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little novels-第53章

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He interrupted me sternly。 〃I would not cross the street to see her;〃 he said。 〃A woman who deserts her child is a monster。 Forgive me for speaking so; miss! When I see good mothers and their children it maddens me when I think of what _my_ childhood was。〃

Hearing these words; and watching him attentively while he spoke; I could see that my silence would be a mercy; not a crime。 I hastened to speak of other things。

〃If you decide to leave us;〃 I said; 〃when shall you go?〃

His eyes softened instantly。 Little by little the color faded out of his face as he answered me。

〃The General kindly said; when I spoke of leaving my place〃 His voice faltered; and he paused to steady it。 〃My master;〃 he resumed; 〃said that I need not keep my new employer waiting by staying for the customary month; providedprovided you were willing to dispense with my services。〃

So far; I had succeeded in controlling myself。 At that reply I felt my resolution failing me。 I saw how he suffered; I saw how manfully he struggled to conceal it。

〃I am not willing;〃 I said。 〃I am sorryvery; very sorry to lose you。 But I will do anything that is for your good。 I can say no more。〃

He rose suddenly; as if to leave the room; mastered himself; stood for a moment silently looking at methen looked away again; and said his parting words。

〃If I succeed; Miss Mina; in my new employmentif I get on to higher thingsis itis it presuming too much; to ask if I might; some dayperhaps when you are out riding aloneif I might speak to youonly to ask if you are well and happy〃

He could say no more。 I saw the tears in his eyes; saw him shaken by the convulsive breathings which break from men in the rare moments when they cry。 He forced it back even then。 He bowed to meoh; God; he bowed to me; as if he were only my servant! as if he were too far below me to take my hand; even at that moment! I could have endured anything else; I believe I could still have restrained myself under any other circumstances。 It matters little now; my confession must be made; whatever you may think of me。 I flew to him like a frenzied creatureI threw my arms round his neckI said to him; 〃Oh; Michael; don't you know that I love you?〃 And then I laid my head on his breast; and held him to me; and said no more。

In that moment of silence; the door of the room was opened。 I started; and looked up。 Lady Claudia was standing on the threshold。

I saw in her face that she had been listeningshe must have followed him when he was on his way to my room。 That conviction steadied me。 I took his hand in mine; and stood side by side with him; waiting for her to speak first。 She looked at Michael; not at me。 She advanced a step or two; and addressed him in these words:

〃It is just possible that _you_ have some sense of decency left。 Leave the room。〃

That deliberate insult was all that I wanted to make me completely mistress of myself。 I told Michael to wait a moment; and opened my writing desk。 I wrote on an envelope the address in London of a faithful old servant; who had attended my mother in her last moments。 I gave it to Michael。 〃Call there to…morrow morning;〃 I said。 〃You will find me waiting for you。〃

He looked at Lady Claudia; evidently unwilling to leave me alone with her。 〃Fear nothing;〃 I said; 〃I am old enough to take care of myself。 I have only a word to say to this lady before I leave the house。 〃With that; I took his arm; and walked with him to the door; and said good…by almost as composedly as if we had been husband and wife already。

Lady Claudia's eyes followed me as I shut the door again and crossed the room to a second door which led into my bed…chamber。 She suddenly stepped up to me; just as I was entering the room; and laid her hand on my arm。

〃What do I see in your face?〃 she asked as much of herself as of mewith her eyes fixed in keen inquiry on mine。

〃You shall know directly;〃 I answered。 〃Let me get my bonnet and cloak first。〃

〃Do you mean to leave the house?〃

〃I do。〃

She rang the bell。 I quietly dressed myself; to go out。

The servant answered the bell; as I returned to the sitting…room。

〃Tell your master I wish to see him instantly;〃 said Lady Claudia。

〃My master has gone out; my lady。〃

〃To his club?〃

〃I believe so; my lady。〃

〃I will send you with a letter to him。 Come back when I ring again。〃 She turned to me as the man withdrew。 〃Do you refuse to stay here until the General returns?〃

〃I shall be happy to see the General; if you will inclose my address in your letter to him。〃

Replying in those terms; I wrote the address for the second time。 Lady Claudia knew perfectly well; when I gave it to her; that I was going to a respectable house kept by a woman who had nursed me when I was a child。

〃One last question;〃 she said。 〃Am I to tell the General that it is your intention to marry your groom?〃

Her tone stung me into making an answer which I regretted the moment it had passed my lips。

〃You can put it more plainly; if you like;〃 I said。 〃You can tell the General that it is my intention to marry _your_ son。〃

She was near the door; on the point of leaving me。 As I spoke; she turned with a ghastly stare of horrorfelt about her with her hands as if she was groping in darknessand dropped on the floor。

I instantly summoned help。 The women…servants carried her to my bed。 While they were restoring her to herself; I wrote a few lines telling the miserable woman how I had discovered her secret。

〃Your husband's tranquillity;〃 I added; 〃is as precious to me as my own。 As for your son; you know what he thinks of the mother who deserted him。 Your secret is safe in my keepingsafe from your husband; safe from your son; to the end of my life。〃

I sealed up those words; and gave them to her when she had come to herself again。 I never heard from her in reply。 I have never seen her from that time to this。 She knows she can trust me。

And what did my good uncle say; when we next met? I would rather report what he did; when he had got the better of his first feelings of anger and surprise on hearing of my contemplated marriage。 He consented to receive us on our wedding…day; and he gave my husband the appointment which places us both in an independent position for life。

But he had his misgivings。 He checked me when I tried to thank him。

〃Come back in a year's time;〃 he said。 〃I will wait to be thanked till the experience of your married life tells me that I have deserved it。〃

The year passed; and the General received the honest expression of my gratitude。 He smiled and kissed me; but there was something in his face which suggested that he was not quite satisfied yet。

〃Do you believe that I have spoken sincerely?〃 I asked。

〃I firmly believe it;〃 he answeredand there he stopped。

A wiser woman would have taken the hint and dropped the subject。 My folly persisted in putting another question:

〃Tell me; uncle。 Haven't I proved that I was right when I married my groom?〃

〃No; my dear。 You have only proved that you are a lucky woman!〃


MR。 LEPEL AND THE HOUSEKEEPER

FIRST EPOCH。

THE Italians are born actors。

At this conclusion I arrived; sitting in a Roman theaternow many years since。 My friend and t
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