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turbulent joy; and he who gives way to such; sullies the air with
brutish laughter。 Such false joy drags the sinner into all sorts of
excess。 But sometimes also the troubles of the soul and of the senses
throw us into an impious sadness which is a thousand times worse than
the joy。 Brother Paphnutius; I am but a miserable sinner; but I have
found; in my long life; that the cenobite has no foe worse than
sadness。 I mean by that the obstinate melancholy which envelopes the
soul as in a mist; and hides from us the light of God。 Nothing is more
contrary to salvation; and the devil's greatest triumph is to sow
black and bitter thoughts in the heart of a good man。 If he sent us
only pleasurable temptations; he would not be half so much to be
feared。 Alas! he excels in making us sad。 Did he not show to our
father Anthony a black child of such surpassing beauty that the very
sight of it drew tears? With God's help; our father Anthony avoided
the snares of the demon。 I knew him when he lived amongst us; he was
cheerful with his disciples; and never gave way to melancholy。 But did
you not come; my brother; to talk to me of a design you had formed in
your mind? Let me know what it isif; at least; this design has for
its object the glory of God。〃
〃Brother Palemon; what I propose is really to the glory of God。
Strengthen me with your counsel; for you know many things; and sin has
never darkened the clearness of your mind。〃
〃Brother Paphnutius; I am not worthy to unloose the latchet of thy
sandals; and my sins are as countless as the sands of the desert。 But
I am old; and I will never refuse the help of my experience。〃
〃I will confide in you; then; brother Palemon; that I am stricken with
grief at the thought that there is; in Alexandria; a courtesan named
Thais; who lives in sin; and is a subject of reproach unto the
people。〃
〃Brother Paphnutius; that is; in truth; an abomination which we do
well to deplore。 There are many women amongst the Gentiles who lead
lives of that kind。 Have you thought of any remedy for this great
evil?〃
〃Brother Palemon; I will go to Alexandria and find this woman; and;
with God's help; I will convert her; that is my intention; do you
approve of it; brother?〃
〃Brother Paphnutius; I am but a miserable sinner; but our father
Anthony used to say; 'In whatsoever place thou art; hasten not to
leave it to go elsewhere。' 〃
〃Brother Palemon; do you disapprove of my project?〃
〃Dear Paphnutius; God forbid that I should suspect my brother of bad
intentions。 But our father Anthony also said; 'Fishes die on dry land;
and so is it with those monks who leave their cells and mingle with
the men of this world; amongst whom no good thing is to be found。' 〃
Having thus spoken; the old man pressed his foot on the spade; and
began to dig energetically round a fig tree laden with fruit。 As he
was thus engaged; there was a rustling in the bushes; and an antelope
leaped over the hedge which surrounded the garden; it stopped;
surprised and frightened; its delicate legs trembling; then ran up to
the old man; and laid its pretty head on the breast of its friend。
〃God be praised in the gazelle of the desert;〃 said Palemon。
He went to his hut; the light…footed little animal trotting after him;
and brought out some black bread; which the antelope ate out of his
hand。
Paphnutius remained thoughtful for some time; his eyes fixed upon the
stones at his feet。 Then he slowly walked back to his cell; pondering
on what he had heard。 A great struggle was going on in his mind。
〃The hermit gives good advice;〃 he said to himself; 〃the spirit of
prudence is in him。 And he doubts the wisdom of my intention。 Yet it
would be cruel to leave Thais any longer in the power of the demon who
possesses her。 May God advise and conduct me。〃
As he was walking along; he saw a plover; caught in the net that a
hunter had laid on the sand; and he knew that it was a hen bird; for
he saw the male fly to the net; and tear the meshes one by one with
its beak; until it had made an opening by which its mate could escape。
The holy man watched this incident; and as; by virtue of his holiness;
he easily comprehended the mystic sense of all occurrences; he knew
that the captive bird was no other than Thais; caught in the snares of
sin; and thatlike the plover that had cut the hempen threads with
its beakhe could; by pronouncing the word of power; break the
invisible bonds by which Thais was held in sin。 Therefore he praised
God; and was confirmed in his first resolution。 But then seeing the
plover caught by the feet; and hampered by the net it had broken; he
fell into uncertainty again。
He did not sleep all night; and before dawn he had a vision。 Thais
appeared to him again。 There was no expression of guilty pleasure on
her face; nor was she dressed according to custom in transparent
drapery。 She was enveloped in a shroud; which hid even a part of her
face; so that the Abbot could see nothing but the two eyes; from which
flowed white and heavy tears。
At this sight he began to weep; and believing that this vision came
from God; he no longer hesitated。 He rose; seized a knotted stick; the
symbol of the Christian faith; and left his cell; carefully closing
the door; lest the animals of the desert and the birds of the air
should enter; and befoul the copy of the Holy Scriptures which stood
at the head of his bed。 He called Flavian; the deacon; and gave him
authority over the other twenty…three disciples during his absence;
and then; clad only in a long cassock; he bent his steps towards the
Nile; intending to follow the Libyan bank to the city founded by the
Macedonian monarch。 He walked from dawn to eve; indifferent to
fatigue; hunger; and thirst; the sun was already low on the horizon
when he saw the dreadful river; the blood…red waters of which rolled
between the rocks of gold and fire。
He kept along the shore; begging his bread at the door of solitary
huts for the love of God; and joyfully receiving insults; refusals; or
threats。 He feared neither robbers nor wild beasts; but he took great
care to avoid all the towns and villages he came near。 He was afraid
lest he should see children playing at knuckle…bones before their
father's house; or meet; by the side of the well; women in blue
smocks; who might put down their pitcher and smile at him。 All things
are dangerous for the hermit; it is sometimes a danger for him to read
in the Scriptures that the Divine Master journeyed from town to town
and supped with His disciples。 The virtues that the anchorites
embroider so carefully on the tissue of faith; are as fragile as they
are beautiful; a breath of ordinary life may tarnish their pleasant
colours。 For that reason; Paphnutius avoided the towns; fearing lest
his heart should soften at the sight of his fellow men。
He journeyed along lonely roads。 When evening came; the murmuring of
the breeze amidst the tamarisk trees made him shiver; and he pulled
his hood over his eyes that he might not see how beautiful all things
were。 After walking six days; he came to a place called Silsile。 There
the river runs in a narrow valley; bordered by a double ch