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given the book rights also。
Lang did not think quite so highly of “Cleopatra” as Longman； at any rate at first； as the following letter shows：
You will loathe me for the advice； but if I were you I’d put “Cleopatra” away for as long as possible； and then read it as a member of the public。 You will find； I think； that between chapters 3 and 8 it is too long； too full of antiquarian detail； and too slow in movement to carry the general public with it。 I am pretty certain of this。 The style is very well kept up； but it is not an advantage for a story to be told in an archaic style （this of course is unavoidable）。 For that reason I would condense a good deal and it could be done。 You’ll find that when you e fresh to it again。 The topic is horribly difficult： there is a kind of living life in the modern Introduction which must of the rest wants； as far as I have gone。 I see pretty clearly where and how the condensing could be done。 You don’t want a reader’s interest to fall asleep； and now it would in places。 I am writing with perfect frankness because； of course； I want it to be A1 in its genre — a dreadfully difficult genre it is。 As far as I have read I have made a few verbal notes where the style occasionally is not consistent。 But the main thing is； at any expense； to hurry on more — to give the impression of solemnity； but at more speed； and with much fewer strokes。 I know you hate altering； so it is a prendre ou a laisser； this long screed of opinion。 Of course I see it is a book you have written for yourself。 But the B。P。 must also be thought of。
In a second letter； written about the same time； he says：
I gave all my morning to “Cleopatra” and return her。 After Chapter 8 she’ll do！ I have marked a good many minutiae of style； or expression。 In a few places； a judicious shortening of moral reflections by Harmachis would give him more point to my mind。 Unluckily neither Harmachis nor Cleopatra is sympathetic。 Can’t be helped。 I think even more than before that you should lighten the ship by greatly shortening between chapters 3 and 8。 I can estimate this； because today I read slick on rapidly and was interested all the way。 In the earlier part my attention flagged over all the preparation； and many a traveller would not have persevered。 I like Antony； but don’t feel that that inexplicable person has had full justice done him。 The inevitably archaic style will not make it more popular； but that can’t possibly be helped。 As a whole I think the manner is very well kept up。 I venture to suggest some alterations where modern words e in out of tune。
Screw it a little tighter； and I think it is undeniably an artistic piece of work。 The imagination kindles up after the killing of Paulus。 Before； it is not always up to your level of wakefulness and energy。 At least that’s my impression。 What an awful piece of romance the end is！ I like Charmion to turn on him for his bullying the queen。 The absence of any business for the other girl； Iras； strikes me as rather a pity。 I’d like； if you don’t mind； to read over the early part with you as I feel a good deal turns on adding energy to that； and on condensing。 The Menkara bit is A1； and Cyprus is good — did you take the wreck from the Odyssey at all？ I don’t see who they can say you stole your plot from。 They’ll say the parts from Plutarch are from Shakespeare； probably they never read Plutarch！
I do not know whether I cut out much from the chapters which Lang though too long。 Probably not； since I have always been a very bad hand at making alterations in what I have once put down； unless indeed I rewrite the entire work。 Moreover； at any rate in my books； this cutting out of passages resembles the pulling of bricks from a built wall； since it will be found that every or nearly every passage； even if it is of a reflective character； is developed or alluded to in some portion of what follows。 The pulling out of bricks may or may not improve the appearance of the wall； but it certainly decreases its stability。
In the Author’s Note at the mencement of “Cleopatra” I see that I wrote the following passage； evidently having Lang’s criticism in mind：
Unfortunately it is scarcely possible to write a book of this nature and period without introducing a certain amount of illustrative matter； for by no other means can the long dead past be made to live again before the reader’s eyes with all its accessories of faded pomp and forgotten mystery。 For such students as seek a story only； and are not interested in the Faith； ceremonies； or customs of the Mother of Religion and Civilisation； ancient Egypt； it is； however； respectfully suggested that they should exercise the art of skipping and open this tale at its second book。
I dedicated “Cleopatra” to my mother； because I thought it the best book I had written or was likely to write； although since then I have modified that opinion in favour or one or two that came after it。 The following letter from her was written not long before her death； and was； I think； the last I ever received from her。
Bradenham： June 29； 1889。
My dearest Rider； — I have only a few minutes to write and thank you for your charming gift； but I must not let the week pass over without my doing so。 I think it is got up as well as possible； and the Dedication is most successfully acplished； which must be as gratifying to you as to me。 I have not thoroughly looked at the illustrations； but see that they are very much more to be liked than those of the Illustrated News。 Thank you greatly for your excellent work； my dear son。 It certainly redounds greatly to you； dearest Rider； whatever the critics may say； and I have no doubt they will do their worst。 But I think posterity will do justice to your production。 I will write no more as I cannot easily add to this。
Your ever most affectionate Mother；
Ella Haggard。
There is also a letter from my father in which he says that my mother opened and looked at the book “not without tears。” Whether she ever read it herself I do not know； for by this time her sight was failing much。
A few months later I stood at her death…bed and received her last blessing。 But of that long…drawn out and very sad scene； even after the lapse of two…and…twenty years； I cannot bear to write。
“Cleopatra” ran serially through the Illustrated London News before its appearance in book form。 It is a work that has found many friends； but my recollection is that； as my mother foresaw； it was a good deal attacked by the critics who were angry that； after Shakespeare’s play； I should dare to write of Cleopatra。 However； I have not kept any of the notices； indeed I think I saw but few。 Of professional critics already I began to feel a certain repletion。 Little do these gentlemen know the harm that they do sometimes。 A story es into my mind in illustration of this truth。 One day； years later； I was in the little writing…room of the Savile Club； that on the first floor with fern…cases in the windows where one may not smoke。 At least； so things were when I ceased to be a member。 Presently Thomas Hardy entered and took up one of the leading weekly papers in which was a long review of his last novel。 He read it； then came to me — there w