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her。 〃But don't worry；〃 Naoko told me。 〃This is just one of those
times。 It's a lot more fun for me to listen to you two than to talk
myself。〃
Reiko gave herself some chores that took her out of the flat so that
Naoko and I could get in bed。 I kissed her neck and shoulders and
breasts； and she used her hands to bring me to climax as before。
Afterwards； holding her close； I told her how her touch had stayed
with me these two months； that I had thought of her and masturbated。
〃You haven't slept with anybody else？〃 Naoko asked。 〃Not once；〃 I
said。
〃All right； then； here's something else for you to remember。〃 She slid
down and kissed my penis； then enveloped it in her warm mouth and
ran her tongue all over it； her long； straight hair swaying over my
belly and groin with each movement of her lips until I came a second
time。
〃Do you think you can remember that？〃 she asked。
〃Of course I can；〃 I said。 〃I'll always remember it。〃
I held her tight and slid my hand inside her panties； touching her still…
dry vagina。 Naoko shook her head and pulled my hand away。 We held
each other for a time； saying nothing。
〃I'm thinking of getting out of the dorm when term ends and looking
for a flat；〃 I said。 〃I've had it with dorm life。 If I keep working part…
time I can pretty much cover my expenses。 How about ing to
Tokyo to live with me； the way I suggested before？〃
〃Oh； Toru； thank you。 I'm so happy that you would ask me to do
something like that！〃
〃It's not that I think there's anything wrong with this place；〃 I said。
〃It's quiet； the surroundings are perfect； and Reiko is a wonderful
person。 But it's not a place to stay for a long time。 It's too specialized
for a long stay。 The longer you're here； I'm sure； the harder it is to
leave。〃
Instead of answering； Naoko turned her gaze to the outside。 Beyond
the window； there was nothing to see but snow。 Snow clouds hung
low and heavy in the sky； with only the smallest gap between them
and the snow…covered earth。
〃Take your time； think it over；〃 I said。 〃Whatever happens； I'm going
to move by the end of March。 Any time you decide you want to join
me； you can e。〃
Naoko nodded。 I wrapped my arms around her as carefully as if I had
been holding a work of art delicately fashioned from glass。 She put
her arms around my neck。 I was naked； and she wore only the
skimpiest white underwear。 Her body was so beautiful； I could have
enjoyed looking at it all day。
〃Why don't I get wet？〃 Naoko murmured。 〃That one time was the only
time it ever happened。 The day of my twentieth birthday； that April。
The night you held me in your arms。 What is wrong with me？〃
〃It's strictly psychological； I'm sure；〃 I said。 〃Give it time。 There's no
hurry。〃
〃All of my problems are strictly psychological；〃 said Naoko。 〃What if
I never get better？ What if I can never have sex for the rest of my life？
Can you keep loving me just the same？ Will hands and lips always be
enough for you？ Or will you solve the sex problem by sleeping with
other girls？〃
〃I'm a born optimist；〃 I said。
Naoko sat up in bed and slipped on a T…shirt。 She put a flannel shirt
over this； and then climbed into her jeans。 I put my clothes on； too。
〃Let me think about it；〃 said Naoko。 〃And you think about it； too。〃
〃I will；〃 I said。 〃And speaking of lips； what you did with them just
now was great。〃
She reddened slightly and gave a little smile。 〃Kizuki used to say that；
too。〃
〃He and I had pretty much the same tastes and opinions；〃 I said；
smiling。
We sat across from each other at the kitchen table； drinking coffee and
talking about the old days。 She was beginning to talk more about
Kizuki。 She would hesitate； and choose her words carefully。 Every
now and then； the snow would fall for a while and stop。 The sky never
cleared the whole three days I was there。 〃I think I can get back here
in March；〃 I said as I was leaving。 I gave her one last； heavily padded
hug with my winter coat on； and kissed her on the lips。 〃Goodbye；〃
she said。
1970 … a year with a whole new sound to it … came along； and that put
an end to my teenage years。 Now I could step out into a whole new
swamp。 Then it was time for exams； and these I passed with relative
ease。 If you have nothing else to do and spend all your time going to
lectures； it takes no special skill to get through end…of…year exams。
Some problems arose in the dorm； though。 A few guys active in one of
the political factions kept their helmets and iron pipes hidden in their
rooms。 They had a run…in with some of the baseball…players under the
wing of the dorm Head； as a result of which two of them were injured
and six expelled。 The aftershock of the incident was felt for a long
time； spawning minor fights on an almost daily basis。 The atmosphere
that hung over the dorm was oppressive； and people's nerves were on
edge。 I myself was on the verge of getting knocked out by one of the
baseball…players when Nagasawa intervened and managed to smooth
things over。 In any case； it was time for me to get out of there。
Once most of my exams were out of the way； I started looking for a
flat in earnest。 After a week of searching； I came up with the right
place way out in the suburbs of Kichijoji。 The location was not exactly
convenient； but it was a house： an independent house … a real find。
Originally a gardener's shack or some other kind of cottage； it stood
by itself in the corner of a good…sized plot of land； separated from the
main house by a large stretch of neglected garden。 The landlord would
use the front gate； and I the back； which would make it possible for
me to preserve my privacy。 It had one good…sized room； a little
kitchen and bathroom； and an unimaginably huge closet。
It even had a veranda facing the garden。 A nice old couple were
renting the house at way below market value on condition that the
tenant was prepared to move out the following year if their grandson
decided to e to Tokyo。 They assured me that I could live as I
pleased there； they wouldn't make any demands。
Nagasawa helped me with the move。 He managed to borrow a van to
transfer my stuff； and； as promised； he gave me his fridge； TV； and
oversize thermos flask。 He might not need them any more； but for me
they were perfect。 He himself was scheduled to move out in two days；
to a flat in the Mita neighbourhood。
〃I guess we won't be seeing each other for a long time；〃 he said as he
left me； 〃so keep well。 I'm still sure we'll run across each other in
some strange place years from now。〃
〃I'm already looking forward to it；〃 I said。
〃And that time we switched girls； the funny…looking one was way
better。〃
〃Right on；〃 I said with a laugh。 〃But anyway； Nagasawa； take care of
Hatsumi。 Good ones like her are hard to find。 And she's a lot more
fragile than she looks。〃
〃Yeah； I know；〃 he said； nodding。 〃That's why I was hoping you
would take her when I was through。 The two of you would make a
great couple。〃
〃Yeah； right！〃 I said。
〃Just kidding；〃 said Nagasawa。 〃Anyway； be happy。 I get the feeling a
lot of shit is going to e your way； but you're a stubborn