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there。 I don't think any man could have loved her more than I did。
But there were times when my heart stood still； it didn't seem as if
she understood how much I loved her。 One day； I remember； she coaxed
me to take her camping。 We drifted down…stream all the afternoon；
and in the evening pulled into the reeds under the willow…boughs and
lit a fire for her to cook bythough； as a matter of fact； our
provisions were cooked alreadybut you know how it is； all the
romance was in having a real fire。 'We won't pretend；' she kept
saying。 While we were eating our supper a hare came to our clearing…
…a big fellowhow surprised he looked！ 'The tall hare；' Eilie
called him。 After that we sat by the ashes and watched the shadows；
till at last she roamed away from me。 The time went very slowly； I
got up to look for her。 It was past sundown。 I called and called。
It was a long time before I found herand she was like a wild thing；
hot and flushed； her pretty frock torn； her hands and face scratched；
her hair down； like some beautiful creature of the woods。 If one
loves； a little thing will scare one。 I didn't think she had noticed
my fright； but when we got back to the boat she threw her arms round
my neck； and said； 'I won't ever leave you again！'
〃Once in the night I wokea water…hen was crying； and in the
moonlight a kingfisher flew across。 The wonder on the riverthe
wonder of the moon and trees； the soft bright mist； the stillness！ It
was like another world； peaceful； enchanted； far holier than ours。
It seemed like a vision of the thoughts that come to onehow seldom！
and go if one tries to grasp them。 Magicpoetry…sacred！〃 He was
silent a minute； then went on in a wistful voice： 〃I looked at her；
sleeping like a child； with her hair loose； and her lips apart； and I
thought： 'God do so to me； if ever I bring her pain！' How was I to
understand her？ the mystery and innocence of her soul！ The river has
had all my light and all my darkness； the happiest days； and the
hours when I've despaired； and I like to think of it； for； you know；
in time bitter memories fade； only the good remain。。。。 Yet the good
have their own pain； a different kind of aching； for we shall never
get them back。 Sir；〃 he said； turning to me with a faint smile；
〃it's no use crying over spilt milk。。。。 In the neighbourhood of
Lucy's inn； the Rose and MaybushCan you imagine a prettier name？ I
have been all over the world； and nowhere found names so pretty as in
the English country。 There； too； every blade of grass； and flower；
has a kind of pride about it； knows it will be cared for； and all the
roads； trees； and cottages； seem to be certain that they will live
for ever。。。。 But I was going to tell you： Half a mile from the inn
was a quiet old house which we used to call the 'Convent'though I
believe it was a farm。 We spent many afternoons there； trespassing
in the orchardEilie was fond of trespassing； if there were a long
way round across somebody else's property； she would always take it。
We spent our last afternoon in that orchard； lying in the long grass。
I was reading Childe Harold for the first timea wonderful； a
memorable poem！ I was at that passagethe bull…fightyou remember：
〃'Thrice sounds the clarion； lo！ the signal falls；
The din expands； and expectation mute'
when suddenly Eilie said： 'Suppose I were to leave off loving you？'
It was as if some one had struck me in the face。 I jumped up； and
tried to take her in my arms； but she slipped away； then she turned；
and began laughing softly。 I laughed too。 I don't know why。。。。
VI
〃We went back to London the next day； we lived quite close to the
school； and about five days a week Dalton came to dine with us。 He
would have come every day； if he had not been the sort of man who
refuses to consult his own pleasure。 We had more pupils than ever。
In my leisure I taught my wife to fence。 I have never seen any one
so lithe and quick； or so beautiful as she looked in her fencing
dress； with embroidered shoes。
〃I was completely happy。 When a man has obtained his desire he
becomes careless and self…satisfied； I was watchful； however； for I
knew that I was naturally a selfish man。 I studied to arrange my
time and save my money； to give her as much pleasure as I could。
What she loved best in the world just then was riding。 I bought a
horse for her； and in the evenings of the spring and summer we rode
together； but when it was too dark to go out late； she would ride
alone； great distances； sometimes spend the whole day in the saddle；
and come back so tired she could hardly walk upstairsI can't say
that I liked that。 It made me nervous； she was so headlongbut I
didn't think it right to interfere with her。 I had a good deal of
anxiety about money； for though I worked hard and made more than
ever； there never seemed enough。 I was anxious to saveI hoped； of
coursebut we had no child； and this was a trouble to me。 She grew
more beautiful than ever； and I think was happy。 Has it ever struck
you that each one of us lives on the edge of a volcano？ There is； I
imagine； no one who has not some affection or interest so strong that
he counts the rest for nothing； beside it。 No doubt a man may live
his life through without discovering that。 But some of us！ I am
not complaining； what isis。〃 He pulled the cap lower over his
eyes； and clutched his hands firmly on the top of his stick。 He was
like a man who rushes his horse at some hopeless fence； unwilling to
give himself time； for fear of craning at the last moment。 〃In the
spring of '78； a new pupil came to me； a young man of twenty…one who
was destined for the army。 I took a fancy to him； and did my best to
turn him into a good swordsman； but there was a kind of perverse
recklessness in him； for a few minutes one would make a great
impression； then he would grow utterly careless。 'Francis；' I would
say； 'if I were you I should be ashamed。' 'Mr。 Brune；' he would
answer； 'why should I be ashamed？ I didn't make myself。' God knows；
I wish to do him justice； he had a heartone day he drove up in a
cab； and brought in his poor dog； who had been run over； and was
dying： For half an hour he shut himself up with its body； we could
hear him sobbing like a child； he came out with his eyes all red； and
cried： 'I know where to find the brute who drove over him；' and off
he rushed。 He had beautiful Italian eyes； a slight figure； not very
tall； dark hair； a little dark moustache； and his lips were always a
trifle partedit was that； and his walk； and the way he drooped his
eyelids； which gave him a peculiar； soft； proud look。 I used to tell
him that he'd never make a soldier！ 'Oh！' he'd answer； 'that'll be
all right when the time comes！ He believed in a kind of luck that
was to do everything for him； when the time came。 One day he came in
as I was giving Eilie her lesson。 This was the first time they saw
each other。 Afte