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in the days of Deucalion； and had argued with his fellow…scholars
concerning the nature； the attributes； and even the existence of God。
He then led a life of dissipation； after the manner of the Gentiles；
and he recalled the memory of those days with shame and horror。
〃At that time；〃 he used to say to the brethren； 〃I seethed in the
cauldron of false delights。〃
He meant by that that he had eaten food properly dressed； and
frequented the public baths。 In fact； until his twentieth year he had
continued to lead the ordinary existence of those times； which now
seemed to him rather death than life； but； owing to the lessons of the
priest Macrinus； he then became a new man。
The truth penetrated him through and through； andas he used to say
entered his soul like a sword。 He embraced the faith of Calvary； and
worshipped Christ crucified。 After his baptism he remained yet a year
amongst the Gentiles； unable to cast off the bonds of old habits。 But
one day he entered a church； and heard a deacon read from the Bible；
the verse； 〃If thou wilt be perfect； go and sell that thou hast； and
give to the poor。〃 Thereupon he sold all that he had； gave away the
money in alms； and embraced the monastic life。
During the ten years that he had lived remote from men； he no longer
seethed in the cauldron of false delights； but more profitably
macerated his flesh in the balms of penitence。
One day when； according to his pious custom； he was recalling to mind
the hours he had lived apart from God； and examining his sins one by
one； that he might the better ponder on their enormity； he remembered
that he had seen at the theatre at Alexandria a very beautiful actress
named Thais。 This woman showed herself in the public games； and did
not scruple to perform dances； the movements of which； arranged only
too cleverly； brought to mind the most horrible passions。 Sometimes
she imitated the horrible deeds which the Pagan fables ascribe to
Venus； Leda； or Pasiphae。 Thus she fired all the spectators with lust；
and when handsome young men； or rich old ones； came； inspired with
love； to hang wreaths of flowers round her door； she welcomed them；
and gave herself up to them。 So that； whilst she lost her own soul；
she also ruined the souls of many others。
She had almost led Paphnutius himself into the sins of the flesh。 She
had awakened desire in him； and he had once approached the house of
Thais。 But he stopped on the threshold of the courtesan's house；
partly restrained by the natural timidity of extreme youthhe was
then but fifteen years oldand partly by the fear of being refused on
account of his want of money； for his parents took care that he should
commit no great extravagances。
God； in His mercy； had used these two means to prevent him from
committing a great sin。 But Paphnutius had not been grateful to Him
for that； because at that time he was blind to his own interests； and
did not know that he was lusting after false delights。 Now； kneeling
in his cell； before the image of that holy cross on which hung； as in
a balance； the ransom of the world； Paphnutius began to think of
Thais； because Thais was a sin to him； and he meditated long；
according to ascetic rules； on the fearful hideousness of the carnal
delights with which this woman had inspired him in the days of his sin
and ignorance。 After some hours of meditation the image of Thais
appeared to him clearly and distinctly。 He saw her again； as he had
seen her when she tempted him； in all the beauty of the flesh。 At
first she showed herself like a Leda； softly lying upon a bed of
hyacinths； her head bowed； her eyes humid and filled with a strange
light； her nostrils quivering； her mouth half open； her breasts like
two flowers； and her arms smooth and fresh as two brooks。 At this
sight Paphnutius struck his breast and said
〃I call Thee to witness； my God； that I have considered how heinous
has been my sin。〃
Gradually the face of the image changed its expression。 Little by
little the lips of Thais； by lowering at the corners of the mouth；
expressed a mysterious suffering。 Her large eyes were filled with
tears and lights； her breast heaved with sighs； like the sighing of a
wind that precedes a tempest。 At this sight Paphnutius was troubled to
the bottom of his soul。 Prostrating himself on the floor； he uttered
this prayer
〃Thou who hast put pity in our hearts； like the morning dew upon the
fields； O just and merciful God； be Thou blessed！ Praise！ praise be
unto Thee！ Put away from Thy servant that false tenderness which
tempts to concupiscence； and grant that I may only love Thy creatures
in Thee； for they pass away； but Thou endurest for ever。 If I care for
this woman； it is only because she is Thy handiwork。 The angels
themselves feel pity for her。 Is she not； O Lord； the breath of Thy
mouth？ Let her not continue to sin with many citizens and strangers。
There is great pity for her in my heart。 Her wickednesses are
abominable； and but to think of them makes my flesh creep。 But the
more wicked she is； the more do I lament for her。 I weep when I think
that the devils will torment her to all eternity。〃
As he was meditating in this way； he saw a little jackal lying at his
feet。 He felt much surprised； for the door of his cell had been closed
since the morning。 The animal seemed to read the Abbot's thoughts； and
wagged its tail like a dog。 Paphnutius made the sign of the cross and
the beast vanished。 He knew then that； for the first time； the devil
had entered his cell； and he uttered a short prayer； then he thought
again about Thais。
〃With God's help；〃 he said to himself； 〃I must save her。〃 And he
slept。
The next morning； when he had said his prayers； he went to see the
sainted Palemon； a holy hermit who lived some distance away。 He found
him smiling quietly as he dug the ground； as was his custom。 Palemon
was an old man； and cultivated a little garden； the wild beasts came
and licked his hands； and the devils never tormented him。
〃May God be praised； brother Paphnutius；〃 he said； as he leaned upon
his spade。
〃God be praised！〃 replied Paphnutius。 〃And peace be unto my brother。〃
〃The like peace be unto thee； brother Paphnutius；〃 said Palemon； and
he wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve。
〃Brother Palemon； all our discourse ought to be solely the praise of
Him who has promised to be wheresoever two or three are gathered
together in His Name。 That is why I come to you concerning a design I
have formed to glorify the Lord。〃
〃May the Lord bless thy design； Paphnutius； as He has blessed my
lettuces。 Every morning He spreads His grace with the dew on my
garden； and His goodness causes me to glorify Him in the cucumbers and
melons which He gives me。 Let us pray that He may keep us in His
peace。 For nothing is more to be feared than those unruly passions
which trouble our hearts。 When these passions disturb us we are like
drunken men； and we stagger from right to left unceasingly； and are
like to fall miserably。 Sometimes these passions plunge us into a
turbulent joy； and he who gives way to such； sullies the air with
brutish laughter。 Such false joy drags the sinner int