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his vision ever since； the Ball。 During his own last dance with her
he had been almost savagely silent； only by a great effort
restraining his tongue from mordant allusions to that 'prancing； red…
haired fellow；' as he secretly called the champion of lost causes。
In fact； his sensations there and since had been a revelation； or
would have teen if he could have stood apart to see them。 True； he
had gone about next day with his usual cool； off…hand manner； because
one naturally did not let people see； but it was with such an inner
aching and rage of want and jealousy as to really merit pity。 Men of
his physically big； rather rushing； type； are the last to possess
their souls in patience。 Walking home after the Ball he had
determined to follow her down to the sea； where she had said； so
maliciously； that she was going。 After a second almost sleepless
night he had no longer any hesitation。 He must see her！ After all；
a man might go to his own 'place' with impunity； he did not care if
it were a pointed thing to do。。。。 Pointed！ The more pointed the
better！ There was beginning to be roused in him an ugly stubbornness
of male determination。 She should not escape him！
But now that he was walking at her side； all that determination and
assurance melted to perplexed humility。 He marched along by his
horse with his head down； just feeling the ache of being so close to
her and yet so far； angry with his own silence and awkwardness；
almost angry with her for her loveliness； and the pain it made him
suffer。 When they reached the house； and she left him at the stable…
yard； saying she was going to get some flowers； he jerked the beast's
bridle and swore at it for its slowness in entering the stable。 He；
was terrified that she would be gone before he could get into the
garden； yet half afraid of finding her there。 But she was still
plucking carnations by the box hedge which led to the conservatories。
And as she rose from gathering those blossoms； before he knew what he
was doing； Harbinger had thrown his arm around her； held her as in a
vice； kissed her unmercifully。
She seemed to offer no resistance； her smooth cheeks growing warmer
and warmer； even her lips passive； but suddenly he recoiled； and his
heart stood still at his own outrageous daring。 What had he done？
He saw her leaning back almost buried in the clipped box hedge； and
heard her say with a sort of faint mockery： 〃Well！〃
He would have flung himself down on his knees to ask for pardon but
for the thought that someone might come。 He muttered hoarsely： 〃By
God； I was mad！〃 and stood glowering in sullen suspense between
hardihood and fear。 He heard her say； quietly：
〃Yes； you were…rather。〃
Then seeing her put her hand up to her lips as if he had hurt them；
he muttered brokenly：
〃Forgive me； Babs！〃
There was a full minute's silence while he stood there； no longer
daring to look at her； beaten all over by his emotions。 Then； with
bewilderment； he heard her say：
〃I didn't mind itfor once！〃
He looked up at that。 How could she love him； and speak so coolly！
How could she not mind； if she did not love him！ She was passing her
hands over her face and neck and hair； repairing the damage of his
kisses。
〃Now shall we go in？〃 she said。
Harbinger took a step forward。
〃I love you so；〃 he said； 〃I will put my life in your hands； and you
shall throw it away。〃
At those words； of whose exact nature he had very little knowledge；
he saw her smile。
〃If I let you come within three yards； will you be good？〃
He bowed； and； in silence； they walked towards the house。
Dinner that evening was a strange； uncomfortable meal。 But its
comedy； too subtly played for Miltoun and Lord Dennis； seemed
transparent to the eyes of Lady Casterley； for； when Harbinger had
sallied forth to ride back along the sands； she took her candle and
invited Barbara to retire。 Then； having admitted her granddaughter
to the apartment always reserved for herself； and specially furnished
with practically nothing； she sat down opposite that tall； young；
solid figure； as it were taking stock of it； and said：
〃So you are coming to your senses； at all events。 Kiss me！'
Barbara； stooping to perform this rite； saw a tear stealing down the
carved fine nose。 Knowing that to notice it would be too dreadful；
she raised herself； and went to the window。 There； staring out over
the dark fields and dark sea； by the side of which Harbinger was
riding home； she put her hand up to her； lips； and thought for the
hundredth time：
〃So that's what it's like！〃
CHAPTER VI
Three days after his first； and as he promised himself； his last
Society Ball； Courtier received a note from Audrey Noel； saying that
she had left Monkland for the present； and come up to a little flat
on the riverside not far from Westminster。
When he made his way there that same July day； the Houses of
Parliament were bright under a sun which warmed all the grave air
emanating from their counsels of perfection： Courtier passed by
dubiously。 His feelings in the presence of those towers were always
a little mixed。 There was not so much of the poet in him as to cause
him to see nothing there at all save only same lines against the sky；
but there was enough of the poet to make him long to kick something；
and in this mood he wended his way to the riverside。
Mrs。 Noel was not at home； but since the maid informed him that she
would be in directly； he sat down to wait。 Her flat； which was on…
the first floor； overlooked the river and had evidently been taken
furnished； for there were visible marks of a recent struggle with an
Edwardian taste which； flushed from triumph over Victorianism； had
filled the rooms with early Georgian remains。 On the only definite
victory； a rose…coloured window seat of great comfort and little age；
Courtier sat down； and resigned himself to doing nothing with the
ease of an old soldier。
To the protective feeling he had once had for a very graceful； dark…
haired child； he joined not only the championing pity of a man of
warm heart watching a woman in distress； but the impatience of one；
who； though temperamentally incapable of feeling oppressed himself；
rebelled at sight of all forms of tyranny affecting others。
The sight of the grey towers； still just visible； under which Miltoun
and his father sat； annoyed him deeply； symbolizing to him；
Authorityfoe to his deathless mistress； the sweet； invincible lost
cause of Liberty。 But presently the river； bringing up in flood the
unbound water that had bathed every shore； touched all sands； and
seen the rising and falling of each mortal star； so soothed him with
its soundless hymn to Freedom； that Audrey Noel coming in with her
hands full of flowers； found him sleeping firmly； with his mouth
shut。
Noiselessly putting down the flowers； she waited for his awakening。
That sanguine visage； with its prominent chin； flaring moustaches；
and eyebrows raised rather V…shaped above his closed eyes； wore an
expression of cheery defiance even in sleep； and perhaps no face in
all London was so utterly its obverse； as that of this dark； soft…
haired