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his wife's friend。
〃'We brought up my son together； we made a man of him； a thorough man；
intelligent； full of sense and resolution； of large and generous ideas。
The boy reached the age of seventeen。
〃'He； the young man； was fond of mymy lover； almost as fond of him as I
was myself； for he had been equally cherished and cared for by both of
us。 He used to call him his 'dear friend；' and respected him immensely；
having never received from him anything but wise counsels and an example
of integrity； honor； and probity。 He looked upon him as an old loyal and
devoted comrade of his mother； as a sort of moral father； guardian；
protectorhow am I to describe it？
〃'Perhaps the reason why he never asked any questions was that he had
been accustomed from his earliest years to see this man in my house； at
my side； and at his side； always concerned about us both。
〃'One evening the three of us were to dine togetherthis was my chief
amusementand I waited for the two men； asking myself which of them
would be the first to arrive。 The door opened； it was my old friend。
I went toward him； with outstretched arms； and he pressed my lips in a
long； delicious kiss。
〃'All of a sudden； a slight sound； a faint rustling； that mysterious
sensation which indicates the presence of another person； made us start
and turn round abruptly。 Jean； my son； stood there； livid； staring at
us。
〃'There was a moment of atrocious confusion。 I drew back； holding out my
hand toward my son as if in supplication； but I could not see him。 He
had gone。
〃'We remained facing each othermy lover and Icrushed； unable to utter
a word。 I sank into an armchair； and I felt a desire； a vague； powerful
desire； to flee； to go out into the night； and to disappear forever。
Then convulsive sobs rose in my throat； and I wept； shaken with spasms；
my heart breaking； all my nerves writhing with the horrible sensation of
an irreparable； misfortune； and with that dreadful sense of shame which；
in such moments as this； fills a mother's heart。
〃'He looked at me in a terrified manner； not venturing to approach； to
speak to me； or to touch me； for fear of the boy's return。 At last he
said：
〃'I am going to follow him…to talk to himto explain matters to him。 In
short； I must see him and let him know〃
〃'And he hurried away。
〃'I waitedwaited in a distracted frame of mind； trembling at the least
sound； starting with fear and with some unutterably strange and
intolerable emotion at every slight crackling of the fire in the grate。
〃'I waited an hour； two hours； feeling my heart swell with a dread I had
never before experienced； such anguish that I would not wish the greatest
criminal to endure ten minutes of such misery。 Where was my son？ What
was he doing？
〃'About midnight； a messenger brought me a note from my lover。 I still
know its contents by heart：
〃'Has your son returned？ I did not find him。 I am down here。 I do not
want to go up at this hour。〃
〃'I wrote in pencil on the same slip of paper：
〃'Jean has not returned。 You must find him。〃
〃'And I 'remained all night in the armchair； waiting for him。
〃'I felt as if I were going mad。 I longed to run wildly about； to roll
on the ground。 And yet I did not even stir； but kept waiting hour after
hour。 What was going to happen？ I tried to imagine； to guess。 But I
could form no conception； in spite of my efforts； in spite of the
tortures of my soul！
〃'And now I feared that they might meet。 What would they do in that
case？ What would my son do？ My mind was torn with fearful doubts； with
terrible suppositions。
〃'You can understand my feelings； can you not； monsieur？
〃'My chambermaid； who knew nothing； who understood nothing； came into the
room every moment； believing； naturally； that I had lost my reason。 I
sent her away with a word or a movement of the hand。 She went for the
doctor； who found me in the throes of a nervous attack。
〃'I was put to bed。 I had brain fever。
〃'When I regained consciousness； after a long illness； I saw beside my
bed myloveralone。
〃'I exclaimed：
〃'My son？ Where is my son？
〃'He made no reply。 I stammered：
〃'Dead…dead。 Has he committed suicide？
〃'No； no； I swear it。 But we have not found him in spite of all my
efforts。
〃'Then； becoming suddenly exasperated and even indignantfor women are
subject to such outbursts of unaccountable and unreasoning angerI said：
〃'I forbid you to come near me or to see me again unless you find him。
Go away！
〃He did go away。
〃'I have never seen one or the other of them since； monsieur； and thus I
have lived for the last twenty years。
〃'Can you imagine what all this meant to me？ Can you understand this
monstrous punishment； this slow； perpetual laceration of a mother's
heart； this abominable； endless waiting？ Endless； did I say？ No； it is
about to end； for I am dying。 I am dying without ever again seeing
either of themeither one or the other！
〃'Hethe man I lovedhas written to me every day for the last twenty
years； and II have never consented to see him； even for one second； for
I had a strange feeling that； if he were to come back here； my son would
make his appearance at the same moment。 Oh！ my son！ my son！ Is he dead？
Is he living？ Where is he hiding？ Over there； perhaps； beyond the great
ocean； in some country so far away that even its very name is unknown to
me！ Does he ever think of me？ Ah！ if he only knew！ How cruel one's
children are！ Did he understand to what frightful suffering he condemned
me； into what depths of despair； into what tortures； he cast me while I
was still in the prime of life； leaving me to suffer until this moment；
when I am about to dieme； his mother； who loved him with all the
intensity of a mother's love？ Oh！ isn't it cruel； cruel？
〃'You will tell him all this； monsieurwill you not？ You will repeat to
him my last words：
〃'My child； my dear； dear child； be less harsh toward poor women！ Life
is already brutal and savage enough in its dealings with them。 My dear
son； think of what the existence of your poor mother has been ever since
the day you left her。 My dear child； forgive her； and love her； now that
she is dead； for she has had to endure the most frightful penance ever
inflicted on a woman。〃
〃She gasped for breath； trembling； as if she had addressed the last words
to her son and as if he stood by her bedside。
〃Then she added：
〃'You will tell him also； monsieur； that I never again saw…the other。'
〃Once more she ceased speaking； then； in a broken voice； she said：
〃'Leave me now； I beg of you。 I want to die all alone； since they are
not with me。'〃
Maitre Le Brument added：
〃And I left the house； monsieurs； crying like a fool； so bitterly；
indeed； that my coachman turned round to stare at me。
〃And to think that； every day； dramas like this are being enacted all
around us！
〃I have not found the sonthat sonwell； say what you like about him；
but I call him that criminal son！〃
THE HAND
All were crowding around M。 Bermutier； the judge； who was giving his
opinion about the Saint…Cloud mystery。 For a month this in explicable