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year。 And as if that weren't bad enough … 〃 She stopped in mid…
sentence； put her chopsticks down and sighed。 〃How did this
conversation turn so dark all of a sudden？〃
〃It started with the business about the bras；〃 I said。
〃So anyway； eat your eggs and think about what I just told you；？
Midori said with a solemn expression。
Eating my portion filled me up； but Midori ate far less。 〃Cooking ruins
my appetite；〃 she said。 She cleared the table； wipedup the crumbs；
brought out a box of Marlboro； put one in her mouth and lit up with a
match。 Taking hold of the glass with the daffodils； she studied the
blooms for a while。
〃I don't think I'll put them in a vase；〃 she said。 〃If I leave them like
this； it's like I just happened to pick them by a pond somewhere and
threw them into the first thing that came to hand。〃
〃I did pick them by the pond at Otsuka Station；〃 I said。
She chuckled。 〃You are a weird one。 Making jokes with a perfectly
straight face。〃
Chin in hand； she smoked half her cigarette； then crushed it out in the
ashtray。 She rubbed her eyes as if smoke had got into them。
〃Girls are supposed to be a little more elegant when they put out their
cigarettes。 You did that like a lumberjack。 You shouldn't just cram it
down in the ashtray but press it lightly around the edges of the ash。
Then it doesn't get all bent up。 And girls are never supposed to blow
smoke through their noses。 And most girls wouldn't talk about how
they wore the same bra for three months when they're eating alone
with a man。〃
〃I am a lumberjack；〃 Midori said； scratching next to her nose。 〃I can
never manage to be chic。 I try it as a joke sometimes； but it never
sticks。 Any more critiques for me？〃
〃Girls don't smoke Marlboro；〃 I said。
〃What's the difference？ One tastes as bad as another。〃 She turned the
red Marlboro packet over and over in her hand。 〃I started smoking last
month。 It's not as if I was dying for tobacco or anything。 I just sort of
felt like it。〃 〃Why's that？〃 I asked。
She pressed her hands together on the table and thought about it for a
while。 〃What's the difference？ You don't smoke？〃 〃Stopped in June；〃 I
said。
〃How e？〃
〃It was a pain。 I hated running out of smokes in the middle of the
night。 I don't like having something control me that way。〃
〃You're very clear about what you like and what you don't like；〃 she
said。
〃Maybe so；〃 I said。 〃Maybe that's why people don't like me。 Never
have。〃
〃It's because you show it；〃 she said。 〃You make it obvious you don't
care whether people like you or not。 That makes some people angry。〃
She spoke in a near mumble； chin in hand。 〃But I like talking to you。
The way you talk is so unusual。 〃I don't like having something control
me that way'。〃
I helped her wash the dishes。 Standing next o her； I wiped as shet
washed； and stacked everything on the worktop。 〃So；〃 I said； 〃your
family's out today？〃
〃My mother's in her grave。 She died two years ago。〃 〃Yeah； I heard
that part。〃
〃My sister's on a date with her fianc茅。 Probably on a drive。 Her
boyfriend works for some car pany。 He loves cars。 Idon't love
cars。〃
Midori stopped talking and washed。 I stopped talking and wiped。
〃And then there's my father；〃 she said after some time had gone by。
〃Right；〃 I said。
〃He went off to Uruguay in June last year and he's been there ever
since。〃
〃Uruguay？！ Why Uruguay？〃
〃He was thinking of settling there； believe it or not。 An old army
buddy of his has a farm there。 All of a sudden； my father announces
he's going； too； that there's no limit to what he can do in Uruguay； and
he gets on a plane and that's that。 We tried hard to stop him； like；
〃Why do you want to go to a place like that？ You can't speak the
language； you've hardly ever left Tokyo。' But he wouldn't listen。
Losing my mother was a real shock to him。 I mean； it made him a
little cuckoo。 That's how much he loved her。 Really。〃
There was not much I could say in reply。 I stared at Midori with my
mouth open。
〃What do you think he said to my sister and me when our mother
died？ 〃I would much rather have lost the two of you than her。' It
knocked the wind out of me。 I couldn't say a word。 You know what I
mean？ You just can't say something like that。 OK； he lost the woman
he loved； his partner for life。 I understand the pain； the sadness； the
heartbreak。 I pity him。 But you don't tell the daughters you fathered
〃You should have died in her place'。 I mean； that's just too terrible。
Don't you agree？〃
〃Yeah； I see your point。〃
〃That's one wound that will never go away；〃 she said； shaking her
head。 〃But anyway； everyone in my family's a little different。 We've
all got something just a little bit strange。〃
〃So it seems；〃 I said。
〃Still； it is wonderful for two people to love each other； don't you
think？ I mean； for a man to love his wife so much he can tell his
daughters they should have died in her place
〃Maybe so； now that you put it that way。〃
〃And then he dumps the two of us and runs off to Uruguay。〃
I wiped another dish without replying。 After the last one； Midori put
everything back in the cabinets。
〃So； have you heard from your father？〃 I asked。
〃One postcard。 In March。 But what does he write？ 〃It's hot here' or
〃The fruit's not as good as I expected'。 Stuff like that。 I mean； give me
a break！ One stupid picture of a donkey！ He's lost his marbles！ He
didn't even say whether he'd met that guy … that friend of his or
whatever。 He did add near the end that once he's settled he'll send for
me and my sister； but not a word since then。 And he never answers our
letters。〃
〃What would you do if your father said 〃e to Uruguay'？〃
〃I'd go and have a look around at least。 It might be fun。 My sister says
she'd absolutely refuse。 She can't stand dirty things and dirty places。〃
〃Is Uruguay dirty？〃
〃Who knows？ She thinks it is。 Like the roads are full of donkey shit
and it's swarming with flies； and the toilets don't work； and lizards and
scorpions crawl all over the place。 She maybe saw a film like that。 She
can't stand flies； either。 All she wants to do is drive through scenic
places in fancy cars。〃
〃No way。〃
〃I mean； what's wrong with Uruguay？ I'd go。〃 〃So who's running the
shop？〃
〃My sister； but she hates it。 We have an uncle in the neighbourhood
who helps out and makes deliveries。 And I help when I have time。 A
bookshop's not exactly hard labour； so we can manage。 If it gets to be
too much； we'll sell the place。〃
〃Do you like your father？〃
Midori shook her head。 〃Not especially。〃 〃So how can you follow him
to Uruguay？〃
〃I believe in him。〃
〃Believe in him？〃
〃yeah； I'm not that fond of him； but I believe in my father。
How can I not believe in a man who gives up his house； his kids； his
work； and runs off to Uruguay from the shock of losing his wife？ Do
you see what I mean？〃
I sighed。 〃Sort of； but not really。〃
Midori laughed and patted me on the back。 〃Never mind；〃 she said。 〃It
really doesn't matter。〃
One weird thing after another came up that Sunday afternoon。 A fire
broke out near Midori's house and； when we went up to the third…floor
lau