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the door as quietly as she had e in。
With Naoko gone； I went to sleep on the sofa。 I hadn't intended to do
so； but I fell into the kind of deep sleep I had not had for a long time；
filled with a sense of Naoko's presence。 In the kitchen were the dishes
Naoko used； in the bathroom was the toothbrush Naoko used； and in
the bedroom was the bed in which Naoko slept。 Sleeping soundly in
this flat of hers； I wrung the fatigue from every cell of my body； drop
by drop。 I dreamed of a butterfly dancing in the half…light。
When I awoke again； the hands of my watch were pointing to 4。35。
The light had changed； the wind haddied； the shapes of the clouds
were different。 I had sweated in my sleep； so I dried my face with a
small towel from my rucksack and put on a fresh vest。 Going to the
kitchen； I drank some water and stood there looking through the
window over the sink。 I was facing a window in the building opposite；
on the inside of which hung several paper cut…outs … a bird； a cloud； a
cow； a cat； all in skilful silhouette and joined together。 As before；
there was no sign of anyone about； and there were no sounds of any
kind。 I felt as if I were living alone in an extremely well…cared…for
ruin。
People started ing back to Area C a little after five Looking out of
the kitchen window； I saw three women passing below。 All wore hats
that prevented me from telling their ages； but judging from their
voices； they were not very young。 Shortly after they had disappeared
around a corner； four more women appeared from the same direction
and； like the first group； disappeared around the same corner。 An
evening mood hung over everything。 From the living room window I
could see trees and a line of hills。 Above the ridge floated a border of
pale sunlight。
Naoko and Reiko came back together at 5。30。 Naoko and I exchanged
proper greetings as if meeting for the first time。 She seemed truly
embarrassed。 Reiko noticed the book I had been reading and asked
what it was。 Thomas Mann's The Magic Mountain； I told her。
〃How could you bring a book like that to a place like this？〃 she
demanded。 She was right； of course。
Reiko then made coffee for the three of us。 I told Naoko about Storm
Trooper's sudden disappearance and about the last day I saw him；
when he gave me the firefly。
〃I'm so sorry he's gone；〃 she said。 〃I wanted to hear more stories about
him。〃 Reiko asked who Storm Trooper was； so I told her about his
antics and got a big laugh from her。 The world was at peace and filled
with laughter as long as Storm Trooper stories were being told。
At six we went to the dining hall in the main building for supper。
Naoko and I had fried fish with green salad； boiled vegetables； rice
and miso soup。 Reiko limited herself to pasta salad and coffee；
followed by another cigarette。
〃You don't need to eat so much as you get older；〃 she said by way of
explanation。
Some 20 other people were there in the dining hall。 A few newers
arrived as we ate； meanwhile some others left。 Aside from the variety
in people's ages； the scene looked pretty much like that of the dining
hall in my dormitory。 Where it differed was the uniform volume at
which people conversed。 There were no loud voices and no whispers；
no one laughing out loud or crying out in shock； no one yelling with
exaggerated gestures； nothing but quiet conversations； all carrying on
at the same level。 People were eating in groups of three to five； each
with a single speaker； to whom the others would listen with nods and
grunts of interest； and when that person had finished speaking； the
next would take up the conversation。 I could not tell what they were
saying； but the way they said it reminded me of the strange tennis
game I had seen at noon。 I wondered if Naoko spoke like this when
she was with them and； strangely enough； I felt a twinge of loneliness
mixed with jealousy。
At the table behind me； a balding man in white with the authentic air
of a doctor was holding forth to a nervouslooking young man in
glasses and a squirrel…faced woman of middle age on the effects of
weightlessness on the secretion of gastric juices。 The two listened with
an occasional 〃My goodness〃 or 〃Really？〃 but the longer I listened to
the balding man's style of speaking； the less certain I became that；
even in his white coat； he was really a doctor。
No one in the dining hall paid me any special attention。 No one stared
or even seemed to notice I was there。 My presence must have been an
entirely natural event。
Just once； though； the man in white spun around and asked me； 〃How
long will you be staying？〃
〃Two nights；〃 I said。 〃I'll be leaving on Wednesday。〃
〃It's nice here this time of year； isn't it？ But e again in winter。 It's
really nice when everything's white。〃
〃Naoko may be out of here by the time it snows；〃 said Reiko to the
man。
〃True； but still； the winter's really nice；〃 he repeated with a sombre
expression。 I felt increasingly unsure as to whether or not he was a
doctor。
〃What do you people talk about？〃 I asked Reiko； who seemed to not
quite follow me。
〃What do we talk about？ Just ordinary things。 What happened that
day； or books we've read； or tomorrow's weather； you know。 Don't tell
me you're wondering if people jump to their feet and shout stuff like：
〃It'll rain tomorrow if a polar bear eats the stars tonight！〃'
〃No； no； of course not；〃 I said。 〃I was just wondering what all these
quiet conversations were about。〃
〃It's a quiet place； so people talk quietly；〃 said Naoko。 She made a
neat pile of fish bones at the edge of her plate and dabbed at her
mouth with a handkerchief。 〃There's no need to raise your voice here。
You don't have to convince anybody of anything； and you don't have
to attract anyone's attention。〃
〃I guess not；〃 I said； but as I ate my meal in those quiet surroundings；
I was surprised to find myself missing the hum of people。 I wanted to
hear laughter and people shouting for no reason and saying overblown
things。 That was just the kind of noise I had bee weary of in
recent months； but sitting here eating fish in this unnaturally quiet
room； I couldn't relax。 The dining hall had all the atmosphere of a
specialized …machine…tool trade fair。 People with a strong interest in a
specialist field came together in a speci fic place and exchanged
information understood only by themselves。
Back in the room after supper； Naoko and Reiko announced that they
would be going to the Area C munal bath and that if I didn't mind
having just a shower； I could use the one in their bathroom。 I would do
that； I said； and after they were gone I undressed； showered； and
washed my hair。 I found a Bill Evans album in the bookcase and was
listening to it while drying my hair when I realized that it was the
record I had played in Naoko's room on the night of her birthday； the
night she cried and I took her in my arms。 That had beenonly six
months ago； but it felt like something from a much remoter past。
Maybe it felt that way because I had thought about it so often … too
often； to the point where it had distorted my sense of time