按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
r before him。 He believed firmly that he had been shown God； that he had himself stood in the presence of God； and that there had been a plain call to him to proclaim God to the world。 He had realized God； and it was the task of every one who had realized God to help all mankind to the same realization。 The proposal of Lady Sunderbund had fallen in with that idea。 He had been steeling himself to a prospect of struggle and dire poverty； but her prompt loyalty had come as an immense relief to his anxiety for his wife and family。 When he had talked to Eleanor upon the beach at Hunstanton it had seemed to him that his course was manifest； perhaps a little severe but by no means impossible。 They had sat together in the sunshine； exalted by a sense of fine adventure and confident of success； they had looked out upon the future； upon the great near future in which the idea of God was to inspire and reconstruct the world。
It was only very slowly that this pristine clearness became clouded and confused。 It had not been so easy as Eleanor had supposed to win over the sympathy of Lady Ella with his resignation。 Indeed it had not been won over。 She had become a stern and chilling companion； mute now upon the issue of his resignation； but manifestly resentful。 He was secretly disappointed and disconcerted by her tone。 And the same hesitation of the mind； instinctive rather than reasoned； that had prevented a frank explanation of his earlier doubts to her； now restrained him from telling her naturally and at once of the part that Lady Sunderbund was to play in his future ministry。 In his own mind he felt assured about that part； but in order to excuse his delay in being frank with his wife； he told himself that he was not as yet definitely committed to Lady Sunderbund's project。 And in accordance with that idea he set up housekeeping in London upon a scale that implied a very complete cessation of income。 〃As yet；〃 he told Lady Ella； 〃we do not know where we stand。 For a time we must not so much house ourselves as camp。 We must take some quite small and modest house in some less expensive district。 If possible I would like to take it for a year； until we know better how things are with us。〃
He reviewed a choice of London districts。
Lady Ella said her bitterest thing。 〃Does it matter where we hide our heads？〃
That wrung him to： 〃We are not hiding our heads。〃
She repented at once。 〃I am sorry； Ted；〃 she said。 〃It slipped from me。〃。。。
He called it camping； but the house they had found in Pembury Road； Notting Hill； was more darkened and less airy than any camp。 Neither he nor his wife had ever had any experience of middle…class house…hunting or middle…class housekeeping before； and they spent three of the most desolating days of their lives in looking for this cheap and modest shelter for their household possessions。 Hitherto life had moved them from one established and comfortable home to another； their worst affliction had been the modern decorations of the Palace at Princhester； and it was altogether a revelation to them to visit house after house； ill…lit； ill…planned； with dingy paint and peeling wallpaper； kitchens for the most part underground； and either without bathrooms or with built…out bathrooms that were manifestly grudging afterthoughts； such as harbour the respectable middle classes of London。 The house agents perceived intimations of helplessness in their manner； adopted a 〃rushing〃 method with them strange to people who had hitherto lived in a glowing halo of episcopal dignity。 〃Take it or leave it；〃 was the note of those gentlemen； 〃there are always people ready for houses。〃 The line that property in land and houses takes in England； the ex…bishop realized； is always to hold up and look scornful。 The position of the land…owning； house…owning class in a crowded country like England is ultra…regal。 It is under no obligation to be of use； and people are obliged to get down to the land somewhere。 They cannot conduct business and rear families in the air。 England's necessity is the landlord's opportunity。。。。
Scrope began to generalize about this； and develop a new and sincerer streak of socialism in his ideas。 〃The church has been very remiss；〃 he said； as he and Lady Ella stared at the basement 〃breakfast room〃 of their twenty…seventh dismal possibility。 〃It should have insisted far more than it has done upon the landlord's responsibility。 No one should tolerate the offer of such a house as thisat such a rentto decent people。 It is unrighteous。〃
At the house agent's he asked in a cold； intelligent ruling… class voice； the name of the offending landlord。
〃It's all the property of the Ecclesiastical Commissioners that side of the railway；〃 said the agent； picking his teeth with a pin。 〃Lazy lot。 Dreadfully hard to get 'em to do anything。 Own some of the worst properties in London。〃
Lady Ella saw things differently again。 〃If you had stayed in the church；〃 she said afterwards； 〃you might have helped to alter such things as that。〃
At the time he had no answer。
〃But；〃 he said presently as they went back in the tube to their modest Bloomsbury hotel； 〃if I had stayed in the church I should never have realized things like that。〃
（4）
But it does no justice to Lady Ella to record these two unavoidable expressions of regret without telling also of the rallying courage with which she presently took over the task of resettling herself and her stricken family。 Her husband's change of opinion had fallen upon her out of a clear sky； without any premonition； in one tremendous day。 In one day there had come clamouring upon her； with an effect of revelation after revelation； the ideas of drugs； of heresy and blasphemy； of an alien feminine influence； of the entire moral and material breakdown of the man who had been the centre of her life。 Never was the whole world of a woman so swiftly and comprehensively smashed。 All the previous troubles of her life seemed infinitesimal in comparison with any single item in this dismaying debacle。 She tried to consolidate it in the idea that he was ill； 〃disordered。〃 She assured herself that he would return from Hunstanton restored to health and orthodoxy； with all his threatenings of a resignation recalled； the man she had loved and trusted to succeed in the world and to do right always according to her ideas。 It was only with extreme reluctance that she faced the fact that with the fumes of the drug dispelled and all signs of nervous exhaustion gone； he still pressed quietly but resolutely toward a severance from the church。 She tried to argue with him and she found she could not argue。 The church was a crystal sphere in which her life was wholly contained； her mind could not go outside it even to consider a dissentient proposition。
While he was at Hunstanton； every day she had prayed for an hour； some days she had prayed for several hours； in the cathedral； kneeling upon a harsh hassock that hurt her knees。 Even in her prayers she could not argue nor vary。 She prayed over and over again many hundreds of times： 〃Bring him back； dear Lord。 Bring him back again。〃
In the past he had always been a very kind and friendly mate to her； but sometimes he had been irritable