nurse showed up with a new intravenous drip and talked
a little while with Midori and the wife before she left。 I let my eyes
wander around the room and out the window to the power lines。
Sparrows would turn up every now and then and perch on them。
Midori talked to her father and wiped the sweat from his brow and
helped him spit phlegm into a tissue and chatted with the
neighbouring patient's wife and the nurse and sent an occasional
remark my way and checked the intravenous contraption。
The doctor did his rounds at 11。30； so Midori and I stepped outside to
wait in the corridor。 When he came out； Midori asked him how her
father was doing。
〃Well； he's just e out of surgery； and we've got him on painkillers
so； well； he's pretty drained；〃 said the doctor。 〃I'll need another two or
three days to evaluate the results of the operation。 If it went well； he'll
be OK； and if it didn't； we'll have to make some decisions at that
point。〃
〃You're not going to open his head up again； are you？〃
〃I really can't say until the time es；〃 said the doctor。 〃Wow； that's
some short skirt you're wearing！〃
〃Nice； huh？〃
〃What do you do on stairways？〃 the doctor asked。
〃Nothing special。 I let it all hang out；〃 said Midori。 The nurse
chuckled behind the doctor。
〃Incredible。 You ought to e and let us open your head one of these
days to see what's going on in there。 Do me a favour and use the lifts
while you're in the hospital。 I can't afford to have any more patients。
I'm way too busy as it is。〃
Soon after the doctor's rounds it was lunchtime。 A nurse was
circulating from room to room pushing a trolley loaded with meals。
Midori's father was given pottage； fruit； boiled； deboned fish； and
vegetables that had been ground into some kind of jelly。 Midori turned
him on his back and raised him up using the handle at the foot of the
bed。 She fed him the soup with a spoon。 After five or six swallows； he
turned his face aside and said （No more》。
You've got to eat at least this much。〃 Midori san he said。
〃You're hopeless … if you don't eat properly； you'll never get your
strength back；〃 she said。 〃Don't you have to pee yet？〃 he said。
〃Hey； Watanabe； let's go down to the cafeteria。〃
I agreed to go； but in fact I didn't much feel like eating。 The cafeteria
was packed with doctors； nurses and visitors。 Long lines of chairs and
tables filled the huge； windowless underground cavern where every
mouth seemed to be eating or talking … about sickness； no doubt； the
voices echoing and re…echoing as in a tunnel。 Now and then the PA
system would break through the reverberation with calls for a doctor
or nurse。 While I laid claim to a table； Midori bought two set meals
and carried them over on an aluminium tray。 Croquettes with cream
sauce； potato salad； shredded cabbage； boiled vegetables； rice and
miso soup： these were lined up in the tray in the same white plastic
dishes they used for patients。 I ate about half of mine and left the rest。
Midori seemed to enjoy her meal to the last mouthful。
〃Not hungry？〃 she asked； sipping hot tea。 〃Not really；〃 I said。
〃It's the hospital；〃 she said； scanning the cafeteria。 〃This always
happens when people aren't used to the place。 The smells； the sounds；
the stale air； patients' faces； stress； irritation； disappointment； pain；
fatigue … that's what does it。 It grabs you in the stomach and kills your
appetite。 Once you get used to it； though； it's no problem at all。 Plus；
you can't really take care of a sick person unless you eat properly。 It's
true。 I know what I'm talking about because I've done it with my
grandfather； my grandmother； my mother； and now my father。 You
never know when you're going to have to ； so its important to eat
when you can
〃I see what you mean；〃 I said。
〃Relatives e to visit and they eat with me here； and they always
leave half their food； just like you。 And they always say； 〃Oh； Midori；
it's wonderful you've got such a healthy appetite。 I'm too upset to eat。'
But get serious； I'm the one who's actually here taking care of the
patient！ They just have to drop by and show a little sympathy。 I'm the
one who wipes up the shit and collects the phlegm and mops the
brows。 If sympathy was all it took to clean up shit； I'd have 50 times
as much sympathy as anybody else！ Instead； they see me eating all my
food and they give me this look and say； 〃Oh Midori； you've got such
a healthy appetite。' What do they think I am； a donkey pulling a cart？
They're old enough to know how