按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
William handed her a note。 She looked at the superscription。 It was
from Courtier。 She went back into the room。 Through its half…closed
door the figure of little Ann could be seen； with her legs rather
wide apart； and her hands clasped on her low…down belt； pointing up
at William her sudden little nose。 Barbara shut the door abruptly；
broke the seal； and read：
〃DEAR LADY BARBARA；
〃I am sorry to say my interview with your brother was fruitless。
〃I happened to be sitting in the Park just now； and I want to wish
you every happiness before I go。 It has been the greatest pleasure
to know you。 I shall never have a thought of you that will not be my
pride； nor a memory that will not help me to believe that life is
good。 If I am tempted to feel that things are dark； I shall remember
that you are breathing this same mortal air。 And to beauty and joy'
I shall take off my hat with the greater reverence； that once I was
permitted to walk and talk； with you。 And so； good…bye； and God
bless you。
Your faithful servant；
〃CHARLES COURTIER。〃
Her cheeks burned； quick sighs escaped her lips； she read the letter
again； but before getting to the end could not see the words for
mist。 If in that letter there had been a word of complaint or even
of regret！ She could not let him go like this； without good…bye；
without any explanation at all。 He should not think of her as a
cold； stony flirt； who had been merely stealing a few weeks'
amusement out of him。 She would explain to him at all events that it
had not been that。 She would make him understand that it was not
what he thoughtthat something in her wantedwanted！ Her mind
was all confused。 〃What was it？〃 she thought： 〃What did I do？〃 And
sore with anger at herself； she screwed the letter up in her glove；
and ran out。 She walked swiftly down to Piccadilly； and crossed into
the Green Park。 There she passed Lord Malvezin and a friend
strolling up towards Hyde Park Corner； and gave them a very faint
bow。 The composure of those two precise and well…groomed figures
sickened her just then。 She wanted to run； to fly to this meeting
that should remove from him the odious feelings he must have； that
she； Barbara Caradoc； was a vulgar enchantress； a common traitress
and coquette！ And his letterwithout a syllable of reproach！ Her
cheeks burned so； that she could not help trying to hide them from
people who passed。
As she drew nearer to his rooms she walked slower； forcing herself to
think what she should do； what she should let him do！ But she
continued resolutely forward。 She would not shrink nowwhatever
came of it！ Her heart fluttered； seemed to stop beating； fluttered
again。 She set her teeth； a sort of desperate hilarity rose in her。
It was an adventure！ Then she was gripped by the feeling that had
come to her on the roof。 The whole thing was bizarre； ridiculous！
She stopped； and drew the letter from her glove。 It might be
ridiculous； but it was due from her； and closing her lips very tight；
she walked on。 In thought she was already standing close to him； her
eyes shut； waiting； with her heart beating wildly； to know what she
would feel when his lips had spoken； perhaps touched her face or
hand。 And she had a sort of mirage vision of herself； with eyelashes
resting on her cheeks； lips a little parted； arms helpless at her
sides。 Yet； incomprehensibly； his figure was invisible。 She
discovered then that she was standing before his door。
She rang the bell calmly； but instead of dropping her hand； pressed
the little bare patch of palm left open by the glove to her face； to
see whether it was indeed her own cheek flaming so。
The door had been opened by some unseen agency； disclosing a passage
and flight of stairs covered by a red carpet； at the foot of which
lay an old； tangled； brown…white dog full of fleas and sorrow。
Unreasoning terror seized on Barbara； her body remained rigid； but
her spirit began flying back across the Green Park； to the very hall
of Valleys House。 Then she saw coming towards her a youngish woman
in a blue apron； with mild； reddened eyes。
〃Is this where Mr。 Courtier lives？〃
〃Yes； miss。〃 The teeth of the young woman were few in number and
rather black； and Barbara could only stand there saying nothing； as
if her body had been deserted between the sunlight and this dim red
passage； which led to…what？
The woman spoke again：
〃I'm sorry if you was wanting him； miss； he's just gone away。〃
Barbara felt a movement in her heart； like the twang and quiver of an
elastic band； suddenly relaxed。 She bent to stroke the head of the
old dog； who was smelling her shoes。 The woman said：
〃And； of course； I can't give you his address； because he's gone to
foreign parts。〃
With a murmur； of whose sense she knew nothing； Barbara hurried out
into the sunshine。 Was she glad？ Was she sorry？ At the corner of
the street she turned and looked back； the two heads； of the woman
and the dog； were there still； poked out through the doorway。
A horrible inclination to laugh seized her； followed by as horrible a
desire to cry。
CHAPTER XXVI
By the river the West wind； whose murmuring had visited Courtier and
Miltoun the night before； was bringing up the first sky of autumn。
Slow…creeping and fleecy grey； the clouds seemed trying to overpower
a sun that shone but fitfully even thus early in the day。 While
Audrey Noel was dressing sunbeams danced desperately on the white
wall； like little lost souls with no to…morrow； or gnats that wheel
and wheel in brief joy； leaving no footmarks on the air。 Through the
chinks of a side window covered by a dark blind some smoky filaments
of light were tethered to the back of her mirror。 Compounded of
trembling grey spirals； so thick to the eye that her hand felt
astonishment when it failed to grasp them； and so jealous as ghosts
of the space they occupied； they brought a moment's distraction to a
heart not happy。 For how could she be happy； her lover away from her
now thirty hours； without having overcome with his last kisses the
feeling of disaster which had settled on her when he told her of his
resolve。 Her eyes had seen deeper than his； her instinct had
received a message from Fate。
To be the dragger…down； the destroyer of his usefulness； to be not
the helpmate； but the clog； not the inspiring sky； but the cloud！
And because of a scruple which she could not understand！ She had no
anger with that unintelligible scruple； but her fatalism； and her
sympathy had followed it out into his future。 Things being so； it
could not be long before he felt that her love was maiming him； even
if he went on desiring her； it would be only with his body。 And if；
for this scruple； he were capable of giving up his public life； he
would be capable of living on with her after his love was dead！ This
thought she could not bear。 It stung to the very marrow of her
nerves。 And yet surely Life could not be so cruel as to have given
her such happiness meaning to take it from her！ Surely her love was
not to be only one summer's day； his love but an embrace