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Con。 Fool！
Accost me like a lady； sir！ I hate
The name of neighbour！
Wild。 Mistress Constance； then …
I'll call thee that。
Con。 Don't call me anything！
I hate to hear thee speakto look at thee；
To dwell in the same house with thee！
Wild。 In what
Have I offended？
Con。 What！I hate an ape！
Wild。 An ape！
Con。 Who bade thee ape the gentleman？
And put on dress that don't belong to thee？
Go！ change thee with thy whipper…in or huntsman；
And none will doubt thou wearest thy own clothes。
Wild。 A pretty pass！ Mocked for the very dress
I bought to pleasure her！ Untoward things
Are women！ ＇Aside。 Walks backwards and forwards。＇
Con。 Do you call that walking？ Pray
What makes you twist your body so； and take
Such pains to turn your toes out？ If you'd walk；
Walk thus！ Walk like a man； as I do now！
＇Walking＇
Is yours the way a gentleman should walk？
You neither walk like man nor gentleman！
I'll show you how you walk。 ＇Mimicking him。＇
Do you call that walking？
Wild。 My thanks； for a drill…sergeant twice a day
For her sake！ ＇Aside。＇
Con。 Now； of all things in the world；
What made you dance last night？
Wild。 What made me dance？
Con。 Right！ It was anything but dancing！ Steps
That never came from dancing…schoolnor English；
Nor Scotch； nor Irish！ You must try to cut；
And how you did it！ ＇Cuts。＇ That's the way to cut！
And then your chasse！ Thus you went； and thus。
＇Mimicking him。＇
As though you had been playing at hop； step；
And jump！and yet you looked so monstrous pleased；
And played the simpleton with such a grace；
Taking their tittering for compliment！
I could have boxed you soundly for't。 Ten times
Denied I that I knew you。
Wild。 Twenty guineas
Were better in the gutter thrown than gone
To fee a dancing…master！ ＇Aside。＇
Con。 And you're grown
An amateur in music！What fine air
Was that you praised last night？〃The Widow Jones！〃
A country jig they turned into a song。
You asked 〃If it had come from Italy？〃
The lady blushed and held her peace； and then
You blushed and said； 〃Perhaps it came from France！〃
And then when blushed the lady more； nor spoke；
You said； 〃At least it came from Germany！〃
The air was English！a true English air；
A downright English air！a common air；
Old as 〃When Good King Arthur。〃 Not a square；
Court； alley； street； or lane about the town；
In which it is not whistled； played； or sung！
But you must have it come from Italy；
Or Germany； or France。 Go home！ Go home！
To Lincolnshire； and mind thy dog and horn！
You'll never do for town！ 〃The Widow Jones〃
To come from Italy！ Stay not in town；
Or you'll be married to the Widow Jones；
Since you've forsworn； you say； the Widow Green！
And morn and night they'll din your ears with her！
〃Well met； dear Master Wildrake。 A fine day！
Pray； can you tell whence came the Widow Jones？〃
They love a jest in town！ To Lincolnshire！
You'll never do for town！ To Lincolnshire；
〃The Widow Jones〃 to come from Italy！
＇Goes out。＇
Wild。 Confound the Widow Jones！ 'Tis true！ The air
Well as the huntsman's triple mort I know；
But knew not then indeed； 'twas so disguised
With shakes and flourishes； outlandish things；
That mar； not grace； an honest English song！
Howe'er； the mischief's done！ and as for her；
She is either into hate or madness fallen。
If madness； would she had her wits again；
Or I my heart！ If hate； my love's undone；
I'll give her up。 I'll e'en to Master Trueworth；
Confess my treasonown my punishment …
Take horse； and back again to Lincolnshire！
＇Goes out。＇
Con。 ＇Returning。＇ Not here！ I trust I have not gone too far！
If he should quit the house！ Go out of town！
Poor neighbour Wildrake！ Little does he owe me！
From childhood I've been used to plague him thus。
Why would he fall in love； and spoil it all！
I feel as I could cry！ He has no right
To marry any one！ What wants he with
A wife？ Has he not plague enough in me？
Would he be plagued with anybody else？
Ever since I have lived in town I have felt
The want of neighbour Wildrake！ Not a soul
Besides I care to quarrel with； and now
He goes and gives himself to another！ What！
Am I in love with neighbour Wildrake？ No。
I only would not have him marrymarry？
Sooner I'd have him dead than have him marry！
ACT IV。
SCENE I。A Room in Master Waller's House。
＇Enter ALICE； hastily。＇
Alice。 ＇Speaking to the outside。＇ Fly； Stephen； to the door！ your
rapier！ quick！ …
Our master is beset； because of one
Whose part he takes； a maid； whom lawless men
Would lawlessly entreat！ In what a world
We live！How do I shake！with what address
＇Looking out of window。＇
He lays about him； and his other arm
Engaged； in charge of her whom he defends！
A damsel worth a broil！Now； Stephen； now！
Take off the odds； brave lad； and turn the scale！
I would I were a swordsman！ How he makes
His rapier fly！Well done！O Heaven； there's blood。
But on the side that's wrong！Well done； good Stephen！
Pray Heaven no life be ta'en！Lay on； brave lad！
He has marked his man again。 Good ladWell done；
I pray no mischief come！Press on him； Stephen！
Now gives he ground。Follow thy advantage up！
Allow no pause for breaths！Hit him again！
Forbid it end in death！Lounge home； good Stephen！
How fast he now retreats！That spring； I'll swear；
Was answer to thy point！Well fenced！Well fenced！
Now Heaven forefend it end in death！He flies！
And from his comrade； the same moment； hath
Our master jerked his swordThe day is ours！
Quick may they get a surgeon for their wounds；
And I； a cordial for my fluttered spirits：
I vow； I'm nigh to swoon！
Wal。 ＇Without。＇ Hoa！ Alice！ Hoa！
Open the door！ Quick； Alice！ Quick！
Alice。 Anon！
Young joints take no thought of aged ones；
But ever think them as supple as themselves。
Wal。 Alice！
Alice。 ＇Opening the door。＇ I'm here！A mercy！ …
Is she dead？
＇Enter MASTER WALLER； bearing LYDIA； fainting。＇
Wal。 No； she but faints。A chair！Quick； Alice； quick！
Water to bathe her temples。
＇ALICE goes out。＇
Such a turn
Kind fortune never do me。 Shall I kiss
To life these frozen lips？No！of her plight
'Twere base to take advantage。
＇ALICE returns； &c。＇
All is well；
The blood returns。
Alice。 How wondrous fair she is！
Wal。 Thou think'st her so？No wonder then should I。
How say you？Wondrous fair？ ＇Aside。＇
Alice。 Yes； wondrous fair！
Harm never come to her！ So sweet a thing
'Twere pity were abused！
Wal。 You think her fair？
Alice。 Ay； marry！ Half so fair were more than match
For fairest she e'er saw mine eyes before！
And what a form！ A foot and instep there！
Vouchers of symmetry！ A little foot
And rising instep； from an ankle arching；
A palm； and that a little one； might span。
Wal。 Who taught thee thus？
Alice。 Why who； but her； taught thee？
Thy mother！Heaven rest her！Thy good mother！
She could read men and women by their hands
And feet！And here's a hand！A fairy palm！
Fingers that taper to the pinky tips；
With nails of rose； like shells of such a hue；
Berimmed with pearl； you pick up on the shore！
Save these the gloss and tint do wear without。
Wal。 Why； how thou talk'st！
Al