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not the heart。 At last she advised him to go back to Oxford。 〃I shall be the ruin of your mind if we go on like this;〃 said she sadly。
〃What; leave the field to my rivals? No; thank you。〃
〃What rivals; sir?〃 asked Julia; drawing up。
〃Your mother; your brother; your curates that would come buzzing the moment I left; your sick people; who bask on your smiles and your sweet voice till I envy them: Sarah; whom you permit to brush your lovely hair; the piano you play on; the air you deign to breathe and brighten; everybody and everything that is near you; they are all my rivals; and shall I resign you to them; and leave myself desolate? I'm not such a fool。〃
She smiled; and could not help feeling it was sweet to be pestered。 So she said with matronly dignity; and the old Julian consistency; 〃You are a foolish impetuous boy。 You are the plague of my life: andthe sun of my existence。〃 That passed off charmingly。 But presently his evil genius prompted Alfred to endeavour to soften Mrs。 Dodd by letter; and induce her to consent to his marriage with her daughter。 He received her answer at breakfast…time。 It was wonderfully polite and cold; Mrs。 Dodd feigned unmixed surprise at the proposal; and said that insanity being unfortunately in her own family; and the suspicion of insanity resting on himself; such a union was not to be thought of; and therefore; notwithstanding her respect for his many good qualities; she must decline with thanks the honour he offered her。 She inserted a poisoned sting by way of postscript。 〃When you succeed in publicly removing the impression your own relations share with me; and when my husband owes his restoration to you; instead of his destruction; of course you will receive a very different answer to your proposalshould you then think it consistent with your dignity to renew it。〃
As hostile testators used to leave the disinherited one shilling; not out of a shilling's worth of kindly feeling; but that he might not be able to say his name was omitted through inadvertency; so Mrs。 Dodd inserted this postscript merely to clench the nail and tantalise her enemy。 It was a masterpiece of feminine spite。
She would have been wonderstruck could she have seen how Alfred received her missive。
To be sure he sat in a cold stupor of dejection for a good half hour; but at the end of that time he lifted up his head; and said quietly; 〃So be it。 I'll get the trial over; and my sanity established; as soon as possible: and then I'll hire a yacht and hunt her husband till I find him。〃
Having settled this little plan; he looked out for Julia; whose sympathy he felt in need of after such a stern blow。
She came out much later than usual that day; for to tell the truth; her mother had detained her to show her Alfred's letter; and her answer。
〃Ah; mamma;〃 said poor Julia; 〃you don't love me as you did once。 Poor Alfred!〃
Mrs。 Dodd sighed at this reproach; but said she did not deserve it。 No mother in her senses would consent to such a match。
Julia bowed her head submissively and went to her duties。 But when Alfred came to her open…mouthed to complain of her mother's cruelty; she stopped him at once; and asked him how he could go and write that foolish; unreasonable letter。 Why had he not consulted her first? 〃You have subjected yourself to a rebuff;〃 said she angrily; 〃and one from which I should have saved you。 Is it nothing that mamma out of pity to me connives at our meeting and spending hours together? Do you think she does no violence to her own wishes here? and is she to meet with no return?〃
〃What; are you against me too?〃 said poor Alfred。
〃No; it is you who are our enemy with your unreasonable impatience。〃
〃I am not so cold…blooded as you are; certainly。〃
〃Humility and penitence would become you better than to retort on me。 I love you both; and pray God on my knees to show me how to do my duty to both。〃
〃That is it; you are not single…hearted like me。 You want to please all the world; and reconcile the irreconcilable。 It won't do: you will have to choose between your mother and me at last。〃
〃Then of course I shall choose my mother。〃
〃Why?〃
〃Because she claims my duty as well as my love; because she is bowed down with sorrow; and needs her daughter just now more than you do; besides; you are my other self; and we must deny ourselves。〃
〃We have no more right to be unjust to ourselves than to anybody else; injustice is injustice。〃
〃Alfred; you are a high…minded Heathen; and talk Morality。 Morality is a snare。 What I pray to be is a Christian; as your dear sister was; and to deny myself; and you make it; oh so difficult。〃
〃So I suppose it will end in turning out your heathen and then taking your curate。 Your mother would consent to that directly。〃
〃Alfred;〃 said Julia with dignity; 〃these words are harsh; andforgive me for saying sothey are coarse。 Such words would separate us two; without my mother; if I were to hear many of them; for they take the bloom off affection; and that mutual reverence; without which no gentleman and lady could be blessed in holy wedlock。〃
Alfred was staggered and mortified too: they walked on in silence now。
〃Alfred;〃 said Julia at last; 〃do not think me behind you in affection; but wiser; for once; and our best friend。 I do think we had better see less of one another for a time; my poor Alfred。〃
〃And why for a time? Why not for ever?〃
〃If your heart draws no distinction; why not indeed?〃
〃So be it then: for I will be no woman's slave。 There's my hand; Julia: let us part friends。〃
〃Thank you for that; dear Alfred: may you find some one who can love you morethanI do。〃
The words choked her。 But he was stronger; because he was in a passion。 He reproached her bitterly。 〃If I had been as weak and inconstant as you are; I might have been out of Drayton House long before I did escape。 But I was faithful to my one love。 I have some right to sing 'Aileen Aroon;' you have none。 You are an angel of beauty and goodness; you will go to Heaven; and I shall go to the devil now for want of you; but then you have no constancy nor true fidelity: so that has parted us; and now nothing is left me but to try and hate you。〃
He turned furiously on his heel。
〃God bless you; go where you will;〃 faltered Julia。
He replied with a fierce ejaculation of despair; and dashed away。
Thus temper and misunderstanding triumphed; after so many strange and bitter trials had failed。
But alas! it is often so。
CHAPTER XLIX。
Both the parted lovers were wretched。 Julia never complained; but drooped; and read the Psalms; and Edward detected her in tears over them。 He questioned her and obtained a lame account; she being far more bent on screening Alfred than on telling the truth。
Edward called on the other; and found him disconsolate; and reading a Heathen philosopher for comfort; and finding none。 Edward questioned him; and he was reserved and even sulky。 Sir Imperturbable persisted quietly; and he exploded; and out came his wrongs。 Edward replied that he was a pretty fellow: wanted it all his own way。 〃Suppose my mother; with her present feelings; was to take a leaf out of your book; and use all her power; where would you be