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Maybe it felt that way because I had thought about it so often … too
often； to the point where it had distorted my sense of time。
The moon was so bright； I turned the lights off and stretched out on
the sofa to listen to Bill Evans' piano。 Streaming in through the
window； the moonlight cast long shadows and splashed the walls with
a touch of diluted Indian ink。 I took a thin metal flask from my
rucksack； let my mouth fill with the brandy it contained； allowed the
warmth to move slowly down my throat to my stomach； and from
there felt it spreading to every extremity。 After a final sip； I closed the
flask and returned it to my rucksack。 Now the moonlight seemed to be
swaying with the music。
Twenty minutes later； Naoko and Reiko came back from the bath。
〃Oh！ It was so dark here； we thought you had packed your bags and
gone back to Tokyo！〃 exclaimed Reiko。
〃No way；〃 I said。 〃I hadn't seen such a bright moon for years。 I wanted
to look at it with the lights off。〃
〃It's lovely； though；〃 said Naoko。 〃Reiko； do we still have those
candles from the last power cut？〃
〃Probably； in a kitchen drawer。〃
Naoko brought a large； white candle from the kitchen。 I lit it； dripped
a little wax into a plate； and stood it up。 Reiko used the flame to light a
cigarette。 As the three of us sat facing the candle amid these hushed
surroundings； it began to seem as if we were the only ones left on
some far edge of the world。 The still shadows of the moonlight and the
swaying shadows of the candlelight met and melded on the white
walls of the flat。 Naoko and I sat next to each other on the sofa； and
Reiko settled into the rocking chair facing us。
〃How about some wine？〃 Reiko asked me。
〃You're allowed to drink？〃 I asked with some surprise。
〃Well； not really；〃 said Reiko； scratching an earlobe with a hint of
embarrassment。 〃But they pretty much let it go。 If it's just wine or beer
and you don't drink too much。 I've got a friend on the staff who buys
me a little now and then。〃
〃We have our drinking parties；〃 said Naoko with a mischievous air。
〃Just the two of us。〃
〃That's nice；〃 I said。
Reiko took a bottle of white wine from the fridge； opened it with a
corkscrew and brought three glasses。 The wine had a clear； delicious
flavour that seemed almost homemade。 When the record ended； Reiko
brought out a guitar from under her bed； and after tuning it with a look
of fondness for the instrument； she began to play a slow Bach fugue。
She missed her fingering every now and then； but it was real Bach；
with real feeling … warm； intimate； and filled with the joy of
performance。
〃I started playing the guitar here；〃 said Reiko。 〃There are no pianos in
the rooms； of course。 I'm self…taught； and I don't have guitar hands； so
I'll never get very good； but I really love the instrument。 It's small and
simple and easy； kind of like a warm； little room。〃
She played one more short Bach piece； something from a suite。 Eyes
on the candle flame； sipping wine； listening to Reiko's Bach； I felt the
tension inside me slipping away。 When Reiko ended the Bach； Naoko
asked her to play a Beatles song。
〃Request time；〃 said Reiko； winking at me。 〃She makes me play
Beatles every day； like I'm her music slave。〃
Despite her protest； Reiko played a fine 〃Michelle〃。
〃That's a good one；〃 she said。 〃I really like that song。〃 She took a sip
of wine and puffed her cigarette。 〃It makes me feel like I'm in a big
meadow in a soft rain。〃
Then she played 〃Nowhere Man〃 and 〃Julia〃。 Now and then as she
played； she would close her eyes and shake her head。 Afterwards she
would return to the wine and the cigarette。
〃Play 〃Norwegian Wood'；〃 said Naoko。
Reiko brought a porcelain beckoning cat from the kitchen。 It was a
coin bank； and Naoko dropped a ？100 piece from her purse into its
slot。
〃What's this all about？〃 I asked。
〃It's a rule；〃 said Naoko。 〃When I request 〃Norwegian Wood；' I have
to put ？100 into the bank。 It's my favourite； so I make a point of
paying for it。 I make a request when I really want to hear it。〃
〃And that way I get my cigarette money！〃 said Reiko。
Reiko gave her fingers a good flexing and then played 〃Norwegian
Wood〃。 Again she played with real feeling； but never allowed t to i
bee sentimental。 I took ？100 coin from my pocket and dropped it
into the bank。
〃Thank you；〃 said Reiko with a sweet smile。
〃That song can make me feel so sad；〃 said Naoko。 〃I don't know； I
guess I imagine myself wandering in a deep wood。 I'm all alone and
it's cold and dark； and nobody es to save me。 That's why Reiko
never plays it unless I request it。〃
Sounds like Casablanca！〃 Reiko said with a laugh。
She followed 〃Norwegian Wood〃 with a few bossa novas while I kept
my eyes on Naoko。 As she had said in her letter； she looked healthier
than before； suntanned； her body firm from exercise and outdoor
work。 Her eyes were the same deep clear pools they had always been；
and her small lips still trembled shyly； but overall her beauty had
begun to change to that of a mature woman。 Almost gone now was the
sharp edge … the chilling sharpness of a thin blade … that could be
glimpsed in the shadows of her beauty； in place of which there now
hovered a uniquely soothing； quiet calm。 I felt moved by this new；
gentle beauty of hers； and amazed to think that a woman could change
so much in the course of half a year。 I felt as drawn to her as ever；
perhaps more than before； but the thought of what she had lost in the
meantime also gave me cause for regret。 Never again would she have
that self…centred beauty that seems to take its own； independent course
in adolescent girls and no one else。
Naoko said she wanted to hear about how I was spending my days。 I
talked about the student strike and Nagasawa。 This was the first time I
had ever said anything about him to her。 I found it challenging to give
her an accurate account of his odd humanity； his unique philosophy；
and his uncentred morality； but Naoko seemed finally to grasp what I
was trying to tell her。 I hid the fact that I went out hunting girls with
him； revealing only that the one person in the dorm I spent any real
time with was this unusual guy。 All the while； Reiko went through
another practice of the Bach fugue she had played before； taking
occasional breaks for wine and cigarettes。
〃He sounds like a strange person；〃 said Naoko。 〃He is strange；〃 I
said。 〃But you like him？〃
〃I'm not sure；〃 I said。 〃I guess I can't say I like him。 Nagasawa is
beyond liking or not liking。 He doesn't try to be liked。 In that sense；
he's a very honest guy； stoic even。 He doesn't try to fool anybody。〃
〃〃Stoic' sleeping with all those girls？ Now that is weird；〃 said Naoko；
laughing。 〃How many girls has he slept with？〃
〃It's probably up to 80 now；〃 I said。 〃But in his case； the higher the
numbers go； the less each individual act seems to mean。 Which is
what I think he's trying to acplish。〃
〃And you call that 〃stoic'？〃
〃For him it is。〃
Naoko thought about my words for a minute。 〃I think he's a lot sicker
in the head than I am；〃 she said。
〃So do I；〃 I said。 〃But he can put