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later I was at the Rue de Provence。
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
CHAPTER 20
My father was seated in my room in his dressing…gown； he was writing；
and I saw at once； by the way in which he raised his eyes to me when I
came in； that there was going to be a serious discussion。 I went up to him；
all the same； as if I had seen nothing in his face； embraced him； and said：
〃When did you come； father？〃
〃Last night。〃
〃Did you come straight here； as usual？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃I am very sorry not to have been here to receive you。〃
I expected that the sermon which my father's cold face threatened
would begin at once； but he said nothing； sealed the letter which he had
just written； and gave it to Joseph to post。
When we were alone； my father rose； and leaning against the mantel…
piece； said to me：
〃My dear Armand； we have serious matters to discuss。〃
〃I am listening； father。〃
〃You promise me to be frank？〃
〃Am I not accustomed to be so？〃
〃Is it not true that you are living with a woman called Marguerite
Gautier？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Do you know what this woman was？〃
〃A kept woman。〃
〃And it is for her that you have forgotten to come and see your sister
and me this year？〃
〃Yes； father； I admit it。〃
〃You are very much in love with this woman？〃
〃You see it； father； since she has made me fail in duty toward you； for
which I humbly ask your forgiveness to…day。〃
My father； no doubt； was not expecting such categorical answers； for
he seemed to reflect a moment； and then said to me：
〃You have； of course； realized that you can not always live like that？〃
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
〃I fear so； father； but I have not realized it。〃
〃But you must realize；〃 continued my father； in a dryer tone； 〃that I； at
all events； should not permit it。〃
〃I have said to myself that as long as I did nothing contrary to the
respect which I owe to the traditional probity of the family I could live as I
am living； and this has reassured me somewhat in regard to the fears I
have had。〃
Passions are formidable enemies to sentiment。 I was prepared for
every struggle； even with my father； in order that I might keep Marguerite。
〃Then； the moment is come when you must live otherwise。〃
〃Why； father？〃
〃Because you are doing things which outrage the respect that you
imagine you have for your family。〃
〃I don't follow your meaning。〃
〃I will explain it to you。 Have a mistress if you will； pay her as a man
of honour is bound to pay the woman whom he keeps； by all means； but
that you should come to forget the most sacred things for her； that you
should let the report of your scandalous life reach my quiet countryside；
and set a blot on the honourable name that I have given you； it can not； it
shall not be。〃
〃Permit me to tell you； father； that those who have given you
information about me have been ill…informed。 I am the lover of Mlle。
Gautier； I live with her； it is the most natural thing in the world。 I do not
give Mlle。 Gautier the name you have given me； I spend on her account
what my means allow me to spend； I have no debts； and； in short； I am not
in a position which authorizes a father to say to his son what you have just
said to me。〃
〃A father is always authorized to rescue his son out of evil paths。 You
have not done any harm yet； but you will do it。〃
〃Father！〃
〃Sir； I know more of life than you do。 There are no entirely pure
sentiments except in perfectly chaste women。 Every Manon can have her
own Des Grieux； and times are changed。 It would be useless for the world
to grow older if it did not correct its ways。 You will leave your mistress。〃
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
〃I am very sorry to disobey you； father； but it is impossible。〃
〃I will compel you to do so。〃
〃Unfortunately； father； there no longer exists a Sainte Marguerite to
which courtesans can be sent； and； even if there were； I would follow Mlle。
Gautier if you succeeded in having her sent there。 What would you have？
Perhaps am in the wrong； but I can only be happy as long as I am the lover
of this woman。〃
〃Come； Armand； open your eyes。 Recognise that it is your father who
speaks to you； your father who has always loved you； and who only
desires your happiness。 Is it honourable for you to live like husband and
wife with a woman whom everybody has had？〃
〃What does it matter； father； if no one will any more？ What does it
matter； if this woman loves me； if her whole life is changed through the
love which she has for me and the love which I have for her？ What does it
matter； if she has become a different woman？〃
〃Do you think； then； sir； that the mission of a man of honour is to go
about converting lost women？ Do you think that God has given such a
grotesque aim to life； and that the heart should have any room for
enthusiasm of that kind？ What will be the end of this marvellous cure； and
what will you think of what you are saying to…day by the time you are
forty？ You will laugh at this love of yours； if you can still laugh； and if it
has not left too serious a trace in your past。 What would you be now if
your father had had your ideas and had given up his life to every impulse
of this kind； instead of rooting himself firmly in convictions of honour and
steadfastness？ Think it over； Armand； and do not talk any more such
absurdities。 Come； leave this woman； your father entreats you。〃
I answered nothing。
〃Armand；〃 continued my father； 〃in the name of your sainted mother；
abandon this life； which you will forget more easily than you think。 You
are tied to it by an impossible theory。 You are twenty…four； think of the
future。 You can not always love this woman； who also can not always love
you。 You both exaggerate your love。 You put an end to your whole career。
One step further； and you will no longer be able to leave the path you have
chosen； and you will suffer all your life for what you have done in your