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mortals call eruptions。〃 Mount Vesuvius; he assured me; was another of his shops; to which he had a passage three hundred and fifty leagues under the bed of the sea; where similar quarrels produced similar eruptions。 I should have continued here as an humble attendant upon Madam Venus; but some busy tattlers; who delight in mischief; whispered a tale in Vulcan's ear; which roused in him a fit of jealousy not to be appeased。 Without the least previous notice he took me one morning under his arm; as I was waiting upon Venus; agreeable to custom; and carried me to an apartment I had never before seen; in which there was; to all appearance; /a well/ with a wide mouth: over this he held me at arm's length; and saying; 〃/Ungrateful mortal; return to the world from whence you came/;〃 without giving me the least opportunity of reply; dropped me in the centre。 I found myself descending with an increasing rapidity; till the horror of my mind deprived me of all reflection。 I suppose I fell into a trance; from which I was suddenly aroused by plunging into a large body of water illuminated by the rays of the sun!!
I could; from my infancy; swim well; and play tricks in the water。 I now found myself in paradise; considering the horrors of mind I had just been released from。 After looking about me some time; I could discover nothing but an expanse of sea; extending beyond the eye in every direction; I also found it very cold; a different climate from Master Vulcan's shop。 At last I observed at some distance a body of amazing magnitude; like a huge rock; approaching me; I soon discovered it to be a piece of floating ice; I swam round it till I found a place where I could ascend to the top; which I did; but not without some difficulty。 Still I was out of sight of land; and despair returned with double force; however; before night came on I saw a sail; which we approached very fast; when it was within a very small distance I hailed them in German; they answered in Dutch。 I then flung myself into the sea; and they threw out a rope; by which I was taken on board。 I now inquired where we were; and was informed; in the great Southern Ocean; this opened a discovery which removed all my doubts and difficulties。 It was now evident that I had passed from Mount Etna through the centre of the earth to the South Seas: this; gentlemen; was a much shorter cut than going round the world; and which no man has accomplished; or ever attempted; but myself; however; the next time I perform it I will be much more particular in my observations。
I took some refreshment; and went to rest。 The Dutch are a very rude sort of people; I related the Etna passage to the officers; exactly as I have done to you; and some of them; particularly the Captain; seemed by his grimace and half…sentence to doubt my veracity; however; as he had kindly taken me on board his vessel; and was then in the very act of administering to my necessities; I pocketed the affront。
I now in my turn began to inquire where they were bound? To which they answered; they were in search of new discoveries; 〃/and if/;〃 said they; 〃/your story is true; a new passage is really discovered; and we shall not return disappointed/。〃 We were now exactly in Captain Cook's first track; and arrived the next morning in Botany Bay。 This place I would by no means recommend to the English government as a receptacle for felons; or place of punishment; it should rather be the reward of merit; nature having most bountifully bestowed her best gifts upon it。
We stayed here but three days; the fourth after our departure a most dreadful storm arose; which in a few hours destroyed all our sails; splintered our bowsprit; and brought down our topmast; it fell directly upon the box that enclosed our compass; which; with the compass; was broken to pieces。 Every one who has been at sea knows the consequences of such a misfortune: we now were at a loss where to steer。 At length the storm abated; which was followed by a steady; brisk gale; that carried us at least forty knots an hour for six months! 'we should suppose the Baron has made a little mistake; and substituted /months/ for /days/' when we began to observe an amazing change in everything about us: our spirits became light; our noses were regaled with the most aromatic effluvia imaginable: the sea had also changed its complexion; and from green became white!! Soon after these wonderful alterations we saw land; and not at any great distance an inlet; which we sailed up near sixty leagues; and found it wide and deep; flowing with milk of the most delicious taste。 Here we landed; and soon found it was an island consisting of one large cheese: we discovered this by one of the company fainting away as soon as we landed: this man always had an aversion to cheese; when he recovered; he desired the cheese to be taken from under his feet: upon examination we found him perfectly right; for the whole island; as before observed; was nothing but a cheese of immense magnitude! Upon this the inhabitants; who are amazingly numerous; principally sustain themselves; and it grows every night in proportion as it is consumed in the day。 Here seemed to be plenty of vines; with bunches of large grapes; which; upon being pressed; yielded nothing but milk。 We saw the inhabitants running races upon the surface of the milk: they were upright; comely figures; nine feet high; have three legs; and but one arm; upon the whole; their form was graceful; and when they quarrel; they exercise a straight horn; which grows in adults from the centre of their foreheads; with great adroitness; they did not sink at all; but ran and walked upon the surface of the milk; as we do upon a bowling…green。
Upon this island of cheese grows great plenty of corn; the ears of which produce loaves of bread; ready made; of a round form like mushrooms。 We discovered; in our rambles over this cheese; seventeen other rivers of milk; and ten of wine。
After thirty…eight days' journey we arrived on the opposite side to that on which we landed: here we found some blue mould; as cheese… eaters call it; from whence spring all kinds of rich fruit; instead of breeding mites it produced peaches; nectarines; apricots; and a thousand delicious fruits which we are not acquainted with。 In these trees; which are of an amazing size; were plenty of birds' nests; amongst others was a king…fisher's of prodigious magnitude; it was at least twice the circumference of the dome of St。 Paul's Church in London。 Upon inspection; this nest was made of huge trees curiously joined together; there were; let me see (/for I make it a rule always to speak within compass/); there were upwards of five hundred eggs in the nest; and each of them was as large as four common hogsheads; or eight barrels; and we could not only see; but hear the young ones chirping within。 Having; with great fatigue; cut open one of these eggs; we let out a young one unfeathered; considerably larger than twenty full…grown vultures。 Just as we had given this youngster his liberty the old kingfisher lighted; and seizing our captain; who had been active in breaking the egg; in one of her claws; flew with him above a mile high; and then let him drop into the sea; but not till she ha