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Kobayashi who had entered the university in 1969。 She lived in a
north…west suburb； Toshima； with her family。 I slipped into a phone
box and dialled the number。
A man answered： 〃Kobayashi Bookshop。〃 Kobayashi Bookshop？
〃Sorry to bother you；〃 I said； 〃but I wonder if Midori might be in？〃
〃No； she's not；〃 he said。
〃Do you think she might be on campus？〃
〃Hmm； no； she's probably at the hospital。 Who's calling； please？〃
Instead of answering； I thanked him and hung up。 The hospital？ Could
she have been injured or fallen ill？ But the man had spoken without
the least sense of emergency。 〃She's probably at the hospital；〃 he had
said； as easily as he might have said 〃She's at the fish shop〃。 I thought
about a few other possibilities until thinking itself became too
problematic； then I went back to the dorm and stretched out on my bed
reading Lord Jim； which I'd borrowed from Nagasawa。 When I had
finished it； I went to his room to give it back。
Nagasawa was on his way to the dining hall； so I went with him for
dinner。
〃How'd the exams go？〃 I asked。 The second round of upper level
exams for the Foreign Ministry had been held in August。
〃Same as always；〃 said Nagasawa as if it had been nothing。
〃You take 'em； you pass。 Group discussions； interviews 。。。 like
screwin' a chick。〃
〃In other words； easy；〃 I said。 〃When do they let you know？〃
〃First week of October。 If I pass； I'll buy you a big dinner。〃
〃So tell me； what kind of guys make it to round two？ All superstars
like you？〃
〃Don't be stupid。 They're a bunch of idiots。 Idiots or weirdos。 I'd say
95 per cent of the guys who want to be bureaucrats aren't worth shit。
I'm not kidding。 They can barely read。〃
〃So why are you trying to join the Foreign Ministry？〃
〃All kinds of reasons；〃 said Nagasawa。 〃I like the idea of working
overseas； for one。 But mainly I want to test my abilities。 If I'm going
to test myself； I want to do it in the biggest field there is … the nation。 I
want to see how high I can climb； how much power I can exercise in
this insanely huge bureaucratic system。 Know what I mean？〃
〃Sounds like a game。〃
〃It is a game。 I don't give a damn about power and money per se。
Really； I don't。 I may be a selfish bastard； but I'm incredibly cool
about shit like that。 I could be a Zen saint。 The one thing I do have；
though； is curiosity。 I want to see what I can do out there in the big；
tough world。〃
〃And you have no use for 〃ideals'； I suppose？〃
〃None。 Life doesn't require ideals。 It requires standards of action。〃
〃But there are lots of other ways to live； aren't there？〃 I asked。
〃You like the way I live； don't you？〃
〃That's beside the point；〃 I said。 〃I could never get into Tokyo
University； I can't sleep with any girl I want whenever I want to； I'm
no great talker； people don't look up to me； I haven't got a girlfriend；
and the future's not going to open up to me when I get a literature BA
from a second…rate private university。 What does it matter if I like the
way you live？〃
〃Are you saying you envy the way I live？〃
〃No； I don't；〃 I said。 〃I'm too used to being who I am。 And I don't
really give a damn about Tokyo University or the Foreign Ministry。
The one thing I envy you for is having a terrific girl friend like
Hatsumi。〃
Nagasawa shut up and ate。 When dinner was over he said； 〃You know；
Watanabe； I have this feeling like； maybe 10 years or 20 years after
we get out of this place； we're going to meet again somewhere。 And
one way or another； I think we're going to have some connection。〃
〃Sounds like Dickens；〃 I said with a smile。
〃I guess it does；〃 he said； smiling back。 〃But my hunches are usually
right。〃
The two of us left the dining hall and went out to a bar。 We stayed
there drinking until after nine。
〃Tell me； Nagasawa；〃 I asked； 〃what is the 〃standard of action' in your
life？〃
〃You'll laugh if I tell you；〃 he said。
〃No I won't。〃
〃All right；〃 he said。 〃To be a gentleman。〃
I didn't laugh； but I nearly fell off my chair。 〃To be a gentleman？ A
gentleman？〃
〃You heard me。〃
〃What does it mean to be a gentleman？ How do you define it？〃
〃A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do but what
he should do。〃
〃You're the weirdest guy I've ever met；〃 I said。
〃You're the straightest guy I've ever met；〃 he said。 And he paid for us
both。
I went to the following week's drama lecture； but still saw no sign of
Midori Kobayashi。 After a quick survey of the room convinced me she
wasn't there； I took my usual seat in the front row and wrote a letter to
Naoko while I waited for the lecturer to arrive。 I wrote about my
summer travels … the roads I had walked； the towns I had passed
through； the
people I had met。 And every night I thought of you。 Now that I can no
longer see you； I realize how much I need you。 University is incredibly
boring； but as a matter of self…discipline I am going to all my lectures
and doing all the assignments。 Everything seems pointless since you
left。 I'd like to have a nice； long talk with you。 If possible； I'd like to
visit your sanatorium and see you for several hours。 And； if possible；
I'd like to go out walking with you side by side the way we used to。
Please try to answer this letter … even a short note。 I won't mind。
I filled four sheets； folded them； slipped them into an envelope； and
addressed it to Naoko care of her family。
By then the lecturer had arrived； wiping the sweat from his brow as he
took the register。 He was a small； mournfullooking man who walked
with a metal cane。 While not exactly fun； the lectures in his course
were always well prepared and worthwhile。 After remarking that the
weather was as hot as ever； he began to talk about the use of the deus
ex machina in Euripides and explained how the concept of 〃god〃 was
different in Euripides than in Aeschylus or Sophocles。 He had been
talking for some 15 minutes when the lecture…hall door opened and in
walked Midori。 She was wearing a dark blue sports shirt； cream…
coloured cotton trousers and her usual sunglasses。 After flashing a
〃sorry I'm late〃 kind of smile at the professor； she sat down next to
me。 Then she took a notebook … my notebook … from her shoulder bag；
and handed it to me。 Inside； I found a note： Sorry about Wednesday。
Are you angry？
The lecture was about half over and the professor was drawing a
sketch of a Greek stage on the blackboard when the door opened again
and two students in helmets walked in。 They looked like some kind of
edy team； one tall； thin and pale； the other short； round and dark
with a long beard that didn't suit him。 The tall one carried an armful of
political agitation handbills。 The short one walked up to the professor
and said； with a degree of politeness； that they would like to use the
second half of his lecture for political debate and hoped that he would
cooperate； adding； 〃The world is full of problems far more urgent and
relevant than Greek tragedy。〃 This was more an announcement than a
request。 The professor replied； 〃I rather doubt that the world has
problems far more urgent and relevant than Greek tragedy； but you're