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had twice over left hera dead woman。 Whatever the nature of those
immature sensations with which； as a girl of twenty； she had accepted
her husband； in her feeling towards Miltoun there was not only
abandonment； but the higher flame of self…renunciation。 She wanted
to do the best for him； and had not even the consolation of the
knowledge that she had sacrificed herself for his advantage。 All had
been taken out of her hands！ Yet with characteristic fatalism she
did not feel rebellious。 If it were ordained that she should； for
fifty； perhaps sixty years； repent in sterility and ashes that first
error of her girlhood； rebellion was； none the less； too far…fetched。
If she rebelled； it would not be in spirit； but in action。 General
principles were nothing to her； she lost no force brooding over the
justice or injustice of her situation； but merely tried to digest its
facts。
The whole day； succeeding Courtier's visit； was spent by her in the
National Gallery； whose roof； alone of all in London； seemed to offer
her protection。 She had found one painting； by an Italian master；
the subject of which reminded her of Miltoun； and before this she sat
for a very long time； attracting at last the gouty stare of an
official。 The still figure of this lady； with the oval face and
grave beauty； both piqued his curiosity； and stimulated certain moral
qualms。 She； was undoubtedly waiting for her lover。 No woman； in
his experience； had ever sat so long before a picture without
ulterior motive； and he kept his eyes well opened to see what this
motive would be like。 It gave him； therefore； a sensation almost
amounting to chagrin when coming round once more； he found they had
eluded him and gone off together without coming under his inspection。
Feeling his feet a good deal； for he had been on them all day； he sat
down in the hollow which she had left behind her； and against his
will found himself also looking at the picture。 It was painted in a
style he did not care for； the face of the subject； too； gave him the
queer feeling that the gentleman was being roasted inside。 He had
not been sitting there long； however； before he perceived the lady
standing by the picture； and the lips of the gentleman in the picture
moving。 It seemed to him against the rules； and he got up at once；
and went towards it； but as he did so； he found that his eyes were
shut； and opened them hastily。 There was no one there。
》From the National Gallery； Audrey had gone into an A。B。C。 for tea；
and then home。 Before the Mansions was a taxi…cab； and the maid met
her with the news that 'Lady Caradoc' was in the sitting…room。
Barbara was indeed standing in the middle of the room with a look on
her face such as her father wore sometimes on the racecourse； in the
hunting field； or at stormy Cabinet Meetings； a look both resolute
and sharp。 She spoke at once：
〃I got your address from Mr。 Courtier。 My brother is ill。 I'm
afraid it'll be brain fever； I think you had better go and see him at
his rooms in the Temple； there's no time to be lost。〃
To Audrey everything in the room seemed to go round； yet all her
senses were preternaturally acute； so that she could distinctly smell
the mud of the river at low tide。 She said； with a shudder：
〃Oh！ I will go； yes； I will go at once。〃
〃He's quite alone。 He hasn't asked for you； but I think your going
is the only chance。 He took me for you。 You told me once you were a
good nurse。〃
〃Yes。〃
The room was steady enough now； but she had lost the preternatural
acuteness of her senses； and felt confused。 She heard Barbara say：
〃I can take you to the door in my cab；〃 and murmuring： 〃I will get
ready；〃 went into her bedroom。 For a moment she was so utterly
bewildered that she did nothing。 Then every other thought was lost
in a strange； soft； almost painful delight； as if some new instinct
were being born in her； and quickly； but without confusion or hurry；
she began packing。 She put into a valise her own toilet things； then
flannel； cotton…wool； eau de Cologne； hot…water bottle； Etna； shawls；
thermometer； everything she had which could serve in illness。
Changing to a plain dress； she took up the valise and returned to
Barbara。 They went out together to the cab。 The moment it began to
bear her to this ordeal at once so longed…for and so terrible； fear
came over her again； so that she screwed herself into the corner；
very white and still。 She was aware of Barbara calling to the
driver： 〃Go by the Strand； and stop at a poulterer's for ice！〃 And；
when the bag of ice had been handed in； heard her saying： 〃I will
bring you all you wantif he is really going to be ill。〃
Then； as the cab stopped； and the open doorway of the staircase was
before her； all her courage came back。
She felt the girl's warm hand against her own； and grasping her
valise and the bag of ice； got out； and hurried up the steps。
CHAPTER IX
On leaving Nettlefold； Miltoun had gone straight back to his rooms；
and begun at once to work at his book on the land question。 He
worked all through that nighthis third night without sleep； and all
the following day。 In the evening； feeling queer in the head； he
went out and walked up and down the Embankment。 Then； fearing to go
to bed and lie sleepless； he sat down in his arm…chair。 Falling
asleep there； he had fearful dreams； and awoke unrefreshed。 After
his bath； he drank coffee； and again forced himself to work。 By the
middle of the day he felt dizzy and exhausted； but utterly
disinclined to eat。 He went out into the hot Strand； bought himself
a necessary book； and after drinking more coffee； came back and again
began to work。 At four o'clock he found that he was not taking in
the words。 His head was burning hot； and he went into his bedroom to
bathe it。 Then somehow he began walking up and down； talking to
himself； as Barbara had found him。
She had no sooner gone； than he felt utterly exhausted。 A small
crucifix hung over his bed； and throwing himself down before it； he
remained motionless with his face buried in the coverlet； and his
arms stretched out towards the wall。 He did not pray； but merely
sought rest from sensation。 Across his half…hypnotized consciousness
little threads of burning fancy kept shooting。 Then he could feel
nothing but utter physical sickness； and against this his will
revolted。 He resolved that he would not be ill； a ridiculous log for
women to hang over。 But the moments of sickness grew longer and more
frequent； and to drive them away he rose from his knees； and for some
time again walked up and down； then； seized with vertigo； he was
obliged to sit on the bed to save himself from falling。 From being
burning hot he had become deadly cold； glad to cover himself with the
bedclothes。 The heat soon flamed up in him again； but with a sick
man's instinct he did not throw off the clothes； and stayed quite
still。 The room seemed to have turned to a thick white substance
like a cloud； in which he lay enwrapped； unable to move hand or foot。
His sense of smell and hearing had become unnaturally acute； he
smelled the distant streets； flowers； dust； and the