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find his master。 Just as he is half…way between the baggage car and the
smoker； the couplin' give wayright on that heavy grade between Custer
and Rocky Point。 Well； sir； Clarence wound his head 'round one brake
wheel and his tail around the other； and held that train together to the
bottom of the grade。 But it stretched him twenty…eight feet and they had
to advertise him as a boa…constrictor。〃 Windy Bill's story of the
faithful bullsnake aroused to reminiscence the grizzled stranger； who
thereupon held forth as follows：
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Wall； I've see things and I've heerd things； some of them ornery； and
some you'd love to believe； they was that gorgeous and improbable。
Nat'ral history was always my hobby and sportin' events my special
pleasure and this yarn of Windy's reminds me of the only chanst I ever had
to ring in business and pleasure and hobby all in one grand merry…go…
round of joy。 It come about like this： One day； a few year back； I was
sittin' on the beach at Santa Barbara watchin' the sky stay up； and
wonderin' what to do with my year's wages； when a little squinch…eye
round…face with big bow spectacles came and plumped down beside me。
〃Did you ever stop to think；〃 says he； shovin' back his hat； 〃that if the
horsepower delivered by them waves on this beach in one single hour
could be concentrated behind washin' machines； it would be enough to
wash all the shirts for a city of four hundred and fifty…one thousand one
hundred and thirty…six people？〃
〃Can't say I ever did；〃 says I； squintin' at him sideways。 〃Fact；〃
says he； 〃and did it ever occur to you that if all the food a man eats in the
course of a natural life could be gathered together at one time； it would fill
a wagon…train twelve miles long？〃 〃You make me hungry；〃 says I。
〃And ain't it interestin' to reflect；〃 he goes on； 〃that if all the finger…nail
parin's of the human race for one year was to be collected and subjected to
hydraulic pressure it would equal in size the pyramid of Cheops？〃
〃Look yere；〃 says I； sittin' up； 〃did YOU ever pause to excogitate that if all
the hot air you is dispensin' was to be collected together it would fill a
balloon big enough to waft you and me over that Bullyvard of Palms to
yonder gin mill on the corner？〃 He didn't say nothin' to thatjust
yanked me to my feet； faced me towards the gin mill above mentioned；
and exerted considerable pressure on my arm in urgin' of me forward。
〃You ain't so much of a dreamer； after all；〃 thinks I。 〃In important
matters you are plumb decisive。〃 We sat down at little tables； and my
friend ordered a beer and a chicken sandwich。 〃Chickens；〃 says he；
gazin' at the sandwich； 〃is a dollar apiece in this country； and plumb scarce。
Did you ever pause to ponder over the returns chickens would give on a
small investment？ Say you start with ten hens。 Each hatches out
thirteen aigs； of which allow a loss of say six for childish accidents。 At
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the end of the year you has eighty chickens。 At the end of two years that
flock has increased to six hundred and twenty。 At the end of the third
year〃
He had the medicine tongue！ Ten days later him and me was
occupyin' of an old ranch fifty mile from anywhere。 When they run
stage…coaches this joint used to be a roadhouse。 The outlook was on
about a thousand little brown foothills。 A road two miles four rods two
foot eleven inches in sight run by in front of us。 It come over one foothill
and disappeared over another。 I know just how long it was； for later in
the game I measured it。 Out back was about a hundred little wire
chicken corrals filled with chickens。 We had two kinds。 That was the
doin's of Tuscarora。 My pardner called himself Tuscarora Maxillary。 I
asked him once if that was his real name。 〃It's the realest little old
name you ever heerd tell of；〃 says he。 〃I know； for I made it myself
liked the sound of her。 Parents ain't got no rights to name their children。
Parents don't have to be called them names。〃 Well； these chickens； as
I said； was of two kinds。 The first was these low…set； heavyweight
propositions with feathers on their laigs； and not much laigs at that； called
Cochin Chinys。 The other was a tall ridiculous outfit made up entire of
bulgin' breast and gangle laigs。 They stood about two foot and a half tall；
and when they went to peck the ground their tail feathers stuck straight up
to the sky。 Tusky called 'em Japanese Games。 〃Which the chief
advantage of them chickens is；〃 says he； 〃that in weight about ninety per
cent of 'em is breast meat。 Now my idee is； that if we can cross 'em with
these Cochin Chiny fowls we'll have a low…hung； heavyweight chicken
runnin' strong on breast meat。 These Jap Games is too small； but if we
can bring 'em up in size and shorten their laigs； we'll shore have a winner。〃
That looked good to me； so we started in on that idee。 The theery was
bully； but she didn't work out。 The first broods we hatched growed up with
big husky Cochin Chiny bodies and little short necks； perched up on laigs
three foot long。 Them chickens couldn't reach ground nohow。 We
had to build a table for 'em to eat off； and when they went out rustlin' for
themselves they had to confine themselves to sidehills or flyin' insects。
Their breasts was all right； though〃And think of them drumsticks for the
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boardinghouse trade！〃 says Tusky。 So far things wasn't so bad。 We
had a good grubstake。 Tusky and me used to